On Memorial Day, I went for a walk. It was a gorgeous day. The sky was blue, the air was warm, the flowers were blooming.
It was a good day to be alive!
I've been struggling for the past three months. I have been sick. No, I don't really know what it is. I went to the doctor several times, was put on three different antibiotics, and a course of steroids (to bring the coughing under control enough so I would stop throwing up. Yeah, fun times). Still no improvement. I've had every bit of advice thrown my way, from "oh, it's probably just allergies." (Um, NO. It's not.), to "You should really be using X, Y, and Z essential oils. You'd be cured in a matter of days." (Not a fan. I had a student a couple of years ago whose mother was convinced could study and learn better if DOUSED in essential oils daily. Yeah, the rest of us had massive headaches from the overpowering aroma until the principal put his foot down and told the mother it was too much. And, no, the oils DID NOT make her smarter.) I wish I could tell people just how very unhelpful their armchair doctoring is to me. I don't mind sympathy, I don't need amateur doctors.
The real doc thinks it is bronchitis, but I've never heard of bronchitis sticking around for this long. He insists it's not pneumonia, so there's that. For what it's worth.
Meanwhile, back at the farm, life goes on much as you'd expect with mostly grown kids. Late night worrying and late-teen temptations and frustrations being what they are, I never quite get enough sleep. Also, the stress of being the mom has gifted me with an impressive collection of acne smattered across my chin. So sexy in a 40 something year old.
So, you can see what a gift that beautiful day was to me. As I was walking the neighborhood, I reflected that I really do live in a great location! I live in what most people would call a fair to big sized city, but I live in the old district. That means that the library, grocery store, church, cemetery, several parks, an elementary, junior high, and high school are all within walking distance. And, of course, the city rec. center is only a half block away, too! Work out classes and equipment, an indoor track, and two pools (olympic lap pool and leisure pool w/water slide/lazy river) plus hot tub!
It is good to be reminded sometimes of the awesomeness of life that we sometimes take for granted because most of the time it just fades to the background as we go about living.
And stressing.
Sigh. (Really, I'm okay. This, too, will pass)
Showing posts with label ramblings about nothing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramblings about nothing. Show all posts
I'm a Wreck
It is ridiculous how much time has gone by without a post. Life, I guess.
There have been many times I have meant to sit down and write about something that has happened, but the moment passes and now I forget what I wanted to say. Hopefully it wasn't too important.
Summer has gone, and I feel cheated out of the best weather of the year.
I'm sick, you see.
I had Strep for a week (including the weekend), which morphed into a cold with chest congestion that has ruined yet another weekend for me. Bah humbug and harrumph. I hate being sick, but it is especially rude in late September - when we experience the most amazing and awesome weather of the year! Two perfect weekends totally ruined. I'm feeling quite bitter.
My family has taken advantage of the weather, though. Bill has been on multiple bike rides. Helena did the Electric Run at Thanksgiving Point, which looked like a cross between a 5K and a rock concert. Will took a friend with him to windsurf on the lake all day. He got an impressive sunburn.
I sat inside rubbing my nose raw on tissues.
I also missed the last week of outdoor swimming. Grrr.
Still, onward and upward, eh?
I'm starting to want to exercise again, a sure sign I'm getting better. And really, October has great hiking weather, so there's that to anticipate.
Meanwhile, I'm in physical therapy for the spot on my back that got hurt in the car accident last year. It started hurting again for no apparent reason. The doctor said that the insurance won't cover the cost of an MRI until after p/t has been done. Phooey. P/T costs a $30 copay each time I go, which is twice a week. It does not fit in the budget, but what do you do?
Man! I'm a wreck!
And Then There Was Mud
MARCH IS HERE
!!!!
That means that Spring is on its way! Hale-freaking-lujah!!!
We have been snow and ice bound for almost 3 months. With the turn of the season was are finally starting to see the ground again. It made it all the way up to 49* F yesterday and half of the snow in my yard is gone now...
... as is the ice on my driveway.
We have been driving and parking on 2-3" of solid ice all winter long. Not a pretty sheet of ice, mind you. An undulating hills-and-valleys kind of ice formed by car tires compressing all the snow. The only bare patches were the spots the cars sit on. So, when I backed into the driveway, I could tell I was in the correct spot when my car settled down into the depression formed in the ice.
Anyways, that ice is all but gone.
In its place is a puddly, boggy mess of gravel and mud.
Oh, hurray.
But, you know what? I'LL TAKE IT! I am just so thrilled to have the days above freezing! In fact, I think I'm going to go for a run... OUTSIDE! Ahhhhhhh.
!!!!
That means that Spring is on its way! Hale-freaking-lujah!!!
We have been snow and ice bound for almost 3 months. With the turn of the season was are finally starting to see the ground again. It made it all the way up to 49* F yesterday and half of the snow in my yard is gone now...
... as is the ice on my driveway.
We have been driving and parking on 2-3" of solid ice all winter long. Not a pretty sheet of ice, mind you. An undulating hills-and-valleys kind of ice formed by car tires compressing all the snow. The only bare patches were the spots the cars sit on. So, when I backed into the driveway, I could tell I was in the correct spot when my car settled down into the depression formed in the ice.
Anyways, that ice is all but gone.
In its place is a puddly, boggy mess of gravel and mud.
Oh, hurray.
But, you know what? I'LL TAKE IT! I am just so thrilled to have the days above freezing! In fact, I think I'm going to go for a run... OUTSIDE! Ahhhhhhh.
Life's Mosaic
It has been a difficult few days. It is not always fun to be the momma. Sometimes you have to be brave enough to speak hard truths even though your children may hate you for it. Hopefully, only temporary hate, though. The hope is that they will see the love behind the words and find they are still able to love their momma despite it all.
I try to keep perspective when I am feeling down and despised by someone I love. I try to remember that there are much worse things than having your child angry at you. I have faced harder things. Like the death of a loved one. I will take my child's fierce anger over that anguish any day.
We have all had good days, even great days. Days filled with laughter and sunlight and joy. They are often unexpected gifts. Just this past week I was doing who knows what upstairs and stopped just to listen to and enjoy the sound of two almost grown girls laughing together in the basement bathroom as they got ready to go out for the evening. It reminded me of so many other laughing, fun moments I have had the privilege to be witness to as my children have grown.
Life is so full of brightness. We sometimes forget that when we are struggling and down. Hard times can leave us feeling that the darkness is all there is and we start to lose hope. We can go for days, weeks, or even months or years struggling with dark and difficult times. When that happens, we begin to wonder why God has forsaken us. Why hasn't he answered our prayers? Why do we suffer in the dark?
And then I thought of something.
I thought of the moments of my life like the pieces of a mosaic. Each day of my life, each moment I live through, is a piece of that mosaic. On the good and beautiful days, I am placing a brightly colored piece in the mosaic. On hard or difficult days, I am placing a dark piece into the mosaic. As I work, I can only see one small piece of the whole artwork. Only one small portion of my life. It is easy to loose perspective when that is the case. I can't tell you how many times I have told my students to step back and look at their work from a distance... to see the whole picture and gain a new perspective.
Such it is with our lives. If we could see our lives through God's eyes... see the whole mosaic with all the light and dark pieces in their proper places... we would see a beautiful soul in the process of evolving into something wondrous and extraordinary. A mosaic of only light pieces would be bland and uninteresting. A mosaic of only dark pieces would be dreary and equally uninteresting. But the patterning of light and dark... that makes the composition stronger. And stunning to behold.
No one wants dark and difficult days. No one wants trials or tribulations. Yet, when looking back on them, we recognize their worth. I am a stronger, more empathetic person for the darkness I have overcome. I can serve and lift others who are struggling in similar ways. I am who I am because of all the experiences I have lived through; not just the happy, easy moments. In fact, it is actually the difficult times that refine character and make us stronger.
Am I asking for more dark pieces in the mosaic of my life? Absolutely not! But I recognize that there is a reason for the struggles, and a purpose and pattern to all we experience in this life.
Remember to step back from time to time and look at the bigger picture.
Seeing it can give you strength.
I try to keep perspective when I am feeling down and despised by someone I love. I try to remember that there are much worse things than having your child angry at you. I have faced harder things. Like the death of a loved one. I will take my child's fierce anger over that anguish any day.
We have all had good days, even great days. Days filled with laughter and sunlight and joy. They are often unexpected gifts. Just this past week I was doing who knows what upstairs and stopped just to listen to and enjoy the sound of two almost grown girls laughing together in the basement bathroom as they got ready to go out for the evening. It reminded me of so many other laughing, fun moments I have had the privilege to be witness to as my children have grown.
Life is so full of brightness. We sometimes forget that when we are struggling and down. Hard times can leave us feeling that the darkness is all there is and we start to lose hope. We can go for days, weeks, or even months or years struggling with dark and difficult times. When that happens, we begin to wonder why God has forsaken us. Why hasn't he answered our prayers? Why do we suffer in the dark?
And then I thought of something.
I thought of the moments of my life like the pieces of a mosaic. Each day of my life, each moment I live through, is a piece of that mosaic. On the good and beautiful days, I am placing a brightly colored piece in the mosaic. On hard or difficult days, I am placing a dark piece into the mosaic. As I work, I can only see one small piece of the whole artwork. Only one small portion of my life. It is easy to loose perspective when that is the case. I can't tell you how many times I have told my students to step back and look at their work from a distance... to see the whole picture and gain a new perspective.
Such it is with our lives. If we could see our lives through God's eyes... see the whole mosaic with all the light and dark pieces in their proper places... we would see a beautiful soul in the process of evolving into something wondrous and extraordinary. A mosaic of only light pieces would be bland and uninteresting. A mosaic of only dark pieces would be dreary and equally uninteresting. But the patterning of light and dark... that makes the composition stronger. And stunning to behold.
No one wants dark and difficult days. No one wants trials or tribulations. Yet, when looking back on them, we recognize their worth. I am a stronger, more empathetic person for the darkness I have overcome. I can serve and lift others who are struggling in similar ways. I am who I am because of all the experiences I have lived through; not just the happy, easy moments. In fact, it is actually the difficult times that refine character and make us stronger.
Am I asking for more dark pieces in the mosaic of my life? Absolutely not! But I recognize that there is a reason for the struggles, and a purpose and pattern to all we experience in this life.
Remember to step back from time to time and look at the bigger picture.
Seeing it can give you strength.
Late Teens
And, no, I am not referring to teens that are always late...
... oh, wait a minute. Yes, I am.
The late teen years (16-19) are an incredible adventure...
... for the teen.
For parents, the late teen years can be full of frustrations and expenses. Expenses? We have watched our car insurance double, our food and utility bills go up, and experienced sticker shock at gift giving times. There are school fees and technology needs (no joke). But the expenses are really just part of the experience of raising kids, and are manageable because we know they are temporary. Soon enough the kids will leave home and the expenses will drop substantially.
No, the frustrations are the part I really want to talk about.
