The promised photos from Helena

Or, I should say, the photo that is my current favorite! On the day that Will set up the electric train in the family room, Helena went down there with her camera.

What I like about this picture is it's timeless quality. It is a classic! Boys and toy trains have been around ever since the invention of the steam engine! This picture feels like it is telling a story. It is the sort of thing you might see as an illustration in a book. The focus (focal point) on it is really good, too.

So, there you go, Helena! My artist's assessment of your photo. Love you!

Helena, the writer, dancer, photographer

Here is an excerpt from Helena's blog.

There is nothing (nothing) like hearing the music drum through your body as you dance and knowing that you are the most beautiful person on the planet. there is nothing like dancing and sweating and hurting but at the same time feeling so light and peaceful and graceful that you could fly. i love moving and gliding and feeling the music beat through my body as i dance. there really is no other feeling like it. it is the most wonderful, beautiful ......most amazing thing.

See what I mean?! She is 15 and is already an amazing writer! She claims to be a terrible writer, but how can that be? She is in Honors English and getting A's and B's. She is a much better writer than most kids her own age. And when you compare what she has written to my previous post, there is no comparison!

Helena's blog is also full of beautiful photos that she has taken. You can see some of her photos on my previous blog posts. She has some more that I truly love. I'll post them when I get home!

Reconnecting with my past through my kids' present

Here are side by side pictures of me and Helena, both at the age of 15. Her hair is much cuter!

Here are photos of me and Will at the age of 12! What can I say? Those are some awesome hairdo's I'm sporting!

Living with a teenager is not easy. Some days are light-hearted and fun, other days I somehow manage to offend with every word and glance. Living with two teenagers at once can be most unpleasant!


There are days when everyone in the house is mad at everyone else (excluding Bill, and I, of course). Those are days when I calculate just how long until they are 18.


Yesterday, I decided to find my old teen aged journal. It is a little black velvet covered book with a faded unicorn on the cover. Rather appropriate that my teen aged journal is a little black book! As I read through it, I could see much of my children's attitudes reflected in my own at that age.


As a teenager, I was completely self absorbed. Here are some samples;

This afternoon , mom went to the store with Kirsten. Trina went too because mom was gona drop her off somewhere.

I might as well explain here and now that both Kirsten and I were keeping sticker collections.

I asked mom to buy me a few lousy 10 cent stickers, she said no. I wouldn't have minded all that much, except that when they got home, Kirsten cam tra-la-laing up to me to show me the nifty stickers mom bought for her! I could have died! Mom buys everything for that little BRAT!

-13 yrs. old

-Jan. or Feb. 1984

What is wrong with moi? I feel like none of the guys at school would dare even touch me, & I feel as if I rank lowest of my family members.

Trina's getting her second rabbit sometime this weekend. Second, while I've never even owned my very own pet in my life! (And I've been asking for a dog for a long time!

Grandma said that you have to show alot of resposability to own a pet; but noones given me a chance to prove it!

I feel like an outcast & that they (my parents) love Trina more than they love me!

When (and If) I get my dog, I've decided that I want a blonde cocker spaniel pup & it's gonna be male, & I'm gonna name it Soda.

But see'n as my parents are dead set on my life bein' miserable (& have done a great job doing so, so far), I can probaby kiss Soda goodbye

See, already I love that dog & I haven't even got it yet!

-14 yrs. old

-Feb. 28, 1985

-original spellings and grammar

That is SO FUNNY to me now!!! By the way, sorry for calling you a brat, Kirsten! I love you! There are plenty of entries like that in the little black book. The whole book is simply oozing with self pity for several years. The topic might change, but the attitude is the same.

The interesting thing is, I don't remember life at home in my teen years with all that angst. I remember a lot of good times sledding in the Winter, playing in the yard (or 'tanning' as much as the Northwest climate would allow) in the Summer, and camping in the Fall. I remember rollerskating, climbing trees, and lazing away hours in some corner of the yard just reading a book.

I remember swimming in the pool dad took so much care to make 'just right'. Oh, the hours he spent smoothing the sand into the perfect indent before laying out the framework! It was in a secluded little spot just off the carport. There was AstroTurf around it and a bucket of water next to it to dip your feet in so that the pool water stayed clean. It was a circular above ground pool and all of us kids would race around in it going one direction until the water on the outer circumference was sloshing out and the center was deeply depressed. Then, on the count of three, we would all turn around and try to swim against the current we had created!

