Thanksgiving 2011

We had no special plans this Thanksgiving.  We didn't travel anywhere.  We didn't invite anyone over.

We just had a Thanksgiving with the kids.

In spite of the fact that it was so laid back, we did, in fact, cook the traditional Thanksgiving feast.  Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, and a salad (the spinach/almond/cranberry kind).  I set the table with the fine china, too.

Growing up, Bill and I had very different Thanksgiving experiences.  His family was large and very informal.  They ate off of paper to save on dishes.  Those who were done eating left the table.  It was more of a party atmosphere.

My family was (and still is) very European formal when it came to meals.  Everyone sat together for the entire meal.  You were not dismissed from the table until the meal was over.  If you wanted to leave the table early, you asked permission.  That was just for every day meals.  Special occasion meals were even more formal.  China and real silverware was used.  The serving utensils were made of pewter and were from Norway.  The table was set with every attention to proper etiquette.  We were expected to follow proper etiquette.  We dressed for dinner.  Even if no one else was coming over.

I railed over that last one as a kid.  I didn't see the need to put on a dress when it was just us.  I whined and belly ached over it, but always ended up obeying, because Mom and Dad wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.  However, once we were all sitting together around the table, our clothes seemed to match the table settings and I enjoyed the fancier feeling of the meal.

Now Bill and I sort of glom together our two experiences of Thanksgiving.  We are more casual around the table, and we don't force everyone to dress up.  But I do set the china, as a nod to my past.  I will admit, though, that I miss the formal feeling that dressing up for dinner creates.  The feeling that this meal is special and different.

Of course, the fact that we are all, in fact, sitting around the table together for a meal is special and different, since it happens so rarely these days.

This is my parents' old china set.  It is called 'Greenleaf' and is from Japan.  There are a few missing pieces and a broken creamer.  I have it registered at an online china registry, so if they ever find any pieces, they'll contact me.  It has been over 5 years now, and they still can't find any pieces.

When Mom and Dad got a new china set, I convinced Mom to give me this old set.  I absolutely love it for all the memories it brings back!  I have served Christmas and Thanksgiving feasts on it ever since it became mine, and I hope it brings fond memories to my children, as well.  I even bought a china hutch just so I could store it safely.

I tried a new sweet potato recipe this year.  It has marshmallows and pecans on top.

Bill and Will thought Helena and I had gone nuts because we kept taking pictures of the table settings and our food.  I guess it is just the artist in each of us, or the journalist... or maybe a little of both!

A couple of years ago, Kirsten and Paul had everybody over for Thanksgiving and she served the most amazing soufflé!  She was kind enough to give me the recipe and it has replace the traditional pies for us as a Thanksgiving dessert.  It is a spiced pumpkin soufflé with whipped cream and caramel topping.

I'm pretty sure Helena's photos turned out better than mine!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

18 years

I searched all over the house until I finally found the journal I kept at the time my daughter, Helena, was born.  I have always kept a journal my entire life.  At least my entire life since I was 8 years old.  This blog took over as my 'journal' in 2009 and I have not written in a formal paper bound book since.  But I still have my old journals.  In this case, I wanted to look up what I wrote when Helena was born.

I was hoping I had written some inspiring words of the love a new mom feels for her first born.

No such luck.  Just a blow by blow of the labor and delivery.  I'll spare you.

Phooey.

Looking back on those entries from her first months of life makes me realize just how YOUNG and inexperienced we were!  We were just kids ourselves!

I remember a feeling of panic when I realized that the doctors and nurses at the hospital were just going to send this fragile little whiff of life home with me.  ME!  That I was suddenly responsible for the life of another human being.

I was terrified.  To put it mildly.

Mom came to stay for a week.  I remember her telling me I shouldn't be so quiet around the baby, or she would startle awake at the smallest sound.  She needed to be used to a noisy environment.  But, my life was a quiet one.  I wasn't 'being quiet' for the baby... I was always quiet naturally.  So, I went out of my way to make the house noisier for little Helena.

Did you know that, at first, Helena had a nickname?

We tried to call her "Hailey" for a couple of weeks.  That's as long as it lasted.  The name didn't stick.  Weird as it sounds, she simply wasn't anything other than elegant and graceful "Helena".  I can't explain it any better than that.

