Haircuts

Yesterday Will and I went to Kristy for haircuts.  Normally, I cut Will's hair with the clippers.  At least, that is on the rare occasion when he lets me.  His has grown his hair out for a long time now until he looks like a shag.  I feel bad for him, because he wants his hair long, but he doesn't have the right kind of hair for that.  It just doesn't look good on him.

Anyways, I took him to Kristy, because she can actually cut and STYLE hair, whereas I just buzz it.

I should have just saved my money.  He hates his haircut.  He says it is too short and will stick up in the back.

The bottom line problem is that he doesn't actually DO his hair in the mornings, so the rooster tail inevitably pokes up and drives him crazy.  All he really needs to do is dunk his head in the sink in the morning and run some hair product through it with his fingers.  That's it.  But, apparently, even that is just too much hassle for him.  Heavy sigh.

The truth, though, is that he looks incredible with his hair freshly cut and styled!  He looks older, too.  I know I am biased since I am his mother, but I really think he looks good enough to be a model!

Clay Projects are going to be the Death of Me!

Urgh!!!  I am fed up to my eyeballs with clay projects!!!

The fifth grade has built their bowls and I am running my FIFTH bisque fire of them.  They are glazing this week and I just hope that I don't run out of glaze before they finish!  That would just be my luck.

I have had to give the 'keep it in perspective' speech to nearly every fifth grade class.  You see, a small percentage of breakage is pretty normal on a student clay project.  Some kids just don't follow instructions well enough and their bowls fall apart in the drying stage.  Others might break in the transfer to the kiln because the kids made them too thin or fragile.  Either way, it is devastating for the kid whose bowl broke.  I do get some tears.  I even occasionally get a parent calling me asking me to let their kid make a new one (grrrr!  Let your child experience life's disappointments!  Sheesh!) even though that would mean firing a practically empty kiln just for one child who didn't follow instructions in the first place.

What is the 'keep it in perspective' speech, you ask?  Here is a sum-up...

"I know that you are very excited about the clay bowls, and you will certainly feel really disappointed and sad if yours is one of the broken ones.  But I want to remind you that it will not change the course of your life if your fifth grade clay project breaks.  It won't change the course of human history, either.  So, it is really not a tragedy and doesn't deserve tears.  The tsunami in Japan WAS a tragedy, so were the tornadoes in Alabama!  Those are life changing historical events that deserve tears!  If your pet dies, that is a life changing event for you, and that deserved tears, too.  But, your fifth grade bowl?  C'mon!  No tears needed!"

After hearing that, the kids are much better about it and can mostly handle the disappointment of breakage.

The sixth grade is starting their clay projects today and I am really stressed about the lack of time left in the school year to complete them!  If only the kiln was bigger and I could fit more projects into it at once!  Gah!   I really hope I can get them all finished before the school year ends!  (13 school days left, you know)

What really gets me are the kids who come up to me and tell me; "I'll be gone for one of the clay building days, so...."  and then wait for me to tell them that it will be OK an I'll help them make up the lost day.  Harumph!!!  I am so sick of giving up my lunch for kids whose parents decide to pull them out for who knows what reason!  Sometimes it is for a wedding or funeral (when that is the case I try to be as helpful as I can),  but other times it is to go on a family mini-vacay, or to BABYSIT preschool siblings while mom and dad go off to do something else.  I AM NOT KIDDING!  Unbelievable!

We are so tight against the end of the year, I have simply told all and sundry that, NO, I cannot help anyone who will be absent and if they miss it, I am sorry, but that is just too bad.  I cannot slow down the clock and we have a hard deadline.  The End.

First Taste of Summer

Yesterday we had a BBQ in the back yard to celebrate the grass.  Kirsten and Paul came with their girls, and Erik and Deanna came with their boys.  Helena's best friend, Megan, joined us, and eventually Helena's friend, Daniel, stopped by as well.

It was so fun to watch Tori (2) running around the yard playing 'tag' with the bigger kids.  She just wanted to be 'it' all the time, so she giggled happily whenever anyone tagged her back.  Little Luke (1) getting stranded on his blanket in the middle of the grass because he refused to crawl out on it.  Watching Kris (11) and Dallin (9) trying to climb the cherry tree up to the tree-house.  We left off the first 'ladder rung' on purpose to discourage casual and 'too-young' climbers from adventures that may be too dangerous or out of their ability range... so kids really have to have some muscles and determination to get past that hurdle.  Neither of them made it, this time.  Baby Meg (4 or 5 months) being passed around for lots of kisses and cuddles.

The weather was fabulous, other than a bit of wind.  It was sunny and warm; almost too warm!  Upbeat music played in the background...oh, it felt SO GOOD!!!  Like a taste of summertime!