Thinking back to when I was 16-19 years old, I still didn't really see my parents as individuals. Not yet. They were still MOM and DAD. MOM and DAD had one function only. To provide for us kids. That meant they were supposed to feed us and clothe us, take us on vacations, pay for our stuff, and nag, pester, and harass us about school/church/chores. In the meantime, it was my job to inform them of how outdated their view points were, how things were different now, and that they should just trust me and let me do whatever I wanted. [Yeah, I never convinced them of any of that, by the way.] By the time I was 19, I was pretty convinced I was all grown up. I was "An Adult", who didn't need my parents telling me when to be home or what to do.
It wasn't until I was truly an adult (meaning I had moved away and was now fully supporting myself financially) that I started seeing my parents as individuals with needs and wants that really had NOTHING to do with their kids whatsoever! Woah! And I didn't empathize with my parents' struggles with teen aged kids until I had teens of my own. So, I don't expect my kids to understand or empathize with me anytime soon.
Still, it would be nice.
Where is all of this rambling-ness going, you ask?
I just really, really want my daughter to be courteous and come home at a reasonable hour on weeknights. Not stay out til midnight or later because she doesn't work until evening shift and can sleep in the next day. Great for her, crappy for me. I do have to go to work in the morning and would like to have a good night's sleep.
Just give her a curfew, you say? Yeah. Nineteen is a difficult age for that. She feels she has a right to stay out as late as she wants. And really, if she was living in an apartment with roommates, she could. But she is not living in an apartment. She is living at home.
She has told me to just go to bed and not wait up for her. My response to that is simply that just because she is being selfish doesn't mean I am going to be selfish. You see, I wait up because I love her. I wait up to make sure I don't sleep right through a call for help. I wait up to remind her that she is not an island. Her actions do affect those around her who care about her.
It is true that apartment living with roommates is much more "freeing". But roommates don't wait up for you... because they don't love you. It doesn't matter to them one way or the other if you make it back home again in one piece. That sounds callous. Of course, they'll care. After the fact. After something disastrous happens. But they won't stay up waiting for a phone call that tells them you need help. Someday, she'll have a spouse who will wait up for her, because he will love her and not want to go to bed until he knows she is home safe.
I know she'll move out sometime soon, if only to feel that freedom of having no one care enough to wait up for her. It feels so liberating, at first. But, really, it can be incredibly lonely. I remember living in an apartment with 5 other girls and feeling severely depressed and homesick because no one truly loved me in that apartment. I didn't realize that was the reason for the homesickness, at the time. I just knew I was miserable and lonely in a house full of other people.
Until the day she moves out, it is my job to love her enough to want to wait up to see her safely home. And care enough about her to hear about her adventures.
I just wish she could see me more as an individual who needs a good night sleep before I go to work and less like MOM who has outdated points of view. I know she loves MOM. I just wish that she loved Kate enough to come home early on weeknights.
My Awesome Car is Back!
I drove the weenie-mobile for nearly a month. I got my Explorer back the other day, just in time for a snow storm! Hurray!
During the weenie-mobile month, I came up with three reasons why I love my own car. They are Size, Technology, and Arm Rests.
Size does matter. In cars, anyways. I was always sort of embarrassed when walking up to that weenie car. One day this past week, when I arrived at school, I pulled into a parking stall between two SUVs. One of my students saw me get out of my rental car as he rode his bike to school and he said; "Hey, you're right, Mrs. Watson! That car is tiny!" Yup. Even a 10 year old thinks it's weenie.
But, before you think I am totally vain, it's not all about looks! That weenie car vibrated and thrummed to the very texture of the road surface. It was noisy and obnoxious! My Explorer is such a smooth and quiet ride in comparison! And, as I mentioned, I got my car back just in time for a snow storm. I much prefer having my heavy all wheel drive instead of that lightweight little thing.
Technology. You don't realize how much you rely on it until you feel its absence. I have come to rely on the buttons on my steering wheel to control the radio and my phone. I love that my phone is synced to my car! If my phone rings while I am driving, I can answer it with the push of a button on the steering wheel and the call is routed through the car's speakers. Bill and I came up with a code phrase to let him know he was on the car speaker system while I had passengers to make sure he didn't share something not meant for other's ears. I just answer the phone by saying, "Hi, Bill, you're live." The phone sync also means I can push a button and tell the car to call someone specific. The car will connect to my phone and dial for me. Complete hands free phone access!
With the phone sync I can also choose to play my own music rather than listen to the radio. I can tell the car to play a specific song, artist, genre, or playlist. Handy on long road trips for those of us who aren't willing to pay for satellite radio.
I also missed the sunroof. One whole month of perfect sunroof weather completely wasted! Phooey.
Arm Rests. You don't think much about them until you don't have them anymore! The weenie-mobile didn't have any and I was constantly at a loss over what to do with my elbows. I wanted something to rest them on. Bill doesn't like the armrests in the Explorer, because they are at the wrong height for him and he is constantly banging his elbows on them. But, they are just the right height for my elbows!
All in all, I am very happy to have my car back!
During the weenie-mobile month, I came up with three reasons why I love my own car. They are Size, Technology, and Arm Rests.
Size does matter. In cars, anyways. I was always sort of embarrassed when walking up to that weenie car. One day this past week, when I arrived at school, I pulled into a parking stall between two SUVs. One of my students saw me get out of my rental car as he rode his bike to school and he said; "Hey, you're right, Mrs. Watson! That car is tiny!" Yup. Even a 10 year old thinks it's weenie.
But, before you think I am totally vain, it's not all about looks! That weenie car vibrated and thrummed to the very texture of the road surface. It was noisy and obnoxious! My Explorer is such a smooth and quiet ride in comparison! And, as I mentioned, I got my car back just in time for a snow storm. I much prefer having my heavy all wheel drive instead of that lightweight little thing.
Technology. You don't realize how much you rely on it until you feel its absence. I have come to rely on the buttons on my steering wheel to control the radio and my phone. I love that my phone is synced to my car! If my phone rings while I am driving, I can answer it with the push of a button on the steering wheel and the call is routed through the car's speakers. Bill and I came up with a code phrase to let him know he was on the car speaker system while I had passengers to make sure he didn't share something not meant for other's ears. I just answer the phone by saying, "Hi, Bill, you're live." The phone sync also means I can push a button and tell the car to call someone specific. The car will connect to my phone and dial for me. Complete hands free phone access!
With the phone sync I can also choose to play my own music rather than listen to the radio. I can tell the car to play a specific song, artist, genre, or playlist. Handy on long road trips for those of us who aren't willing to pay for satellite radio.
I also missed the sunroof. One whole month of perfect sunroof weather completely wasted! Phooey.
Arm Rests. You don't think much about them until you don't have them anymore! The weenie-mobile didn't have any and I was constantly at a loss over what to do with my elbows. I wanted something to rest them on. Bill doesn't like the armrests in the Explorer, because they are at the wrong height for him and he is constantly banging his elbows on them. But, they are just the right height for my elbows!
All in all, I am very happy to have my car back!
Politics
I am really no good at politics. They are too hot headed for me. No matter how much you might think you know about any given politically charged topic, someone you know will try to 'set you straight' by hurling their own set of facts at you, usually damaging a friendship in the process.
You see, it is easy to get any manner of facts to support your particular spin on the lodestone topics involved. So, no matter what your personal take, you can find some article, some link, some incendiary set of facts to try to cram down other people's throats in the hope that they either see the error of their ways or choke on it.
So I try to steer well clear of it.
However, I cannot just pretend that politics don't exist. Oh, I wish that were so. But, try as I might to avoid them, I can't ignore the fact that we just had one of the most divisive elections in history. And the truth is, I do have opinions on things!
The one part of President Obama's administration that has had an immediate impact on my life is the health care act he sponsored. I have had the same health insurance for 13 years, now. For 12 years, it was rock solid, dependable, and all around awesome. Suddenly, with Obamacare, my insurance went from awesome to terrible. Our out of pocket expenses went up. Our coverage went down. I now have high deductibles for both medical and pharmaceuticals, forcing me to shell out nearly $1,000 in additional medical costs in the past 2 months alone on top of my really high premiums. The premiums are so high that the only monthly bill that is higher is our mortgage! It may be selfish of me, but I am not happy to know that I am now poorer so that other people can have some form of coverage. I worked hard to earn a degree. I worked hard to get a job with decent benefits. We weren't well off to begin with, either. Now we are struggling.
I was disturbed by the events of September 11th, 2012. In a nutshell, on the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, a small group of terrorists attacked the US consulate in Benghazi, Libya, killing 4 Americans, including the US Ambassador, Chris Stevens. The terrorists claimed to be acting out of anger and retribution over some anti Muslim video created by an American. Rather than stand up for our citizens in the consulate, sending in troops, and demanding justice be done upon the terrorists responsible, President Obama apologized to the world for our First Amendment right to freedom of speech.
I haven't seen the video in question and it is probably ignorant and offensive. But the freedom to speak is not just the freedom to speak wisely and for the good of mankind. The First Amendment also protects the right to speak ignorantly. Imagine this as a playground disagreement. Bubba Ray says something ignorant and dumb to Sa'if. Sa'if turns to Sam and pushes him down and stomps on his head. Do we apologize to little Sa'if for Bobby being so ignorant? Or is there a more critical problem on this playground? Now, let's imagine that for some reason, we saw the whole thing coming. We knew Sa'if was about to push Sam down and stomp on his head, but we stood by and did nothing? In essence, that is what happened. There was advanced intelligence that something was brewing in Benghazi. Prior to the attack, the Marines had asked for reinforcements, and were denied.
I know there are lots of issues and hot topics out there that sway people politically. For me, these were the two that weighed most heavily for me.
I voted for Mitt Romney.
No, not because we share a religion. I don't really care what denomination our Commander-in-Chief adheres to. It does matter to me that he (or she) believes in God and prays for divine inspiration. However, I'm leery of President Obama because I am just not sure if he even believes there is a God. That is not why I voted for the other guy, though.
I voted for Mitt Romney because I believe that what our country needs is a successful businessman as a leader. Our country needs to work hard to get out of debt. Our country needs a strong economic leader. I saw what Mr. Romney did to save the 2002 Olympic Games. The games (held right in my back yard, as it were) were mired in scandal, debt, and corruption. It was a massive embarrassment for America on the world stage. Mitt Romney was called in to fix the problem. He did. I remember people screamed about it at first, but everyone was overjoyed when, within a year, he had turned it around and made the Olympics successful, profitable, and an American success story. This is one fact I know because I watched it unfold right in front of me.
It has been amazing to me all the bitter attacks against Mr. Romney over his wealth and his taxes. People seemed truly incensed that he had so much money and paid "so little" in taxes.
I can't help but wonder if all those angry people, at tax time, sit down and say, "Gee, I could use the tax code to legally reduce my tax burden but I'm not going to. I think I will pay more than I am legally bound to, because it is just the right thing to do!"