Here we are, 18 years later.  Life's roller coaster has had many ups and downs since then.  Helena was our guinea pig while we learned what it was to be parents.  We are still learning.  She is still the guinea pig.  Sorry, sweetie.

But, I'll tell you one thing.  I didn't know what it was to truly love another person until Helena was born.

Let me rephrase that.  I didn't know what it was to love someone else MORE than life itself.  To love so much that it is painful.  To have a part of your own heart walking around outside of yourself, residing in the body of another.

I think the love of a mother for her child is the closest any mortal gets to understanding the divine love of God.

Such an exquisite agony.

And now, she is 18 years old and taking her first steps into the realms of adulthood.  Thinking she is ready,  feeling oh-so-grown up.  But she is still my little girl, the one I would die for rather than see her suffer.

And I love her more than she will ever know...

... at least, until she becomes a mother.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Helena.

Preference 2011

Helena and Megan double dated for Preference this year.  Megan took her boyfriend, Dalan, and Helena took Dalan's golfing buddy, Braxton.  I don't have a picture of the group because the girls were in charge of this one and picked the boys up.  They joined a larger Preference group and had the 'day date' on the Friday evening before the dance by going to someone's house to play games.  They took the boys to the Pizza Factory for dinner, then to the dance.  I don't really have much to say, other than I think they had fun.  I just knew you'd like to see the pictures of their dresses!

The Changing of the Guard

Today we received a new Bishopric in church.

There is no paid clergy in my church.  Each congregation is lead by a Bishop, who is called from the congregation for a period of time (usually around 5 years) to act as the leader of the congregation.  It is a huge sacrifice and commitment for the man serving, and to his family, too.  The Bishop leads and directs the congregation, performs weddings, oversees funerals, directs the use of welfare funds for the poor, checks on the orphans and widows, and hears confessions of those who need church help in overcoming sins.  All of this while still working at his normal job to support his family.

Our Bishop up until today has been Bishop Brailsford, a neighbor and friend of ours.  We are roughly the same age and our children have grown up together.  The new Bishop is Bishop Rowley, an older, retired gentleman in the congregation that we have known for years, though not well.  He got up to speak for the first time as our Bishop and I was glad to hear that he has a sense of humor.  I think that is important in a man of God.  He told a story about his grandfather's old plow horse who had been retired from the traces, yet still walked out to the plow every day, waiting to be hitched up and work.  Finally, the grandfather humored the old horse and hitched him to the plow and let him furrow a field.  The horse died in the traces.  Bishop Rowley joked that he hopefully wouldn't 'die in the traces'.  It doesn't sound very funny in print, but it sounded cute and funny when he said it over the pulpit.  He also said he thought he might make a list of his 22 worst character flaws, to save us the hassle of discovering them over the course of his service as the Bishop.  Then he decided against it, saying it would be more entertaining for us to discover them along the way.  He then bore testimony of the divinity of Christ.

Food Coma No. 2

Oh dear.

I am going to gain some weight this week.

It is inevitable.

Yesterday, I told you about my over stuffed gourmet shrimp tacos at Rubio's.  That was food coma no. 1.

Today, I took Helena to Tucanos Brazilian Grill for her birthday dinner.  Every person in our family is a member of the Tucano's birthday club.  That means that we each get a birthday postcard inviting us in to the restaurant for a free meal during the month of our birth... with the purchase of another meal.

Tucanos is a $25-$35/person kind of place, so it isn't the type of place we would take the entire family.  So, when taking one of the kids for their birthday meal, only one parent goes to save the budget a bit.  Since Tucanos isn't very gluten-free friendly, that parent ends up being me.

Yup.  I was a good soldier and took a bullet for the team.

Tucanos is SO YUMMY!  It is a buffet style restaurant with a twist.  The side dishes are on the buffet.  The main 'dishes' are the various different cuts of meats that are brought around on skewers by servers.  We had everything from teriyaki chicken wings, to battered cod in mango sauce, to chicken hearts, to fillet Mignon!  OK, I did NOT have the chicken hearts, but Helena did.  There is a wooden 'hour glass' on the table with two different colored sides.  If you put the green side up, servers will keep coming around offering new items.  If you put the red side up, you are telling the servers you want a break, or you're done.