We had everything you could think of that was yummy to eat and we all ate too much of it.  Every time you thought you were simply done, something else would come out of the kitchen and tempt everyone.  For instance, not long after dinner, Erik brought out the desserts they brought with them (really delicious!), then Bill pulled out the ice cream and root beer for floats.  At about that time, Will was starting up the fire so it could be ready for s'mores after the root beer floats had settled in our stomachs.

The conversation was great, the weather was fabulous, and I had a really WONDERFUL time!  It makes me excited for summer vacation, which is only a few short weeks away!!!  It is time to go buy the 'summer china' and I am getting really happy!

Ahhhh!!!!!   Bring it on!!!

Grass at last!

At least, in the back yard.

We were able to buy enough sod to cover the back yard (the part we wanted to be grass, that is) and it arrived today.  We spent a couple of hours laying this evening and it looks ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!  I finally feel like I'll be able to use my back yard again!  This is so exciting to me!  I even bought some party lights to string out back this summer for back yard BBQ parties.

I haven't had a usable back yard since 2008.

The front yard still looks ghetto, but it feels REALLY good to have some grass in the back!

Here are some before and after photos...

 

Pictures from last Saturday

Here a some of the pictures that Helena took last Saturday, both at the half marathon and in SLC.

As I approach the finish line...

It was really wonderful to have everyone there cheering me and telling me how proud they were of me!

You know, I lost 10 pounds while training for the first half marathon.  I hope to loose another 10 training for the next one!

I Survived!

Here are my race results from today's half marathon...

Place

Name

City

Bib No

Age

Overall

Chip Time

Gun Time

Pace

50

Kate Watson

American Fork UT

H0993

40

795

2:43:20.8

2:45:02.8

12:28/M

That is 50th place for my age group (Women aged 40-44).  There were only 58 in my age group, so you can see I have lots of room for improvement.  I was 795th overall (out of 912 who finished the race). 

Still, I DID IT!  This has been no small thing.  I have heard of an exercise movement called Couch Potato to 5K... I went from a couch potato to a half marathon!

Bill drove me there and waited with me until the start of the race.   He came back with the kids + Megan to ring me across the finish line with the cow bells we picked up at his last big race.  I was able to save up one last burst of energy so that I could jog across the finish.

The race course was very beautiful, but WAY too hilly!  Oi!  The hills just about killed me!  I had to walk almost every single one... both up and down.  The steep downs hurt my knee and my cardio level wasn't up the the inclines.  I managed to stay with the last pacer for the first 2 miles.  She was maintaining a 2 hr 20 min pace.  But I just couldn't sustain that speed and had to fall back.  I also now have a very good idea of what the Thanksgiving Point golf course cart road pavement looks like, since I stared at it for so long as I trudged along.

I am so glad that I am done! 

Now I have about 6 or 7 weeks until the next half marathon on June 11th.  I am going to design a training schedule so that I can speed up and get a better time on that one!

For now, though.  I just want to sleep.  First, however, we need to head up to Salt Lake City and attend the Japanese Festival so that Will can get the extra credit point for going to it. 

Half Marathon is Tomorrow!

The race is tomorrow morning and I am super nervous!  The weather is supposed to be unseasonably cold, too.  That is doubly bad because I don't want to run in cold, wet, rainy weather so it cuts my desire to do this down to practically nothing; and because cold weather aggravates the exercise induced asthma.  Extra frustrating!

I am going to stop by Thanksgiving Point on my way home from work today to pick up my race packet.  They are reporting over 1,050 racers registered for this race.

I am nervous!  I just can't wait for it to be over at this point.  Bill says I should have a windbreaker/slicker with ventilation for the rain.  I don't have one.  Maybe I should buy one tonight?

Wish me luck!

High School Registration for Will!

Registration is SO STRESSFUL!  Gah!

The registration program went live at 3:30.  We were ready and signed in right at 3:30, but... no link.

At 3:37... still no link.

Hmm.

Then Will noticed something at the top of the page.  He saw a drop down menu that currently said 'American Fork Junior High'.  We clicked on it and saw that there was an option to change it to 'American Fork High School'.  As soon as we selected the high school, THE LINK APPEARED! 

DOUBLE GAH!!

That meant that we missed 7 minutes of registration opportunity!

You might think that is overly dramatic, but we were unable to register Will for the specific English teacher we wanted because during those seven minutes, his English classes completely filled.  That's right.  Seven minutes.  He is the most popular teacher in the school.  Literally.

Ah, well.  Will is now registered for his sophomore year of high school.  I wasn't able to get the math teacher I wanted for him, or the US History class I wanted him to take (all US Hist classes were full long before sophomore registration because it is typically taken in junior year).  But, he has an excellent schedule nonetheless.

Here it is...