I remember Mom creating full 3 or 4 course dinners EVERY evening. The whole family sat down at the dinner table for a formal evening meal every night. I never appreciated that as a kid. Now I see it as a kind of miracle!

I talk a lot about going to Stake dances in the journal. I never mention the fact that Mom or Dad must have taken the time to drive me to them, then stay up late to come get me and bring me home again. I never even gave it a thought, when I was 15. Of course Mom and Dad are supposed to do that, that is what they exist for, right?

So, what is the point of all of this reminiscing? Many times I have felt horrible about the deterioration of my relationship with my kids. I worry that they will hate me forever and that we will never have the loving relationship we used to share. Looking back at this journal reassures me that that is simply not so. Teenagers see the world, and particularly their parents, through a very narrow lens. In time, they will see me once again through a lens of love and understanding, as I see my parents now.

As a footnote, while reading I have discovered that I was a terrible writer at the age of 15! What terrible spelling, handwriting, and grammar!!!! I am happy to report that Helena is a MUCH better writer than I was at her age.

Um, Mom? Can I have some lunch money?

Hey, Mom! I owe $2.00 for lunch money! The notice the lunch ladies keep putting in my box in the teacher work room is directed to the parent or guardian of Kate Watson. So, how 'bout it? Got some lunch money for me, Mom? Hee, hee, hee!

When I bought lunch last week, I asked the lunch lady (yes! we still call them that) if I had money in my account. She ran me through the computer, then told me I had 50 cents left. I translated that as 50 cents left after that meal.

Apparently not. I guess what she was saying was that I only had 50 cents before the transaction. A teacher lunch costs $2.50. I think that is a gross overpayment for the disgusting stuff they serve in the school cafeteria. I only go in there when I am desperate or foolishly hopeful that the item listed will actually be as palatable as it sounds on the menu. My hopes are always dashed, so why do I keep trying?!

I'll have to put a reminder in my phone to go give the ladies two bucks. I'll never remember to do it else.

Watching at the ballet studio

by Edgar Degas

Today, Will wanted to go over to Storm Athletics to practice Lacrosse. He could practice at the local elementary school without the drive time, but since it is over near the ballet school, I humor him. After I dropped him off, I headed over to the studio to watch the last 1/2 hour of Helena's rehearsals.

Helena's dance studio has ballet classes of all ages going on. When I arrived, the foyer was full of little bitties and their mommies. These are 3-4 year old dancers; just the age Helena was when she started! They are so full of energy!

I stepped over a couple of them laying on the floor and headed down the hall to the farthest studio in the building. It is the largest one, and so is reserved for the oldest and most experienced dancers in the school. The ages in that class range from 14 to 19. That is Helena's class. Dancers more experienced than that have moved on to the University/Pro stage and hold class/rehearsal somewhere else.

There were about 27 girls and their teacher in the room when I walked in. It is a good thing the room is so large! That is a lot of moving bodies! The room has a perpetual funk of sweaty dancer/stinky toe shoe smell. I have grown accustom to that, so I hardly noticed it.

There are 3 noticeable layers of girls in the room. Layer One are the girls in the front. They are the leaders, the girls with the main parts. The dance is being 'set' on them. They are working the hardest and interacting constantly with the teacher.

The girls in Layer Two are also hardworking. They are found just behind the main action, carefully attentive to all that is going on and shadowing the lead dancers to make sure that they know the part should they be called on to step in. Helena is one of these girls. They get comments and suggestions from the teacher from time to time.

The final layer, Layer 3, are the girls in the back of the room. They cluster and flitter about, sometimes paying attention, often not. They are the youngest/least experienced in the room and it shows. They talk together during rehearsal, apparently off task. That is something you never see in the other two groups. The teacher occasionally reprimands them, telling them to stop talking and pay attention. She doesn't spend much time on this, though, because she is so busy with the majority of the girls who are on task. Once they mature and get stronger in confidence and technique they will hopefully work their way into Layer Two.