I ate way too much!  My stomach hurt.  I have been watching portion control for so long that my body just about couldn't handle all that food.  I thought I might be sick.  But before the tummy ache, I started slipping into food coma no. 2.

The bad thing is, I expect there to be a food coma no. 3 event, a food coma no. 4 event, and possibly a food coma no. 5 event... all throughout this week.  And I can't run it off.

I predict at least 10 lbs. gained.  Oh, but they will be yummy pounds!

Here's to the Holidays!

For the Love of Avocados

Friday night is date night.  So I waited for Bill to get home.  And waited.  And waited.

He arrived home from work at 9:15 pm.

Poor guy!

It was a cold, snowy, miserable, frustrating, and never ending work day for him.  He quickly showered and we headed out to find some dinner for our date.  We weren't optimistic, though.  It was just after 9:30 ... closing time for our favorite, Rubio's.

When we got there, the doors were locked.  They were closed.  We walked back to the car to leave and try to find an option B that was still open.

That's when it happened.

The manager, Luis, came hurrying out of the restaurant to invite us inside for dinner.

I tried to tell him it was OK, that they had already started their clean up and they didn't need to go to any extra effort for us, but he wouldn't hear of it.  He insisted.

So we did.

That was the best dinner!

They brought us out a plate full of chips, pico, and guacamole.  I mean it was loaded!  We hadn't ordered it, they just felt we'd like to have it while we waited for our food.  Luis said they'd just have to throw it out anyways, so we might as well enjoy it.

My tacos were so overloaded that I couldn't finish them, but, OH!  They were fabulous!  And an extra side for our chips?  A bowl full of guacamole.  Not a cup... a BOWL.

We love avocados.  I mean, really LOVE AVOCADOS!  We buy 8-10 of them every week and usually run out before the end of the week.

So here's another shout out to Rubio's Fresh Beach Mex!  They really are the best!

Training setbacks

You know I completed two half marathons last spring/summer.  And a sprint triathlon in the summer.

I wanted to springboard off of those and work really hard this fall/winter to push my running to a new level (aka, actually RUNNING instead of some jog/walk mutation).  I was even planning to switch my training back to runner only style workouts instead of the swim/run/bike stuff I did all summer.  After all, I'm scheduled to run a full marathon in June, so I need to focus my energy on technique and stamina.

There is just one problem.

I can't run.

I can't even jog.  My back is so tight!  I tried a treadmill workout and failed pretty bad.  I ended up walking and gave up 20 minutes into it.  I can't even do a 5K.

I thought whiplash was a neck thing.  You always see whiplash victims in those goofy looking neck braces in the TV shows.  No neck brace for me.  Just a messed up back.  There is a spot midway down my spine that feels like someone punched it.  Hard.  All the muscles in my back complain when I fill my lungs with air (so the rib cage expands), but that 'punch spot' complains most of all.  Can you imagine what that is like when trying to run?  Can't do it.

So I'm not allowed to run or jog.  Doctors orders.  Just non-impact stuff, like swimming and spin class.

Great.  Instead of a running only training schedule, I'm down to swim/bike.  Except spin class was hard on my lower back and my knee, even though I took it easy.  I've never had knee problems before.  I tried swimming tonight.  I'll see how my back feels in the morning.  I usually swim a mile.  Today I didn't even do half of that.  I don't dare do too much for fear of preventing healing.

Boy, that is a fine line.  I'm supposed to stretch and do as much exercise as my body will allow, while being careful not to over extend and cause more damage.  This is really messing up my training.

Back on the Wagon

Or, at least, struggling to be.

I took a doctor ordered holiday from my exercise routine.  Now I have to get myself motivated to get back in the rhythm again.  That is so hard to do!

This post won't make any sense to those of you who have lived an active lifestyle your entire lives.  Nor will it make much sense to those of you who have been lifelong couch potatoes, either.  But if you are like me, a reformed couch potato who has known what it feels like to be 'in shape', but also what it feels like to enjoy being lazy on the couch, you can probably relate.