A Day

1. Seminary
2. Art Foundations/Woodworking
3. English 10
4. Computer Tech./Health

B Day

1. Algebra 2
2. Chemistry
3. Computer Science
4. Japanese 2

Classes listed next to each other with a slash are single semester classes.  The computer science class is a programming class.  Will is seriously interested in becoming a game design engineer.  He  knows that U of U offers an engineering degree specifically in game design and that is what he is aiming for.  This will be a good first step in finding out if that is truly where his interests and talent take him. 

Whew!  Glad that's done for another year!

Dentist today

The kids and I had our six month check up today.  I have to say, I am getting less and less satisfied with this dentist.  The hygienist does do a quick and thorough job, I admit.  But, then I end up laying in the chair for half an hour (with the kids both sitting there waiting, too... and getting hungry) until the dentist finally breezes in and spends less than 5 minutes looking at all three of our sets of x-rays.  He gives a quick verdict and then breezes off without even saying good bye!  Then, of course, there is the fact that the kids and I have not been given toothbrushes and whatnot in over two years!  I might have thought this was due to office cutbacks with the bad economy, but they never fail to give Bill a take home packet when he has his check up!  What's up with that?!  I ended up having to ask for them this time, after which the hygienist filled a goody bag for us, but she was not planning on giving us anything before I asked.

Anyways, the bad news is that Helena has two cavities.  The first of her life.  Poor girl!  She is scheduled to have them fixed two weeks from today.  I offered to go with her, but she said she'd rather go alone.  So, I told her I would put the cost of it into her account and she can drive herself and pay for it, too. 

One Week Until the Race

Today I ran 8 miles on the treadmill and feel just great!  It took 1 hr. and 36 min.  Endorphins are wonderful things.  I can always make myself feel better by burning some calories.  In this case, a LOT of calories! 

1,317 calories according to the machine. 

The Thanksgiving Point half marathon is exactly one week away and I am excited/nervous.  I have never done anything like this before and I am afraid I'll mess it up somehow. 

• What if I take a wrong turn at some point?  Goofy to worry about, I know.  The route will probably be well marked.  
• What if I go so slow that the aid/water stations pack up and go home before I finish? 
• What if it rains?
• What if I get shin splints?
• What if I can't breathe when it is over?

Most of those questions are facetious, but that last question has been on my mind a lot, lately.  I have discovered I have EIA.  That stands for exercise induced asthma.  If I run too far, or in too cold of weather, I have an asthma attack AFTER running (not during).  It is weird.  I can run and run... and run for just about forever at a nice slow 5 mile/hour pace.  But when I stop, or if I push it faster, holy cow!  I cough and wheeze like a chain smoker!  I didn't today, because I chose to run on a treadmill in the hot and slightly humid cardio room at the gym.  That is gentle on my lungs.  Though you should have seen me at the end, I was SOAKED!  When I came home for my cool down before showering, you could see white salt residue all over me from sweating so much.  Hee, hee!  It makes me happy to sweat.  I am so weird.

If the asthma turns out to be a problem after this first race, I'll go to the doctor for an inhaler in order to be prepared for the next race!

To Tell the Truth

I haven't written much lately.  That happens when life becomes too stressful and I don't have anything upbeat or humorous to say.   I would love to use this blog to vent, but I have been reluctant to do that from the start because it is read by others.  I don't need advice.  I don't even want encouragement, ungrateful though that sounds.  So, I have kept this blog sunny and cheerful (for the most part), leaving out life's darker, less appealing side.

But today I am going to write it.  All of it.

Well, not all of it.  Some of the things that get me depressed are too dark and deep to be brought into the light.  So, just know that all of what I am about to write is surface depression and that there are a few more deep wounds that I will never share with anyone... for any reason.

First, I feel like I need to explain why it is so hard for me to share.  I was raised by a Norwegian man and a southern woman.  That might sound off the point, but really, it isn't.  My Norwegian father taught me to keep my emotions bottled up.  Norwegians are stoic.  No one else really cares about what you are going through, just the results you can achieve.  My southern mother taught me that no matter how awful things might be on the inside, a true lady will never let it show.  She will smile and show the world that everything is just wonderful, even if it isn't.

So, that is what I have done.  All my life.  When things got too tough, it is easiest to just isolate myself.  I pull away from friends and family.  In that way, I can insulate myself from feeling more.

But, every once in a while, it all gets to be too much and I boil over.  Something prevents me from isolating myself.  My temper flares and I end up saying or doing things I regret later.

Anyways.  Here goes with my list of surface depressants.  In no particular order.