So, really, in this case, their anger is misplaced. They shouldn't be angry at Mr. Romney for using the current tax code to his advantage (something that we ALL do as much as we are able), but rather, they should be upset WITH THE TAX CODE ITSELF. Which, of course, Mr. Romney did not write. Personally, I think the entire tax code should be abolished and a flat tax imposed. Say, 5% for personal income tax. Rich or poor. Just pay 5%. No loopholes. No deductions. No tax credits. You made $1,000 this year? Pay $50 in taxes. $100,000? Pay $5,000. Businesses and corporations could pay a flat tax of 8-15% based on how much they keep their company off the grid. Use less non-renewable natural resources? Move down the % scale on tax burden.
I'm sure this outlook is overly simplistic and I probably know someone that would shoot it down and go into great detail about why it would never work. Which is why I usually just keep my mouth shut about anything with even a whiff of political stink.
Or how about this one? "Gosh, I sure do seem to have too much money. I think I will just give it all away no one can blame me for being wealthy."
Since when did it become a crime to be rich? I may be wrong, but I grew up playing Life, where we were all striving to make it to Millionaire Estates. Did I miss the memo? Are we not all trying to reach financial independence and wealth anymore? That's what I still daydream about. Mr. Romney has managed to get to "Millionaire Estates" in the real game of Life; he didn't inherit his money, and he earned it legally. I guess we just have a bunch of sore losers in this country who figure he doesn't deserve his wealth because we haven't made it to Millionaire Estates ourselves.
But, really, none of this matters, because he was not elected. President Obama was re-elected. Yet our country is still very divided. Half the country wished it was the other guy.
I won't talk or write about politics any more (until the next election cycle, that is). There is lots more I could express my opinion on, but this has been quite long winded enough as it is. So I will let it rest.
Still, I hope and pray for better tomorrows. And I will pray for our President. But I am worried, even if I don't talk about it.
You see, it is easy to get any manner of facts to support your particular spin on the lodestone topics involved. So, no matter what your personal take, you can find some article, some link, some incendiary set of facts to try to cram down other people's throats in the hope that they either see the error of their ways or choke on it.
So I try to steer well clear of it.
However, I cannot just pretend that politics don't exist. Oh, I wish that were so. But, try as I might to avoid them, I can't ignore the fact that we just had one of the most divisive elections in history. And the truth is, I do have opinions on things!
The one part of President Obama's administration that has had an immediate impact on my life is the health care act he sponsored. I have had the same health insurance for 13 years, now. For 12 years, it was rock solid, dependable, and all around awesome. Suddenly, with Obamacare, my insurance went from awesome to terrible. Our out of pocket expenses went up. Our coverage went down. I now have high deductibles for both medical and pharmaceuticals, forcing me to shell out nearly $1,000 in additional medical costs in the past 2 months alone on top of my really high premiums. The premiums are so high that the only monthly bill that is higher is our mortgage! It may be selfish of me, but I am not happy to know that I am now poorer so that other people can have some form of coverage. I worked hard to earn a degree. I worked hard to get a job with decent benefits. We weren't well off to begin with, either. Now we are struggling.
I was disturbed by the events of September 11th, 2012. In a nutshell, on the anniversary of the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, a small group of terrorists attacked the US consulate in Benghazi, Libya, killing 4 Americans, including the US Ambassador, Chris Stevens. The terrorists claimed to be acting out of anger and retribution over some anti Muslim video created by an American. Rather than stand up for our citizens in the consulate, sending in troops, and demanding justice be done upon the terrorists responsible, President Obama apologized to the world for our First Amendment right to freedom of speech.
I haven't seen the video in question and it is probably ignorant and offensive. But the freedom to speak is not just the freedom to speak wisely and for the good of mankind. The First Amendment also protects the right to speak ignorantly. Imagine this as a playground disagreement. Bubba Ray says something ignorant and dumb to Sa'if. Sa'if turns to Sam and pushes him down and stomps on his head. Do we apologize to little Sa'if for Bobby being so ignorant? Or is there a more critical problem on this playground? Now, let's imagine that for some reason, we saw the whole thing coming. We knew Sa'if was about to push Sam down and stomp on his head, but we stood by and did nothing? In essence, that is what happened. There was advanced intelligence that something was brewing in Benghazi. Prior to the attack, the Marines had asked for reinforcements, and were denied.
I know there are lots of issues and hot topics out there that sway people politically. For me, these were the two that weighed most heavily for me.
I voted for Mitt Romney.
No, not because we share a religion. I don't really care what denomination our Commander-in-Chief adheres to. It does matter to me that he (or she) believes in God and prays for divine inspiration. However, I'm leery of President Obama because I am just not sure if he even believes there is a God. That is not why I voted for the other guy, though.
I voted for Mitt Romney because I believe that what our country needs is a successful businessman as a leader. Our country needs to work hard to get out of debt. Our country needs a strong economic leader. I saw what Mr. Romney did to save the 2002 Olympic Games. The games (held right in my back yard, as it were) were mired in scandal, debt, and corruption. It was a massive embarrassment for America on the world stage. Mitt Romney was called in to fix the problem. He did. I remember people screamed about it at first, but everyone was overjoyed when, within a year, he had turned it around and made the Olympics successful, profitable, and an American success story. This is one fact I know because I watched it unfold right in front of me.
It has been amazing to me all the bitter attacks against Mr. Romney over his wealth and his taxes. People seemed truly incensed that he had so much money and paid "so little" in taxes.
I can't help but wonder if all those angry people, at tax time, sit down and say, "Gee, I could use the tax code to legally reduce my tax burden but I'm not going to. I think I will pay more than I am legally bound to, because it is just the right thing to do!"
So, really, in this case, their anger is misplaced. They shouldn't be angry at Mr. Romney for using the current tax code to his advantage (something that we ALL do as much as we are able), but rather, they should be upset WITH THE TAX CODE ITSELF. Which, of course, Mr. Romney did not write. Personally, I think the entire tax code should be abolished and a flat tax imposed. Say, 5% for personal income tax. Rich or poor. Just pay 5%. No loopholes. No deductions. No tax credits. You made $1,000 this year? Pay $50 in taxes. $100,000? Pay $5,000. Businesses and corporations could pay a flat tax of 8-15% based on how much they keep their company off the grid. Use less non-renewable natural resources? Move down the % scale on tax burden.
I'm sure this outlook is overly simplistic and I probably know someone that would shoot it down and go into great detail about why it would never work. Which is why I usually just keep my mouth shut about anything with even a whiff of political stink.
Or how about this one? "Gosh, I sure do seem to have too much money. I think I will just give it all away no one can blame me for being wealthy."
Since when did it become a crime to be rich? I may be wrong, but I grew up playing Life, where we were all striving to make it to Millionaire Estates. Did I miss the memo? Are we not all trying to reach financial independence and wealth anymore? That's what I still daydream about. Mr. Romney has managed to get to "Millionaire Estates" in the real game of Life; he didn't inherit his money, and he earned it legally. I guess we just have a bunch of sore losers in this country who figure he doesn't deserve his wealth because we haven't made it to Millionaire Estates ourselves.
But, really, none of this matters, because he was not elected. President Obama was re-elected. Yet our country is still very divided. Half the country wished it was the other guy.
I won't talk or write about politics any more (until the next election cycle, that is). There is lots more I could express my opinion on, but this has been quite long winded enough as it is. So I will let it rest.
Still, I hope and pray for better tomorrows. And I will pray for our President. But I am worried, even if I don't talk about it.
Anything that can go wrong...
You know the saying.
This is a grump-fest post. Please don't feel like you need to cheer me up or anything. Sometimes I just need to write down some of the stuff banging around in my head to make it stop bothering me. Believe me, once I finish this post, I will feel lots better and I'll be able to move on cheerfully. First, though, a rant.
Why is it that bad stuff all happens a once? I mean, really?!
This is a grump-fest post. Please don't feel like you need to cheer me up or anything. Sometimes I just need to write down some of the stuff banging around in my head to make it stop bothering me. Believe me, once I finish this post, I will feel lots better and I'll be able to move on cheerfully. First, though, a rant.
Why is it that bad stuff all happens a once? I mean, really?!
- You already know my new car is in the body shop getting plastic surgery after an unfortunate incident that messed up its tail end. Still not back.
- You also already know I hate my weenie-mobile rental car. Now more than ever for reasons about to be revealed.
- Monday, Will drove to school and accidentally left the parking lights on in the Expedition, which killed the battery. Dead as a doornail (what a weird phrase!). Do you know how long it takes to use a weenie-mobile battery to jump start a big beastly Expedition battery? A little over 40 minutes. Since we were in the mostly empty school parking lot... no sweat.
- This morning, while Will was driving to school, the Expedition suddenly lost power everything (steering and electrics), then died on him when he managed to get it pulled mostly onto the side of the road. He was blocking the right turn lane, but at least he was out of the middle of the road, right?
- Automotive gymnastics was not on my to-do list today, but I still managed to get the weenie-mobile nose to nose with the Expedition despite all the other drivers on the road looking at me like I'd lost my mind. Oh, and to get the full visual, be sure to put me in pajamas!
- Trying to jump start an elephant like the Expedition with a mouse like the weenie-mobile in the middle of traffic during morning rush hour? Not on my list of fun activities for the day. It didn't work, of course, because we didn't have 40 minutes to sit around and wait for a big enough charge to build up.
- Don't you think tow companies are in the business of coming to the rescue of stranded motorists? If you thought so, you'd be as wrong as I was. I was told by two different companies that they "didn't have time to come out to tow my car".
- I can feel more expenses coming on with these new car troubles.
- Helena's phone is on the blink (it only works sporadically at this point), so she missed the text from her boss telling her that the shifts had been changed and why wasn't she at work today?
- Helena also managed to fall on the stairs today while home alone and is now sporting wicked scabs and bruises all over her legs and feet. (I am truly glad it wasn't worse! What if she'd broken a leg while all alone at home! Poor girl.)
- Will's friend, Dallan, actually DID break his leg yesterday. He'll require surgery that sidelines him for the entire skiing season. Poor boy! Dallan is Will's best skiing buddy, so I know Will's bummed, too.
- Will has been given an "Unexcused Absence" by his English teacher for leaving class early. That freezes his grade until he goes to Attendance School TWICE. An unexcused absence is considered a sluff and carries double penalty. Each attendance school session costs $5.
- I've had a dead toe nail ever since the half Ironman back in August. Could it just fall off already?!?
- And to top it all of? I HAVE A STUPID COLD SORE! Gah!
See. I feel better already.
PS: I do need to say this...
As Will and I were stuck on the side of the road, desperately trying to figure out how to get out of the way of traffic and get the dumb Expedition back home, Liz M (Bill's niece) happened to drive by in her (nicer, newer, better-er) Expedition and asked if we needed a tow!
!!!!
Hooray for Liz!!!!
I sent Will home in the rental while I rode in our Expedition as Liz towed it back home. She was my life saver this morning and completely turned a disastrous situation around!!! (Note to self: I was very impressed that Liz just happened to have a tow rope in her car. I should get one and put it in my car, just in case...... whenever I get my car back, that is)
PPS: I also need to say this...
When Bill got home from work this evening, he used his gargantuan work truck to jump start the Expedition and then left them hooked up charging the battery for a couple of hours. That should keep the Expedition running until Saturday, when he can take it in to have the battery and alternator checked.