You know, ballet looks so glamorous and graceful on the stage! It is when you watch this studio work that you realize just how much sweat, passion, and dedication go into it for each and every dancer. I am really proud of my little girl (now grown so tall and graceful) for all the hard work she puts into something she loves with a passion!

Oh, what a beautiful day!

I was going to go on another walk today, but decided to start transferring the food storage into the storage room from the garage. That was enough of a workout for today! It is good to see food starting to fill up those shelves.

I spent the evening just sitting in the back yard enjoying what I would consider perfect weather. Not too cold to sit in the shade and watch the dogs and the cats frolicking in the back yard. Yes, I said frolicking! Pepper has only recently been allowed to go outside now that he is over 6 months old. He is so funny to watch. He 'stalks' the other animals, then pounces. With the dogs, he just races up to them and swats them on the nose. I guess this is because, being dogs, they don't know the proper response. When Tigger gets "attacked" he wrestles with Pepper. I suspect that this is the response Pepper was hoping for in the first place.

Here is an update on Helena's portrait. I know it looks funky, but you have to remember it is a work in progress. My students love to check on it to see if it has changed from day to day. I even had a little girl (3rd grade) ask me why I was painting it these colors. She was tickled pink when I told her that was a very good question and told her that these are the colors of my daughter's room and that is where the painting will be going when finished. I am enjoying working with oil paints. I haven't done any oil painting in 20 years, so I think it is turning out fabulously considering my complete lack of experience in the medium!

Personal reflections

Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon listening to Conference and painting high gloss paint on the shelves of the basement storage room. Yes, I know how ironic it is that I was breaking the Sabbath while listening to the Prophet encourage us to choose the right!

Anyway, I knew the fumes were bad, but I didn't realize how bad until I started wheezing and coughing that night! I realized that part of my illnesses all winter were probably paint fume related! This morning I coughed up a lot of phlegm before being able to start my day. Still, I am excited to start loading those shelves with all the food storage scattered all over the house and garage!

It was a beautiful day today! I wanted to get up at 6 am and go 'jogging', but once again, I lacked the will power to make myself get out of bed! I determined not to let that be the end of it, however.

Helena has ballet every day from 3:30 to 6 or 6:30 in the evening. Today it was 6:30. Will had Lacrosse practice today from 5 until 6:30. That left me unencumbered for about an hour!

I decided that I would use the hour of alone time as 'me' time. I put on some exercise clothes and went! I took Bill's new mp3 player (that I got him for Valentine's Day), but discovered that the cat (Pepper, of course) had chewed on the earphone cord and they no longer work! Aurgh. That cat is going to electrocute himself one of these days!

I started at a jog, sans music, but quickly realized that would be a sure way to prevent further expeditions. After all, I will have an hour of alone time tomorrow and Thursday, too! So I settled down to a brisk walk.

It was wonderful out! I could smell flowers in bloom and I felt better about myself than I have in weeks! I also saw an old acquaintance from years ago. She said I looked really young for how old my kids have gotten and that I look just the same as she remembered. That was great to hear since I have been feeling old and run down lately.

So, hurray for Spring!

The dentist and the economy

Last month, when I went to the dentist, the hygienist apologetically told me they were out of toothbrushes and that I was "welcome to drop in next week to pick one up".

I told her not to worry about it.

Bill went to the dentist this morning and was not even offered a toothbrush at all at the end of his cleaning. He was offered the extra cost fluoride treatment, however.

It seems that the economic slump is hitting our dentist, too. When I was there and told them I had a teeth grinding problem at night, he got all excited for a moment talking about casting a mold for a custom fit tooth guard for me to wear at night. He looked quite crestfallen when I said I would prefer to try one of the inexpensive over the counter varieties first. After assuring me that he understood the economic reason I had given him, he then told me that he has had a decline in patients lately. It seems that even with their dental plans, some people are simply neglecting dental work to save money.

While I sympathize with my dentist's dilemma, I am also very thankful for my family's good teeth! My kids have never had a cavity in their lives (because they got their father's teeth), and I haven't had one in years due to diligence!