• Finances.  We always seem to run out of paycheck before the end of the month.  I did the taxes and was shocked and dismayed to see just how much money we made last year.  Dismayed because we have literally NOTHING to show for all that work.  We ended up owing an additional $500 in taxes.  On the up side, we had the money to pay it.  The down side?  That is all the money we had. Period.  Now we are mid week with no money to even make it to Friday and bills coming due.  I am 40 years old.  I should have a better handle on things.  We should have a comfortable emergency fund and a healthy nest egg growing for retirement.  I shouldn't have to stress out because my daughter is out of lunch money and I have neither sack lunch groceries nor money to give her.  I really have no one to blame but myself.

• iPod.  It is still broken.  Repairing it is just an expense I can't afford.  I run my first ever half marathon in 1 1/2 weeks.  I will have to use an old mp3 player that has a very limited song list on it.  At least I can feel grateful I have that much. 

• Kids not going to church.  This one is ambiguous.  I struggle with church attendance sometimes, too.  I dislike the stereotype of "Utah Mormons", but like every stereotype, there is a reason it exists.  I think everyone in my family struggles with frustration over the views and attitudes of some of our more narrow minded neighbors.  It is hard to go to church for the gospel's sake when the people there drive you up the wall.

• Being a ( ____ ) Mother.  I really don't think I am a very good mother.  I lack the determination to follow through on discipline.  Chores don't get done and I fail to notice.  I will have asked one of the kids to do something, then fail to pay attention to whether they are doing it or not.  The result of that is that my kids have been trained to say 'yes, I'll do it', then blow it off and not do it at all.  This has bled through to their attitude about school work, which is why both of them struggle with bad grades.  So, while I rail on them to be better students, inside I know it is my fault they aren't because I trained them (inadvertently) to procrastinate.

• Work.  The easiest part of my life.  For the most part, I like what I do.  However, being treated like a second class citizen can really run me down.  Who treats me like a second class citizen?  Many of the other teachers.  In their opinion, stated or otherwise, I am there to provide babysitting time for them while they take their prep time.  To them, the students are always 'theirs', never 'mine'.  If they want to keep someone for an extra 10 minutes, then send them to me mid-lesson, I should just suck it up and deal with it because I am not a 'real' teacher and what I teach is 'fluff'.  If I am late to release the class before theirs so I impinge on their prep time, they get irate.  If they are late bringing their class to me, though, there is no apology and no guilt.  Also, since I am only 'part time' instead of 'full time', I receive a reduced classroom budget.  1,100 students and 3/4 the money a 'regular' classroom teacher gets with his/her 24-36 students.  I also get to pay medical insurance premiums that my 'full time' counterparts don't pay.  Oh, and let's not forget that next year I get to do all of this for less money, since my contract is being reduced.  Less income, more medical insurance premiums, and a smaller classroom budget.  Can't wait.

• House and yard.  When I get depressed, I shut down.  Usually, I read.  Other people have praised me for my reading prowess.  But really?  When I bury myself in a book, it is because I am taking shelter and escaping from my own life, which I find intolerable.  For the past couple of weeks I have buried myself in watching old episodes of 'Bones' on Netflix.  I literally shut out the world as a coping mechanism.  That means that nothing else has gotten done.  The house is a mess.  The messier it gets, the less I want to clean it.  I did clean most of the upstairs today before sitting down to write this, but only because my daughter shamed me into it.  The yard is still a muddy, dirty mess.  I haven't had pride in my yard for over two years now.  I feel ashamed every time I look at it, which is every day.

• And this brings me to why I am writing this in the first place.  Helena's accusations.  She was annoyed with me today and told me some of what she thinks of me.  It hurts to hear her tell me that I am not a good mother or a good friend.  That I am selfish and that is why no one likes me.  That all I ever do is sit on my computer and watch 'Bones'.  That I ought to get off my butt and clean the house.  That I don't know how to be anything other than a teacher.  She said 'teacher' like it was a dirty word.  That I ought to listen without trying to solve. 

So, thanks, Helena.  You are right.  On all counts.  I am selfish and self absorbed.  But I thought it was worth writing this to, what?  Justify myself?  Explain that there is more going on than is seen on the surface?  That even though I have vented about the minor things that get me depressed, they aren't even the true deep down reasons?

I don't know.  Sorry for subjecting you to this rant.  Hopefully I will have something cheerful to write about soon.

Tax Day

Ugh.

Usually I get the taxes done in February and we have spent our refund long before April 15th rolls around.

This year I procrastinated.  Somehow I was dreading doing them this year.

Now I realize why.

We aren't getting a refund.

In fact, we owe more than what was withheld.

I can't figure out why that is.  Our income did not substantially increase.  There really was very little difference between last year and this year on our end of the stick.  Apparently the new tax laws were designed to stick it to us?

We owe an additional $500.  Grr!

So, I waited and didn't file until today.  The last possible day before incurring a penalty.

I am in a grumpy mood.