PPPS: Really, I'm just about done...
Can you tell that some of my rants are just silly? Those are my way of humorizing my life. If you can't laugh at yourself, life is pretty grim.
The Weenie-Mobile Syndrome
I got a rental car when I took my Explorer into the shop for repairs.
It would be nice if they gave me something comparable to what I drive. Some small to mid-sized SUV, like that awesome Jeep Grand Cherokee the rental company gave me for a week after the Alero got totaled. That thing was NICE! But, of course, the only reason they gave me such a nice rental that time around is that they made a mistake and upgraded me as an apology. This time, since there were no mistakes, I got the cheap "weenie-mobile" rental that is covered by insurance.
Harrumph.
It is a Mazda2. When Bill got home on the first night we had it, he laughingly pointed out that he'd had no idea that Mazda made anything smaller than the Mazda3. He jokingly asked why I didn't just get the Mazda1.5? Ha ha, funny man.
This car is seriously small. It is rather ridiculous that it actually has 4 doors. Looking at it, it doesn't look like there is enough room under the hood to actually house a motor, and the "boot" is nearly non-existent. But it gets me from point A to point B, so I guess it will have to do until my car comes back home.
I have noticed an interesting phenomenon while driving it, however. I call it "The Weenie-Mobile Syndrome".
I drive the same roads to and from work every day. I drive the same speeds that I have been accustomed to driving in my Explorer, except now I am in a little fluff of a car. The difference is, now everyone is blasting past me like I am some annoying little bug in their way! When I am in my Explorer (going the exact same speeds on the exact same roads, mind you), no one tries to pass me... in fact, I am the one passing others right and left! (I may have forgotten to mention that I drive on the fast side of the speed limit; just under the cop's "Holy Crap! I've got to stop that maniac!" tolerance levels)
Since I have not changed my driving habits, I can only conclude that people react differently around "Weenie-Mobiles" than they do around SUVs. I told Bill about this, and he said "Now you know how I feel!"
He drives a LARGE work truck. Something in between a large dually and a semi tractor in size.
Think about your driving habits around large work trucks. Don't you hustle to get in front of them in order to avoid having to stop behind them at a light? I admit, I am guilty of it. Bill says people cut him off ALL THE TIME. But, I hadn't realized that people are contemptuous of little "weenie-mobiles" and it shows up in their driving.
It's a good thing this is temporary. I can't wait to get my own car back!
The Dark Side of an Overactive Imagination
An active imagination is a wonderful thing. An overactive imagination, however...
I have always been blessed (cursed?) with an overactive imagination. Occasionally, I'll get lost inside my head. Others can tell when this happens because I will just stand there, immobile, and seem to gaze directly through them. I know it creeped out a few people back in my school days. Several times my kids have walked in on me, standing still as a statue in the middle of a room, doing seemingly absolutely nothing. What I am doing, of course, is re-ordering the entire universe in my head. I may just be working out a storyline I think may be entertaining (though I'll never write it), or reworking the remodel blueprints in my head and adding further details to my internal house o'dreams. Or, as is often the case, I am working through the alternative realities that would have existed had I made various different choices throughout the course of my life instead of the path I am currently following. It is really mind blowing to think of where I might be and who I could have become, if only I had zigged instead of zagged at some critical juncture in life!
None of that is particularly harmful, however.
No, the dark side of an overactive imagination comes from thinking through all the possible outcomes of what is going on in life RIGHT NOW. Instead of being content with just the positive outcomes in life, my mind has to pursue EVERY outcome to its potentially gruesome and bitter end. I end up with some pretty morbid thoughts.
I have probably imagined every possible horror a parent could face. It is ridiculous to borrow trouble, and I'll admit that my husband laughs at me with puzzlement (and a bit of disgust) when I manage to reduce myself to tears over an imagined tragic ending to someone I hold dear. It makes it doubly hard to let go of my children and allow them to experience the world, when my mind is parading every possible end result of their adventures to my overactive and oversensitive imagination.
And don't you worry, I do not only imagine the worst for my loved ones. I do not spare myself, either. I feel rather embarrassed to admit it, but I have imagined my own death countless times.
This would seem really kind of depressing and mentally disturbing, except that my mind is not a one way street. It imagines in both directions. So, while I imagine the worst, I also imagine the best! I try to channel that positive side as much as possible, but I can't seem to let go of the dark side. Overall, I'd say that the positive far exceeds the negative in my thoughts. After all, reality sides with the positive nearly always. Have you noticed that? At least, in the little daily moments of a personal life. Don't focus on the headlines. Focus on your own life and you will find it filled with beauty and wonder.
And if you are like me, with an overactive imagination that sometimes drags you through the dark side of things, use it to your advantage! Use it as a catalyst to make you act. Remind those around you that you love them every moment of every day. Do not be afraid to reach out, smile, or touch someone else near you with love and friendship. Don't allow yourself to procrastinate on your hopes and dreams. Get out there now and chase them down until they become your reality! After all, as your imagination reminds you, there may be no tomorrow. Now is all we have.
Don't waste it.
I have always been blessed (cursed?) with an overactive imagination. Occasionally, I'll get lost inside my head. Others can tell when this happens because I will just stand there, immobile, and seem to gaze directly through them. I know it creeped out a few people back in my school days. Several times my kids have walked in on me, standing still as a statue in the middle of a room, doing seemingly absolutely nothing. What I am doing, of course, is re-ordering the entire universe in my head. I may just be working out a storyline I think may be entertaining (though I'll never write it), or reworking the remodel blueprints in my head and adding further details to my internal house o'dreams. Or, as is often the case, I am working through the alternative realities that would have existed had I made various different choices throughout the course of my life instead of the path I am currently following. It is really mind blowing to think of where I might be and who I could have become, if only I had zigged instead of zagged at some critical juncture in life!
None of that is particularly harmful, however.
No, the dark side of an overactive imagination comes from thinking through all the possible outcomes of what is going on in life RIGHT NOW. Instead of being content with just the positive outcomes in life, my mind has to pursue EVERY outcome to its potentially gruesome and bitter end. I end up with some pretty morbid thoughts.
I have probably imagined every possible horror a parent could face. It is ridiculous to borrow trouble, and I'll admit that my husband laughs at me with puzzlement (and a bit of disgust) when I manage to reduce myself to tears over an imagined tragic ending to someone I hold dear. It makes it doubly hard to let go of my children and allow them to experience the world, when my mind is parading every possible end result of their adventures to my overactive and oversensitive imagination.
And don't you worry, I do not only imagine the worst for my loved ones. I do not spare myself, either. I feel rather embarrassed to admit it, but I have imagined my own death countless times.
This would seem really kind of depressing and mentally disturbing, except that my mind is not a one way street. It imagines in both directions. So, while I imagine the worst, I also imagine the best! I try to channel that positive side as much as possible, but I can't seem to let go of the dark side. Overall, I'd say that the positive far exceeds the negative in my thoughts. After all, reality sides with the positive nearly always. Have you noticed that? At least, in the little daily moments of a personal life. Don't focus on the headlines. Focus on your own life and you will find it filled with beauty and wonder.
And if you are like me, with an overactive imagination that sometimes drags you through the dark side of things, use it to your advantage! Use it as a catalyst to make you act. Remind those around you that you love them every moment of every day. Do not be afraid to reach out, smile, or touch someone else near you with love and friendship. Don't allow yourself to procrastinate on your hopes and dreams. Get out there now and chase them down until they become your reality! After all, as your imagination reminds you, there may be no tomorrow. Now is all we have.
Don't waste it.
Financial Frustrations
Funny that I would write about something stressful right after posting about how worry free my summers are. I wish summer was strong enough and magical enough to prevent bad stuff from happening. Still, coming at this from a stress free place has made it easier for me to deal with it in an almost Zen like calm.
Yesterday morning, Bill woke me with breakfast in bed of eggs and orange juice. We planned to go on a bike ride together and he is always up before me. In his perfect world, we would have left on our bike ride at 5:30 a.m. while it is still cool out. In MY perfect world, we'd lazily sleep in until 9 or 10, then head out in perfectly cool weather to enjoy our ride. His perfect world coincides with reality a lot more often than mine does. However, yesterday, I got lucky. It was overcast and breezy, making our late morning bike ride very pleasant. We even enjoyed some light summer rain on the return trip.
We followed the contour of the east side of the lake, passing by both American Fork and Lindon boat harbors before reaching our turn around point at the Provo boat harbor. There is a lot of farm land around the lake, so it is a very pretty ride. We ended up going 36 miles.
On our way home, Bill casually mentioned that we needed to stop by the bank, presumably to explain why he was choosing more high traffic roads. When I asked why we needed the bank on a Saturday morning, he told me that he got a phone call this morning from Visa telling us that our debit card had been compromised, unless we had purchased lunch in Great Britain that morning. Definitely not. There were a couple of other unauthorized charges, including the incorporation of a business. Weird. Bill wanted to wait until after our bike ride to tell me so it didn't ruin our ride. Probably a good idea, because I might have felt like I had to cancel the ride to deal with it. Instead, I was in a very good, relaxed mood when he told me.
Can I tell you how fun it was to go through the bank drive through on our bicycles? No, really. It was a hoot! Cars in front and behind us. I felt like one of those people. The crazy athletic healthy ones.
Anyways, there wasn't much to be done about the debit card. Other than spend the afternoon pouring over receipts and comparing them to my account online to see which ones processed before the block hit the account, and which ones were going to hit the block. Ugh. There were NINE transactions that didn't make it. Why do these things always seem to happen on the weekend that you go shopping? I called all 9 companies and explained the situation. They were all very sympathetic and appreciative of the call. Hopefully, on Monday I can get it all straightened out.
The other financial frustration came in the mail on Friday. A big fat bill from the physical therapist office for over $1,000.00. A bill that was supposed to be paid by the car insurance. So now I have to call the P/T and the insurance to get this straightened out. One more thing to deal with because someone else was a bad driver.
And all of this hits right as the Steel Days Art Show is about to kick off. I'll have to squeeze in visits to the bank and phone calls to insurance and the P/T into the small parts of my day not already taken up by set up, registration, and hanging the show.
At least it is still summer, right?
Yesterday morning, Bill woke me with breakfast in bed of eggs and orange juice. We planned to go on a bike ride together and he is always up before me. In his perfect world, we would have left on our bike ride at 5:30 a.m. while it is still cool out. In MY perfect world, we'd lazily sleep in until 9 or 10, then head out in perfectly cool weather to enjoy our ride. His perfect world coincides with reality a lot more often than mine does. However, yesterday, I got lucky. It was overcast and breezy, making our late morning bike ride very pleasant. We even enjoyed some light summer rain on the return trip.
We followed the contour of the east side of the lake, passing by both American Fork and Lindon boat harbors before reaching our turn around point at the Provo boat harbor. There is a lot of farm land around the lake, so it is a very pretty ride. We ended up going 36 miles.