Sunday morning thoughts

Friday, Bill and I went on a date. We try to do this as often as the budget will allow. In fact, it is a family tradition. The kids get pizza, sodas, and a movie at home while Bill and I go out to eat. A couple of years ago, Helena complained that we were always going out without them; which we didn't do before. I pointed out to her that we didn't use to because they were too young to be left without a babysitter back then, and we couldn't afford to go often. Now, with a house full of teenagers, we are able to have more freedom. That is how they ended up with the pizza and sodas. The 'treat' dinner became compensation for being left behind.


Don't get me wrong, we do lots of family things and the kids aren't neglected at home, at all!


Anyway, this Friday, when dinner was done, Bill and I went to Deseret Book in search of a particular book.

I had seen this book in their mailing and thought it might be good for the kids. It is called "Why; Powerful Answers and Practical Reasons for Living LDS Standards".

Bill and I know our kids are good kids. Yet, we see so many go astray! Recently, one of Bill's nieces crossed path with the police. We heard about it first from the local news media, who released her name because she is now 19 and is standing the charges as an adult.

Oh, what grief and heartache for her parents! Truthfully, though, such things don't happen in a vacuum. She has been making poor choices and thwarting her parents' efforts on her behalf for years.

In light of that, we thought this book might be a good addition to our family library. It is written directly to teens and is highly entertaining reading. Helena was pleased to see we had bought it for them. I had shown her the ad to see her reaction to it before proceeding, I am not going to throw money away, after all!

It is full of practical reasons why we should remain morally clean, chaste, chose friends and media with care, and dress appropriately.








Recently, I installed a white board/bulletin board in the kitchen. We keep chore lists on it, and the shopping list grows on it each week.

Last week I decided it could serve another valuable purpose, too.

You see, the kids are always asking for stuff. "Mom, let's go rent a movie." or,
"Can I go to ___________ (fill it in with whatever event or leisure venue you can think of)?"
I try to keep life fun, but sometimes it is just not in the budget. When I tell the kids there is no money for it, they get frustrated, because they really don't know what the budget is.

Therefore, one column of the white board posts the current balance of the checking account, and itemizes all expenditures for the week. I explained to the kids that the savings is off limits and that wants can only happen when there is money left over at the bottom of the column after bills and needs are met. Also, I remind them that some of the events they want to participate in require substantial money and need to be planned in advance, so if there is money left over, it can be saved over time to meet those wants.

Boy, the requests and complaints have completely died out! I watched Will stare at the column in dismay on the day I received my paycheck. My check comes once a month and is used to pay for the mortgage and other 1st of the month bills. My entire check gets consumed in one day meeting those bills. I could almost see his thoughts...

"That's a ton of money! And it is all gone! We really pay that much each month for this house?!"

Our mortgage is actually pretty small, as such things go. But that would seem like a huge pile of money to a 12 year old.

I think it will be a valuable lesson in money management for them.

Stealth he is not

Bill refilled the bird feeder this afternoon. He left the window open so that the cats could hear the birds, then he waited.

Both cats were intently focused on the birds, but only Pepper acted on it. He tried to be all stealthy and silently leaped up on the counter.

For a while the birds either didn't notice him or ignored him, I'm not sure which. The moment he crossed "the line"...

... they were gone!

I can tell you, I am so very thrilled (not) that the cats now have another reason to jump up on my kitchen counter!

Co-Director of the ADULT section of the art show!

Oh. I thought she wanted me for the children's section. I am a children's art teacher, after all!

No. I am in charge of the adult division. I went to an arts council board meeting tonight and found that out.

Okay, then.

Sure hope I can at least LOOK like I know what I am doing!

SUSPENDED!

When I picked the kids up from school this afternoon, Will handed me this paper. I glanced at it long enough to see the word "Suspension" and set it aside so that I could kill him at my leisure and without Helena as a witness.

When we got home, as soon as Helena left the car, I turned to Will with murder in my eyes and he said...

APRIL FOOLS!

The little punk! :) He had gone to the Principal and asked for the suspension paper to prank me! The Principal agreed, but asked Will to keep it quiet because he hadn't planned on doing pranks and didn't want to get swamped with kids requesting it. The Assistant Principal was giving out prank in school suspension notices, that is probably what gave Will the idea.

I swear, his devious little mind was inherited from his father!