On our way home, Bill casually mentioned that we needed to stop by the bank, presumably to explain why he was choosing more high traffic roads. When I asked why we needed the bank on a Saturday morning, he told me that he got a phone call this morning from Visa telling us that our debit card had been compromised, unless we had purchased lunch in Great Britain that morning. Definitely not. There were a couple of other unauthorized charges, including the incorporation of a business. Weird. Bill wanted to wait until after our bike ride to tell me so it didn't ruin our ride. Probably a good idea, because I might have felt like I had to cancel the ride to deal with it. Instead, I was in a very good, relaxed mood when he told me.
Can I tell you how fun it was to go through the bank drive through on our bicycles? No, really. It was a hoot! Cars in front and behind us. I felt like one of those people. The crazy athletic healthy ones.
Anyways, there wasn't much to be done about the debit card. Other than spend the afternoon pouring over receipts and comparing them to my account online to see which ones processed before the block hit the account, and which ones were going to hit the block. Ugh. There were NINE transactions that didn't make it. Why do these things always seem to happen on the weekend that you go shopping? I called all 9 companies and explained the situation. They were all very sympathetic and appreciative of the call. Hopefully, on Monday I can get it all straightened out.
The other financial frustration came in the mail on Friday. A big fat bill from the physical therapist office for over $1,000.00. A bill that was supposed to be paid by the car insurance. So now I have to call the P/T and the insurance to get this straightened out. One more thing to deal with because someone else was a bad driver.
And all of this hits right as the Steel Days Art Show is about to kick off. I'll have to squeeze in visits to the bank and phone calls to insurance and the P/T into the small parts of my day not already taken up by set up, registration, and hanging the show.
At least it is still summer, right?
Summer
There are two versions of me. For most of the year, I keep to a fairly strict schedule. I do my hair and makeup. I even dress well. You know, making an effort to look like a professional, grown up, well put together person. That version of me gets up to an alarm every morning, works hard all day, and falls into bed at night exhausted, but pleased with the many things that were accomplished during the day.
The other version of me only exists during the summer months. June, July, and most of August. For nearly 12 weeks each year, I transform into someone else.
In the summer, there are no alarm clocks. I will get up early if I feel like it, but most of the time, I sleep in. Before I go any farther, I feel I need to throw in a caveat... This is where I am in my life now. This has been a long time coming, however. For many years, my sleep patterns and schedules were dictated by the needs of my children. I know I have friends and family who automatically roll their eyes when I say I sleep in as late as I want to. You who are still in the young children phase are saying, "yeah, right! As if my children would LET me sleep in!"
I hear you. I have been there. Done that. And I am here now telling you that there is an end in sight! There will come a day when your children no longer jolt you awake at 6 a.m. (or earlier) by pouncing on you and asking, "what's for breakfast?" In fact, someday, your children will grumble if you dare to try and wake them before noon.
So. Back to summer!
Most summers I do have a loose resolution list. Things I hope to accomplish. One summer I stripped the paint and stain off several of the old doors in this house and re-stained, varnished, and hung them. (There are still more to do.) Another summer I sanded and painted the outside window trim and painted the exterior doors red. (Again, still more to do.) You get the picture. This year is no exception. However, this summer, my resolution list is all about me. Get in shape. Train for a triathlon. That's it... So, other than my workout(s) for the day, I have no other ambitions or goals.
Nope.
None. Nada. Zip.
I wear a lot of exercise clothes. And swim suits. And just lounge around clothes. I don't care if they match or even look attractive on me. I wear makeup about once a week, if that. More often than not, my hair is piled up on my head and clamped down with a great big claw clip, or yanked back in a pony tail. Half the time it is wet from the pool, the lake, or the shower. My summer time perfume is a combo of chlorine and sunscreen. My skin is darkening despite the 50 SPF I wear daily. My hair is bleaching out.
And I am very happy.
As I said, I have no definite schedules. I have the time to soak in all the sights, sounds, and smells of summer.
I love the sound of lawn mowers and sprinklers. The sound of a little league game at the nearby park. Children's laughter drifting through the neighborhood. The sound of a train whistle in the distance on a summer evening. I love to listen to the crickets at night.
I love the smell of fresh cut grass, chlorine from the pool, and fresh summer rain on hot pavement.
I love going to the lake and watching my son windsurf, or lounging at the pool with my daughter and catching up on all her news. I love sitting in my back yard and watching the dragonflies dance. I love falling into a trance as I watch the birch wood slowly burn to glowing embers in the fire pit. I love pondering a midnight blue sky full of stars while a gentle summer breeze caresses me.
I love that I can spend an entire afternoon buried in a book and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
No cares. No worries.
Or, at least, all cares and worries put on hold. Time seems to stand still for just a little bit and the days run together into a blaze of sunshine and glory. Just for a little while, I feel young again.
And that is a very good thing.
The other version of me only exists during the summer months. June, July, and most of August. For nearly 12 weeks each year, I transform into someone else.
In the summer, there are no alarm clocks. I will get up early if I feel like it, but most of the time, I sleep in. Before I go any farther, I feel I need to throw in a caveat... This is where I am in my life now. This has been a long time coming, however. For many years, my sleep patterns and schedules were dictated by the needs of my children. I know I have friends and family who automatically roll their eyes when I say I sleep in as late as I want to. You who are still in the young children phase are saying, "yeah, right! As if my children would LET me sleep in!"
I hear you. I have been there. Done that. And I am here now telling you that there is an end in sight! There will come a day when your children no longer jolt you awake at 6 a.m. (or earlier) by pouncing on you and asking, "what's for breakfast?" In fact, someday, your children will grumble if you dare to try and wake them before noon.
So. Back to summer!
Most summers I do have a loose resolution list. Things I hope to accomplish. One summer I stripped the paint and stain off several of the old doors in this house and re-stained, varnished, and hung them. (There are still more to do.) Another summer I sanded and painted the outside window trim and painted the exterior doors red. (Again, still more to do.) You get the picture. This year is no exception. However, this summer, my resolution list is all about me. Get in shape. Train for a triathlon. That's it... So, other than my workout(s) for the day, I have no other ambitions or goals.
Nope.
None. Nada. Zip.
I wear a lot of exercise clothes. And swim suits. And just lounge around clothes. I don't care if they match or even look attractive on me. I wear makeup about once a week, if that. More often than not, my hair is piled up on my head and clamped down with a great big claw clip, or yanked back in a pony tail. Half the time it is wet from the pool, the lake, or the shower. My summer time perfume is a combo of chlorine and sunscreen. My skin is darkening despite the 50 SPF I wear daily. My hair is bleaching out.
And I am very happy.
As I said, I have no definite schedules. I have the time to soak in all the sights, sounds, and smells of summer.
I love the sound of lawn mowers and sprinklers. The sound of a little league game at the nearby park. Children's laughter drifting through the neighborhood. The sound of a train whistle in the distance on a summer evening. I love to listen to the crickets at night.
I love the smell of fresh cut grass, chlorine from the pool, and fresh summer rain on hot pavement.
I love going to the lake and watching my son windsurf, or lounging at the pool with my daughter and catching up on all her news. I love sitting in my back yard and watching the dragonflies dance. I love falling into a trance as I watch the birch wood slowly burn to glowing embers in the fire pit. I love pondering a midnight blue sky full of stars while a gentle summer breeze caresses me.
I love that I can spend an entire afternoon buried in a book and not feel the least bit guilty about it.
No cares. No worries.
Or, at least, all cares and worries put on hold. Time seems to stand still for just a little bit and the days run together into a blaze of sunshine and glory. Just for a little while, I feel young again.
And that is a very good thing.
And the Winner is...
A Ford Explorer!
We spent last Saturday driving all over creation and test driving just about everything under the sun. I can't give you a blow by blow of everything we looked at, because at some point, it all started to blur together in my mind. I remember liking an orange Subaru Forester, and a Hyundai Sonata. There was a Mustang that nearly won out, too. By evening-time, I was so burned out and frustrated that I was ready to give up and head home in defeat.
The problem was too many choices. And the fact that I want a car that does not exist (at least, not to my knowledge and not in my price range). I want a sporty, sexy vehicle that is convertible for the Spring and Fall, and converts in the push of a button to a rugged winter ride and cool-comfy summer ride. I want to be able to haul my bikes and kayaks around, have lots of room for the family on road trips, and .... get awesome gas mileage.
Lots of vehicles fit most of those parameters, except for the last one. Bottom line, I can either have an economical commuter car, or an SUV. I know there are lots of "crossovers" out there (crossover is the new term for pumped up station wagons), but none of them seemed to fit my personality. I am still in love with Jeep Wranglers. I acknowledge, however, that they are supremely impractical. It takes two people to re-install the hard or soft top, and storms roll through here so quickly that it would likely sustain water damage before I managed to get it covered up. Still love Mustangs, too. But a bike rack would look ridiculous on a 'Stang. And can you imagine tying a kayak to the roof of a Mustang? Um, no.
The Explorer comes closest of all the cars I drove on Saturday to meeting all of those parameters. The gas mileage is the notable exception. Excellent gas mileage and SUV don't seem to belong in the same sentence. However, it does have a sunroof, which was my compromise on the convertible issue. It is rigged up for towing, so we can put our bike rack on the back of it AND throw kayaks onto the roof rack all at the same time! This particular Explorer looks sporty and sexy (so say all the guys I talk to... something about the rims? They look like tires to me, but all the guys think they're cool, even the guy I returned the rental car to noticed them and told me they were cool).
So, there you have it. A new (to us) car. I really hope I don't have to go through that again for a long, LONG time!
We spent last Saturday driving all over creation and test driving just about everything under the sun. I can't give you a blow by blow of everything we looked at, because at some point, it all started to blur together in my mind. I remember liking an orange Subaru Forester, and a Hyundai Sonata. There was a Mustang that nearly won out, too. By evening-time, I was so burned out and frustrated that I was ready to give up and head home in defeat.
The problem was too many choices. And the fact that I want a car that does not exist (at least, not to my knowledge and not in my price range). I want a sporty, sexy vehicle that is convertible for the Spring and Fall, and converts in the push of a button to a rugged winter ride and cool-comfy summer ride. I want to be able to haul my bikes and kayaks around, have lots of room for the family on road trips, and .... get awesome gas mileage.
Lots of vehicles fit most of those parameters, except for the last one. Bottom line, I can either have an economical commuter car, or an SUV. I know there are lots of "crossovers" out there (crossover is the new term for pumped up station wagons), but none of them seemed to fit my personality. I am still in love with Jeep Wranglers. I acknowledge, however, that they are supremely impractical. It takes two people to re-install the hard or soft top, and storms roll through here so quickly that it would likely sustain water damage before I managed to get it covered up. Still love Mustangs, too. But a bike rack would look ridiculous on a 'Stang. And can you imagine tying a kayak to the roof of a Mustang? Um, no.
The Explorer comes closest of all the cars I drove on Saturday to meeting all of those parameters. The gas mileage is the notable exception. Excellent gas mileage and SUV don't seem to belong in the same sentence. However, it does have a sunroof, which was my compromise on the convertible issue. It is rigged up for towing, so we can put our bike rack on the back of it AND throw kayaks onto the roof rack all at the same time! This particular Explorer looks sporty and sexy (so say all the guys I talk to... something about the rims? They look like tires to me, but all the guys think they're cool, even the guy I returned the rental car to noticed them and told me they were cool).
So, there you have it. A new (to us) car. I really hope I don't have to go through that again for a long, LONG time!
Car Shopping
I really hate car shopping. There are too many that I like. And, since it is such a big, expensive purchase, I can only get one. It is not like picking a movie or where to go for dinner... where you can try something different next week. This is a REALLY permanent decision. More so because we aren't the type of people who upgrade our cars every two years. We keep them for life (or until the Universe decides differently). We've had the Expedition for 12 years, now. It has gone from a sleek, upscale luxury-feeling car to a dented up, rattle bang, knock about... but I still love it!
So whatever we buy, I have to LOVE it. I feel like the proverbial kid in a candy store, because there are several that I love. However, today I found one that might be a LOVE.
I have had a secret love affair with Jeep Wrangler ever since I was a teen. We test drove Jeeps when we were in the market for a car 12 years ago, and I was disappointed at how rattle-bang they felt. I test drove this 2009 and LOVED it! There was nothing vibrating and the stick shift handled beautifully! I had a LOT of fun with it and spent the entire test drive with perma-grin, fantasizing about all the fun sportiness of it. I just felt young and HEALTHY driving it. Crazy, huh?
On the more practical side, however, is the fact that Wranglers come with NO bells and whistles. Not even the ones that we have come to take for granted. No power windows or seat adjusters. No power 'roof', either. To put on/take off the soft top takes two people and a lot of effort, so it isn't something you'd do lightly. Also, the 'trunk' space is small. Too small for hauling a lot groceries, perhaps? Non-existant when you take off the top and shove it in the trunk. So groceries would end up in the back seat, which doesn't have a door for easy access. Another down side to this vehicle is, where would I put the bike &/or kayak? Okay, so I don't currently have a kayak... but I want to plan for it, since I sense one in my future. The car is sporty, but can I carry my sports around in/on it?
Still, it is a sexy and sporty car that holds its value better than almost any other car out there. So, after a year of driving it, I could easily trade it in if I decide I'm tired of ruggedness and want some luxury.
Another car we test drove today was a GMC Terrain. I think it was a 2010. It was a bit more expensive than the Wrangler, but MAN! it has a lot of bells and whistles!
It has a front panel just full of buttons! I'm not sure how much I'd use the navigation system, but it looks like fun to play with.
It is an automatic. I am okay with that. I think sticks are only fun in sexy, sporty cars. If it's luxury you're after, automatic is the way to go. Although, this car had a funky automatic/manual transmission that might be fun to mess around with. Extra buttons!
I do like it when the car makes it so easy for me to see how fast I'm going with a digital display.
Not as fun looking, but sleek and modern and grown up feeling. And, of course, places to attach my bike/kayak to the car. So, not as sporty, but I could take my sports with me. Oh, and lots of room for groceries.
Did I mention it has a sunroof? I have decided that a sunroof is the minimum I'm going for this time around. If I can't have a convertible, I'm at least going to have a sunroof!
Earlier today, I went and looked at several cars at the Ford dealership. Once again, I was looking at Mustangs. I have to stop looking at those, however, because I simply live in the wrong climate for them. If I was buying an 'extra' car, one that could spend the snowy months dreaming of balmy summer sun while sheltering in the garage, it would be a different story. But I am looking for my primary mode of transportation. It has to be good in all weather, and all terrain. That means 4 wheel drive or all wheel drive. You can see why I keep gravitating to SUV types.
So, do I go for a sporty-and-sexy-wind-in-my-hair Wrangler? Or do I go for luxury bells and whistles? Not necessarily the GMC Terrain, of course. I can find those bells and whistles in lots of different cars.
I'll be making a decision fairly soon. I'll let you know.
So whatever we buy, I have to LOVE it. I feel like the proverbial kid in a candy store, because there are several that I love. However, today I found one that might be a LOVE.
I have had a secret love affair with Jeep Wrangler ever since I was a teen. We test drove Jeeps when we were in the market for a car 12 years ago, and I was disappointed at how rattle-bang they felt. I test drove this 2009 and LOVED it! There was nothing vibrating and the stick shift handled beautifully! I had a LOT of fun with it and spent the entire test drive with perma-grin, fantasizing about all the fun sportiness of it. I just felt young and HEALTHY driving it. Crazy, huh?
On the more practical side, however, is the fact that Wranglers come with NO bells and whistles. Not even the ones that we have come to take for granted. No power windows or seat adjusters. No power 'roof', either. To put on/take off the soft top takes two people and a lot of effort, so it isn't something you'd do lightly. Also, the 'trunk' space is small. Too small for hauling a lot groceries, perhaps? Non-existant when you take off the top and shove it in the trunk. So groceries would end up in the back seat, which doesn't have a door for easy access. Another down side to this vehicle is, where would I put the bike &/or kayak? Okay, so I don't currently have a kayak... but I want to plan for it, since I sense one in my future. The car is sporty, but can I carry my sports around in/on it?
Still, it is a sexy and sporty car that holds its value better than almost any other car out there. So, after a year of driving it, I could easily trade it in if I decide I'm tired of ruggedness and want some luxury.
Another car we test drove today was a GMC Terrain. I think it was a 2010. It was a bit more expensive than the Wrangler, but MAN! it has a lot of bells and whistles!
It has a front panel just full of buttons! I'm not sure how much I'd use the navigation system, but it looks like fun to play with.
It is an automatic. I am okay with that. I think sticks are only fun in sexy, sporty cars. If it's luxury you're after, automatic is the way to go. Although, this car had a funky automatic/manual transmission that might be fun to mess around with. Extra buttons!
I do like it when the car makes it so easy for me to see how fast I'm going with a digital display.
Not as fun looking, but sleek and modern and grown up feeling. And, of course, places to attach my bike/kayak to the car. So, not as sporty, but I could take my sports with me. Oh, and lots of room for groceries.
Did I mention it has a sunroof? I have decided that a sunroof is the minimum I'm going for this time around. If I can't have a convertible, I'm at least going to have a sunroof!
Earlier today, I went and looked at several cars at the Ford dealership. Once again, I was looking at Mustangs. I have to stop looking at those, however, because I simply live in the wrong climate for them. If I was buying an 'extra' car, one that could spend the snowy months dreaming of balmy summer sun while sheltering in the garage, it would be a different story. But I am looking for my primary mode of transportation. It has to be good in all weather, and all terrain. That means 4 wheel drive or all wheel drive. You can see why I keep gravitating to SUV types.
So, do I go for a sporty-and-sexy-wind-in-my-hair Wrangler? Or do I go for luxury bells and whistles? Not necessarily the GMC Terrain, of course. I can find those bells and whistles in lots of different cars.
I'll be making a decision fairly soon. I'll let you know.
The Republican Caucus
There is a place on facebook where you can list your interests. One of the areas to fill out is "Politics". My answer?
I avoid it.
I know. Bad, bad. This is a country that is supposed to be of the people, by the people, and for the people. And if the people don't participate in the system, it stops being by the people and bad stuff happens. I get it.
But let me tell you, I live in such a homogeneous neighborhood that I could shout myself blue in the face and it wouldn't amount to a thing. Not that I feel like shouting. I am more liberal than most of my neighbors, but still on the conservative end of the spectrum. I am actually a registered Republican, if you can believe that. I can't remember why that is.
The truth is, my voice doesn't count for anything here. And I'm mostly okay with that.
So, you might be wondering what in the world would entice me to attend my neighborhood caucus meeting tonight.
Two of Helena's teachers are offering extra credit to seniors over 18 who attend the caucus and report about it...
...and Helena had to work tonight.
So, while I might avoid politics, I am willing to take a bullet for one of my kids and show up to video portions of it for her so she can write up the extra credit report.
Hopefully I can make up for my apathy as a citizen by being an excellent mom?
Anyways, the caucus for all the districts in town were held at the high school. I arrived a tad late, and discovered that I would have to park a couple of blocks away from the school and hike in. It took me a bit of research to figure out which district I'm currently in (due to redistricting, we've been in 3 different districts in the 12 years we've lived in this house). I'm in AF09, now, which was being held in the south side of the cafeteria... while AF06 was being held simultaneously in the north side of the same room! Oi! It was hot, crowded, and noisy in there! I figured I'd missed the prayer and the pledge, but they hadn't even gotten started yet. Since I'm a registered republican, I was given a slip of paper that stated I was an accredited something-something that gave me a right to nominate people, run for office (thanks, but NO!!!), and vote.
I won't bore you with a blow by blow of the hour and a half that I actually stuck around and participated. They were nowhere near done when I bailed. But, while I was there, I got to participate in putting a friend and neighbor in as our committee chair (or head honcho, or whatever the heck you call the person who represents the rest of us at the next level). It felt good to personally know the person who is going to speak for me as a delegate. And the whole thing felt very grass roots. The epitome of grass roots, in fact. The three people nominated each took a turn speaking for 2 minutes and fielding questions from us about political stuff. Only one of the three seemed out of touch and unprepared. Our votes were hand written on slips of paper, collected in a shoe box, and tallied the old fashioned way off in the corner. My friend and neighbor, Reese Day, won the majority in a single round of voting. (Well done, Reese! Congratulations!) The other nominee who seemed intelligently prepared ended up being voted in as the vice chair.
I got some video for Helena to use in writing up her report tonight, but even better, I can now say that I have officially done my civic duty as an American! It was more interesting than I thought it would be, and I'm glad I went. Huzzah.
I avoid it.
I know. Bad, bad. This is a country that is supposed to be of the people, by the people, and for the people. And if the people don't participate in the system, it stops being by the people and bad stuff happens. I get it.
But let me tell you, I live in such a homogeneous neighborhood that I could shout myself blue in the face and it wouldn't amount to a thing. Not that I feel like shouting. I am more liberal than most of my neighbors, but still on the conservative end of the spectrum. I am actually a registered Republican, if you can believe that. I can't remember why that is.
The truth is, my voice doesn't count for anything here. And I'm mostly okay with that.
So, you might be wondering what in the world would entice me to attend my neighborhood caucus meeting tonight.
Two of Helena's teachers are offering extra credit to seniors over 18 who attend the caucus and report about it...
...and Helena had to work tonight.
So, while I might avoid politics, I am willing to take a bullet for one of my kids and show up to video portions of it for her so she can write up the extra credit report.
Hopefully I can make up for my apathy as a citizen by being an excellent mom?
Anyways, the caucus for all the districts in town were held at the high school. I arrived a tad late, and discovered that I would have to park a couple of blocks away from the school and hike in. It took me a bit of research to figure out which district I'm currently in (due to redistricting, we've been in 3 different districts in the 12 years we've lived in this house). I'm in AF09, now, which was being held in the south side of the cafeteria... while AF06 was being held simultaneously in the north side of the same room! Oi! It was hot, crowded, and noisy in there! I figured I'd missed the prayer and the pledge, but they hadn't even gotten started yet. Since I'm a registered republican, I was given a slip of paper that stated I was an accredited something-something that gave me a right to nominate people, run for office (thanks, but NO!!!), and vote.
I won't bore you with a blow by blow of the hour and a half that I actually stuck around and participated. They were nowhere near done when I bailed. But, while I was there, I got to participate in putting a friend and neighbor in as our committee chair (or head honcho, or whatever the heck you call the person who represents the rest of us at the next level). It felt good to personally know the person who is going to speak for me as a delegate. And the whole thing felt very grass roots. The epitome of grass roots, in fact. The three people nominated each took a turn speaking for 2 minutes and fielding questions from us about political stuff. Only one of the three seemed out of touch and unprepared. Our votes were hand written on slips of paper, collected in a shoe box, and tallied the old fashioned way off in the corner. My friend and neighbor, Reese Day, won the majority in a single round of voting. (Well done, Reese! Congratulations!) The other nominee who seemed intelligently prepared ended up being voted in as the vice chair.
I got some video for Helena to use in writing up her report tonight, but even better, I can now say that I have officially done my civic duty as an American! It was more interesting than I thought it would be, and I'm glad I went. Huzzah.
Customer Service
On our last visit to the local membership style warehouse store we bought a case of Nalley's chili. When opening the first can, we immediately noticed a big change in the product. What used to be a thick chili, was now runny and (quite frankly) gross! Looking at the label, it is obvious that the recipe had been changed. Beans used to be the first ingredient listed. Now it is water. We were really displeased.
In fact, I was perturbed enough to contact the company about my discontent. I went online and wrote to them.
Within one day I had an e-mail response, apologizing for my disappointment and promising a check had been put in the mail to compensate me for the product I had purchased. Within a week I had the check in hand, for $15.00.
I was really rather impressed! I am still not thrilled about the change in the recipe, and won't be buying any more in the near future, but I was favorably impressed with a company that cares about customer opinion enough to respond so quickly and decisively to a complaint. Well done, Pinnacle Foods (parent company of Nalley)!
On the other side of the spectrum...
Yesterday, I accidentally left my cell phone on the treadmill at the gym. (Note to self: STOP taking your cell phone with you to the gym!!!) I realized my mistake the moment I got home and quickly called the gym to see if anyone had taken it to the front desk. No one had. The girl on the phone quickly volunteered to go down to the cardio room and look for it. She said to call back in 10 minutes.
Fifteen minutes later, I call back. I got a different girl this time. I asked if my phone had been found. I was told that no one had turned one in. I explained that someone had volunteered to go look for it. After a pause, she came back on the line and said that my phone hadn't been found and I should call back in the evening to see if it had turned up.
Now, I am not the type to leave it at that. Truthfully, I once accidentally threw my phone away along with the paper towel I had used to wipe down the equipment (seriously gotta stop taking it with me!). Knowing I could have done the same stupid manoever, I decided I'd best go back to the gym and search for it myself.
When I got there I found my cell phone just sitting in plain sight on the front of the treadmill, right where I'd left it! Which means, of course, that the girls at the front desk hadn't really gone to look for it at all. The cardio room is not huge. The phone was not hard to spot, sitting on an empty machine. So, really, why bother offering to look if you aren't going to do it? And then why lie about it when I call back? Grr!
As a side note, the lap lane schedule for the pool at the gym is out dated. I asked if they have a new copy, but was told the out dated one was just fine (by the same girls, I might add). I explained that the old schedule is not just fine, because it is inaccurate. Where it says there are 3 lap lanes open and available, there is actually only one available because the others have recently been taken up by swim teams and a triathlon class (that I plan to join sometime soon, I hope). It is not a huge deal. It would just be good to know, since it impacts my decisions about when to train in the pool. I will probably shift my workout times now, so that I can go at a time when the lanes are less crowded. Her response? 'Oh. Sorry.'
OK. Fix the schedule then, please! Of course, the girls at the front desk are just lowly teenagers who have no actual authority to do anything to the schedule. I'll have to write to the gym manager about getting an updated schedule printed out.
In fact, I was perturbed enough to contact the company about my discontent. I went online and wrote to them.
Within one day I had an e-mail response, apologizing for my disappointment and promising a check had been put in the mail to compensate me for the product I had purchased. Within a week I had the check in hand, for $15.00.
I was really rather impressed! I am still not thrilled about the change in the recipe, and won't be buying any more in the near future, but I was favorably impressed with a company that cares about customer opinion enough to respond so quickly and decisively to a complaint. Well done, Pinnacle Foods (parent company of Nalley)!
On the other side of the spectrum...
Yesterday, I accidentally left my cell phone on the treadmill at the gym. (Note to self: STOP taking your cell phone with you to the gym!!!) I realized my mistake the moment I got home and quickly called the gym to see if anyone had taken it to the front desk. No one had. The girl on the phone quickly volunteered to go down to the cardio room and look for it. She said to call back in 10 minutes.
Fifteen minutes later, I call back. I got a different girl this time. I asked if my phone had been found. I was told that no one had turned one in. I explained that someone had volunteered to go look for it. After a pause, she came back on the line and said that my phone hadn't been found and I should call back in the evening to see if it had turned up.
Now, I am not the type to leave it at that. Truthfully, I once accidentally threw my phone away along with the paper towel I had used to wipe down the equipment (seriously gotta stop taking it with me!). Knowing I could have done the same stupid manoever, I decided I'd best go back to the gym and search for it myself.
When I got there I found my cell phone just sitting in plain sight on the front of the treadmill, right where I'd left it! Which means, of course, that the girls at the front desk hadn't really gone to look for it at all. The cardio room is not huge. The phone was not hard to spot, sitting on an empty machine. So, really, why bother offering to look if you aren't going to do it? And then why lie about it when I call back? Grr!
As a side note, the lap lane schedule for the pool at the gym is out dated. I asked if they have a new copy, but was told the out dated one was just fine (by the same girls, I might add). I explained that the old schedule is not just fine, because it is inaccurate. Where it says there are 3 lap lanes open and available, there is actually only one available because the others have recently been taken up by swim teams and a triathlon class (that I plan to join sometime soon, I hope). It is not a huge deal. It would just be good to know, since it impacts my decisions about when to train in the pool. I will probably shift my workout times now, so that I can go at a time when the lanes are less crowded. Her response? 'Oh. Sorry.'
OK. Fix the schedule then, please! Of course, the girls at the front desk are just lowly teenagers who have no actual authority to do anything to the schedule. I'll have to write to the gym manager about getting an updated schedule printed out.
In Search of Snow
My friends and family back in the Seattle area are buried in snow. They have been dumped on and their lives have ground to a halt because of it.
We have still had none.
Our weather, of late, has fluctuated between 10*F and 50*F. When it's been under 32*, it's been dry. When it gets over the freezing point? Yup. It rains. It has been the kookiest winter, so far.
I think it might be our fault.
We gave Bill some snow shoes for Christmas. Which would be great... IF THERE WERE SNOW!
I am not actually complaining. I have been enjoying the mild weather, the dry roads, and being able to wear my canvas shoes from time to time.
We are just afraid that this might mean a cold, wet Spring is in store. With my luck, it will snow on my marathon on June 9th. 'Snow in June?!?' you say? It has been known to happen on the rare occasion.
But, really, it better not!
We have still had none.
Our weather, of late, has fluctuated between 10*F and 50*F. When it's been under 32*, it's been dry. When it gets over the freezing point? Yup. It rains. It has been the kookiest winter, so far.
I think it might be our fault.
We gave Bill some snow shoes for Christmas. Which would be great... IF THERE WERE SNOW!
I am not actually complaining. I have been enjoying the mild weather, the dry roads, and being able to wear my canvas shoes from time to time.
We are just afraid that this might mean a cold, wet Spring is in store. With my luck, it will snow on my marathon on June 9th. 'Snow in June?!?' you say? It has been known to happen on the rare occasion.
But, really, it better not!
Another Random Blog Post
I have lots of thoughts swirling around in my head, and they probably don't all belong in the same post. If I were more dedicated, I'd separate them out. As it is, you just get a hodge-podge for a post.
First off, I've been thinking about my job, lately.
I still like teaching art. That will probably never change. But there are times when it starts to feel like it is not enough. I love teaching the 5th and 6th grade classes. The are so fun and I really feel like they are learning significant art skills from me. Third and fourth grade are OK, because I can start to teach real skills with them, even if I won't see results from those lessons for a few years. Kindergarten, First, and Second grade are the worst! Those kids are just so little and squirmy! They have no attention span, and many of the projects I do with them are frustrating for me. They feel less like art lessons and more like play time with paint... x30. Classroom management becomes more important than the lessons themselves. Or rather, the lesson is about how to manage your behavior around all this fun stuff, not art itself.
So, I look forward to my 'big kids' and dread my 'little ones'. The morning is full of 'big kids' and awesome lessons. The afternoon is all about the 'little ones' and just surviving the next big mess. Of course, the 'little ones' think their lessons are awesome, too. I'm the only one craving more.
I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if my job did not involve caring for other people's offspring. If I could be paid for work done in an adult setting. As my own children get older and older, the divide between my home life and work life grows ever wider. Everything happening at home is done at an adult level. At work I have to remind myself sometimes that they are only little children and I have to shift mentalities to deal with them. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to make that mental shift.
I daydream about going back to school for my masters degree. Most teachers work on a masters in the field of education to move themselves up the pay brackets. Most of my coworkers are either working on or have their masters. I'm not interested in another education degree, however.
I want to get a Masters of Architecture.
The only problem is money. That particular masters program would take me 3+ years to complete, because my undergrad is not architecture. Working a job and that particular masters program at the same time is not realistic. Three plus years of graduate level tuition is not realistic. Starting a new career at this point in my life is not realistic. Leaving a secure job of any kind in this economic climate is not realistic. None of it is any kind of realistic.
And so it is just a daydream.
The second thing stewing around in my head is the economy itself. I got to thinking about the past vs. the present. You know, my parent's life as breadwinners and my own.
Dad never went to college. He worked hard all those years to earn enough to support a wife and six kids. Mom stayed at home and raised us. We were solidly middle class... with only one wage earner supporting a family of EIGHT!
I graduated from college. Bill and I both work. We only have three kids. That's a family of five. We are solidly middle class, but only because we are both working and we only have to support two kids right now.
HOW DID MY PARENTS DO IT?!?
They were able to do it because the cost of living was much smaller back in the day. The income to cost of living was much more comfortable back then. Today, the cost of living has skyrocketed much faster than income levels. According to one article I read recently, an average worker of today needs to make about $25,000.00 more per year than a worker did a generation ago, just to make ends meet.
That's just depressing.
It's getting harder and harder to stay in the middle class.
The third thing rattling around in my head is about the tutoring sessions I'm doing.
I hate how powerless I feel in the face of learning disabilities. To look the same child in the face day in and day out and see that she has not absorbed a single thing I have been trying to teach her! She is so far behind the learning curve that I fear for her future. We have been working with money this week, trying to help the students understand about adding and subtracting money, the idea being to help them realize it is just like any other adding/subtracting... just with a decimal thrown in. Most of the kids in the group are plugging away at problems, only needing help here and there over decimal placement or borrowing/carrying over types of stuff. She sits there with a deer-in-the-headlights sort of look on her face and waits for me to come work one on one with her because she can't do even the most basic addition. I ask her, "What is 3+2?"
Her response is "2?" So I have to help her find the answer of "5".
I ask her, "What is 6-0?"
"0?" You can see that she has no idea, so she just parrots back the last number I said, hoping it might be the answer. Not even saying "if you have six gumballs, and I take none of them away from you..." works for her. She just doesn't know. I once spent an entire session just with her, because the rest of the kids were no shows. By the end of the session, she was doing simple adding ALL BY HERSELF! I felt great! The very next day she remembered none of it.
And so it goes.
As part of our money unit, I built a little 'store' in the back of the room and gave them all fake money to spend. They had to choose two items from the store and add up how much they would cost. Then they had to round up to the next dollar. So, if the two items cost $12.76, they were supposed to bring $13 to the cashier (me), but they had to know how much change they were supposed to get back, because I might try to trick them and only give back a penny! Most of the kids struggle with the concept of change. This little girl struggled with all of it. She couldn't add her two items together. She couldn't figure out what the next whole dollar amount should be. She couldn't remember what denomination each coin was worth. She couldn't add them up to the total she needed, anyways. When it was time to pay, she just brought up her whole wad of cash and handed it over with no idea of how much she'd handed me, or how much she was supposed to get back.
Aurgh!
And yet her teacher says she is showing some improvement from attending my tutoring sessions. So I keep at it, hoping someday it'll make a difference.
*****
Editor's note: Apparently, I made an error when I stated that my dad never went to college. My Mom sent me an e-mail to set me straight. Dad did, in fact, go to night school, and spent many a night/early morning writing college papers. He gave up his studies 3 semesters short of the diploma because it was too much of a strain to try to go to school and support a family at the same time. Having said that, it doesn't really change the point of the post. My Dad was able to comfortably support a large family on his earnings without a college diploma back in the day. While my Mom stayed home and cared for the kids. I just don't think the same thing is doable anymore.
First off, I've been thinking about my job, lately.
I still like teaching art. That will probably never change. But there are times when it starts to feel like it is not enough. I love teaching the 5th and 6th grade classes. The are so fun and I really feel like they are learning significant art skills from me. Third and fourth grade are OK, because I can start to teach real skills with them, even if I won't see results from those lessons for a few years. Kindergarten, First, and Second grade are the worst! Those kids are just so little and squirmy! They have no attention span, and many of the projects I do with them are frustrating for me. They feel less like art lessons and more like play time with paint... x30. Classroom management becomes more important than the lessons themselves. Or rather, the lesson is about how to manage your behavior around all this fun stuff, not art itself.
So, I look forward to my 'big kids' and dread my 'little ones'. The morning is full of 'big kids' and awesome lessons. The afternoon is all about the 'little ones' and just surviving the next big mess. Of course, the 'little ones' think their lessons are awesome, too. I'm the only one craving more.
I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if my job did not involve caring for other people's offspring. If I could be paid for work done in an adult setting. As my own children get older and older, the divide between my home life and work life grows ever wider. Everything happening at home is done at an adult level. At work I have to remind myself sometimes that they are only little children and I have to shift mentalities to deal with them. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to make that mental shift.
I daydream about going back to school for my masters degree. Most teachers work on a masters in the field of education to move themselves up the pay brackets. Most of my coworkers are either working on or have their masters. I'm not interested in another education degree, however.
I want to get a Masters of Architecture.
The only problem is money. That particular masters program would take me 3+ years to complete, because my undergrad is not architecture. Working a job and that particular masters program at the same time is not realistic. Three plus years of graduate level tuition is not realistic. Starting a new career at this point in my life is not realistic. Leaving a secure job of any kind in this economic climate is not realistic. None of it is any kind of realistic.
And so it is just a daydream.
The second thing stewing around in my head is the economy itself. I got to thinking about the past vs. the present. You know, my parent's life as breadwinners and my own.
Dad never went to college. He worked hard all those years to earn enough to support a wife and six kids. Mom stayed at home and raised us. We were solidly middle class... with only one wage earner supporting a family of EIGHT!
I graduated from college. Bill and I both work. We only have three kids. That's a family of five. We are solidly middle class, but only because we are both working and we only have to support two kids right now.
HOW DID MY PARENTS DO IT?!?
They were able to do it because the cost of living was much smaller back in the day. The income to cost of living was much more comfortable back then. Today, the cost of living has skyrocketed much faster than income levels. According to one article I read recently, an average worker of today needs to make about $25,000.00 more per year than a worker did a generation ago, just to make ends meet.
That's just depressing.
It's getting harder and harder to stay in the middle class.
The third thing rattling around in my head is about the tutoring sessions I'm doing.
I hate how powerless I feel in the face of learning disabilities. To look the same child in the face day in and day out and see that she has not absorbed a single thing I have been trying to teach her! She is so far behind the learning curve that I fear for her future. We have been working with money this week, trying to help the students understand about adding and subtracting money, the idea being to help them realize it is just like any other adding/subtracting... just with a decimal thrown in. Most of the kids in the group are plugging away at problems, only needing help here and there over decimal placement or borrowing/carrying over types of stuff. She sits there with a deer-in-the-headlights sort of look on her face and waits for me to come work one on one with her because she can't do even the most basic addition. I ask her, "What is 3+2?"
Her response is "2?" So I have to help her find the answer of "5".
I ask her, "What is 6-0?"
"0?" You can see that she has no idea, so she just parrots back the last number I said, hoping it might be the answer. Not even saying "if you have six gumballs, and I take none of them away from you..." works for her. She just doesn't know. I once spent an entire session just with her, because the rest of the kids were no shows. By the end of the session, she was doing simple adding ALL BY HERSELF! I felt great! The very next day she remembered none of it.
And so it goes.
As part of our money unit, I built a little 'store' in the back of the room and gave them all fake money to spend. They had to choose two items from the store and add up how much they would cost. Then they had to round up to the next dollar. So, if the two items cost $12.76, they were supposed to bring $13 to the cashier (me), but they had to know how much change they were supposed to get back, because I might try to trick them and only give back a penny! Most of the kids struggle with the concept of change. This little girl struggled with all of it. She couldn't add her two items together. She couldn't figure out what the next whole dollar amount should be. She couldn't remember what denomination each coin was worth. She couldn't add them up to the total she needed, anyways. When it was time to pay, she just brought up her whole wad of cash and handed it over with no idea of how much she'd handed me, or how much she was supposed to get back.
Aurgh!
And yet her teacher says she is showing some improvement from attending my tutoring sessions. So I keep at it, hoping someday it'll make a difference.
*****
Editor's note: Apparently, I made an error when I stated that my dad never went to college. My Mom sent me an e-mail to set me straight. Dad did, in fact, go to night school, and spent many a night/early morning writing college papers. He gave up his studies 3 semesters short of the diploma because it was too much of a strain to try to go to school and support a family at the same time. Having said that, it doesn't really change the point of the post. My Dad was able to comfortably support a large family on his earnings without a college diploma back in the day. While my Mom stayed home and cared for the kids. I just don't think the same thing is doable anymore.
Saturdays Should be for Sleeping In.
I like to sleep in on the weekends.
I like to sleep in any chance I get!
Today was not one of those days.
Will was being picked up by some friends, who took him with them up to Sundance for the first skiing of the season. To make sure he was up and ready for them to come get him at 7 am, I got up at 6 am. Good thing. He was passed out on the couch in the family room in nothing but his underwear, with the fireplace roaring away, sound asleep. I had found him dead to the world the night before on the floor in front of the same fireplace and had a difficult time moving him to his own bed. Turns out he got himself up at 5:30 and fell back asleep in front of the fire.
My kids are constantly turning that thing on and turning the basement into a summer heat-fest. They don't like to be cold. Helena's room is downright toasty most of the time, because she keeps her heater vent wide open and her door shut as much as possible. I get frustrated because I dread the bill to come from this basement heat wave.
Bill was eager to get up early today, too. He wanted to see the lunar eclipse. We watched it through the telescope from the spare room for a little bit, until it moved behind some trees. Then Bill took the telescope out into the front yard. I will admit, the eclipse was pretty cool. We had the whole family up (Helena got rousted, too) and looking through the telescope and binoculars.
I had every intention of going back to bed once Will left to go skiing. But, by the time he actually left, I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep again. I was tired and wanted to sleep, but the sun was up by then, and I'd just lay there thinking of all the things I ought to be doing instead of laying there, you know?
So, Bill, Helena, and I went out to breakfast and did some Christmas shopping, instead. We spent the morning at that, and I spent the afternoon wrapping gifts. Bill picked up Will and his friends in the early evening, just as Helena was headed out for an evening with her best friend, Megan. It was a good day for everyone, I think.
I like to sleep in any chance I get!
Today was not one of those days.
Will was being picked up by some friends, who took him with them up to Sundance for the first skiing of the season. To make sure he was up and ready for them to come get him at 7 am, I got up at 6 am. Good thing. He was passed out on the couch in the family room in nothing but his underwear, with the fireplace roaring away, sound asleep. I had found him dead to the world the night before on the floor in front of the same fireplace and had a difficult time moving him to his own bed. Turns out he got himself up at 5:30 and fell back asleep in front of the fire.
My kids are constantly turning that thing on and turning the basement into a summer heat-fest. They don't like to be cold. Helena's room is downright toasty most of the time, because she keeps her heater vent wide open and her door shut as much as possible. I get frustrated because I dread the bill to come from this basement heat wave.
Bill was eager to get up early today, too. He wanted to see the lunar eclipse. We watched it through the telescope from the spare room for a little bit, until it moved behind some trees. Then Bill took the telescope out into the front yard. I will admit, the eclipse was pretty cool. We had the whole family up (Helena got rousted, too) and looking through the telescope and binoculars.
I had every intention of going back to bed once Will left to go skiing. But, by the time he actually left, I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep again. I was tired and wanted to sleep, but the sun was up by then, and I'd just lay there thinking of all the things I ought to be doing instead of laying there, you know?
So, Bill, Helena, and I went out to breakfast and did some Christmas shopping, instead. We spent the morning at that, and I spent the afternoon wrapping gifts. Bill picked up Will and his friends in the early evening, just as Helena was headed out for an evening with her best friend, Megan. It was a good day for everyone, I think.
Morning Commute
On my way to work one morning last week, I noticed that the moon was hovering just over the western mountains. At the same moment, the sunrise was just grazing the tops of the same mountain range, creating a very pretty picture. I couldn't stop to take a picture, because I had to get to work on time. But, I did try to take several pictures while driving. That has to be right up there with texting and driving, so don't tell the cops, okay? Here are my two most successful shots.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)