I know I need to exercise daily.  I know it.  I know it.  I know it!  At least, my brain knows it.  Or rather, a part of my brain.  We'll call that part Kate, because the new me (with the new nickname... I've only had that nickname for 6 years now) wants to be healthier.  The other part of my brain we'll call Kathy, because that is the old nickname from childhood, and the old me was a couch potato with bad exercise habits.  So, here is a typical argument that takes place inside my head on a pretty regular basis.

(BTW, if you don't talk to yourself inside your head, then you must be the weird one, because I am certainly NOT weird!)

Kathy:  "It has been a long and slightly frustrating day at work.  The couch is warm and soft, and there is lots to entertain on the computer."

Kate:  "You are signed up for a marathon."

Kathy:  "Yeah, but that is a long time away.  June.  That's, like, forever.  I'll have plenty of time to train for that... later."

Kate:  "Later has a scary way of turning into 'Never'.  You need to get to the gym."

Kathy:  "The computer makes a nice heater.  And it's is cold out there."

Kate:  "Fat makes a nice heater, too.  You keep sitting there and you'll have plenty of fat to keep you warm.  Stop being a wimp, put on a jacket and get out the door."

Kathy:  "Phttt.  One day.  So what if I just skip one day.  You can't tell me that skipping one day with make me fat."

Kate:  "Oh, yes I can.  It'll just make it harder to go tomorrow if you skip today.  You need to go."

Kathy:  "You need to go, you need to go (said in an annoying sing-song voice).  You are SUCH  broken record!"

Kate:  "Let's try to be mature, here.  You always feel so much happier afterwards..."

Kathy:  "Yeah, I know.  But I just don't want to get up.  And I'm watching Lost right now..."

Kate:  "ON NETFLIX!  You can watch that anytime!  I need to sweat.  I like it when it beads up on my shoulders."

Kathy:  "K.  Now you're just weird."

Kate:

Kathy:  "Ew.  Now you're being rude."

Kate:  "No.  I'm being a realist.  Get to the gym."

Kathy:  "Gah!!!  OK!  Geez.  That is so gross!  I'm going."

Kate:

Kathy:  "OK. I'm with you, now."






And so, I go.  But not without that same battle every time...

You don't want to hear the internal arguments about food.  Especially since Kathy is winning those, for now.

Car Accident Update

I don't always have a lot to say.  There are gaps in my writing.  I am sorry.  There are just some days that aren't that interesting to write about.  I am not egotistical enough to think that the world wants a blow-by-blow of my daily life, so if I am not inspired on any particular day, I won't write.

My last post was pretty depressing.  That was a truly rough day.  It seemed as though life was trying to beat me down with wave after wave of bad news and conflict.  But, as with most dark days, it couldn't last.  The next day was better.  The bad news didn't go away, of course, and we're still faced with it, but it is not in my nature to brood, mope, or hold a grudge.  Ah.  My redeeming qualities.  I knew I'd figure them out someday.

First of all, an update on the car situation seems to be in order.

Bill, Steven, and Erik all looked at the car and thought it would be a total loss.  My insurance company came out to my school the day after the accident to take pictures and assess the damage, but I didn't hear from the insurance of the girl that hit me.  That got me wondering, so I ended up calling her insurance to report the accident myself.  She had never called them.

Throughout the week, I got multiple phone calls from her insurance, my insurance, and a tow company.  Every call ratcheted up my stress level because I felt like I needed to act NOW and I didn't know what to do.  About mid-week, her insurance sent someone out to my school to take pictures and assess the damage.  He sent me a text to tell me that he was coming, then another to tell me that he had LEFT A CHECK ON MY WINDSHIELD for the cost of the damages!  A check for over $2,400.00 left in the open in a public parking lot?!?

Excuse me?

I called him back and asked him what in the world I was supposed to do with the check?!?  He gave me some garbage about being told that I didn't want to repair the car and just wanted the money for damages.  I gave him an earful and told him I had no intention of cashing that check.

My insurance company has decided the car is a total loss.  They want a towing company to pick it up and take it directly to an inspection yard.  Her insurance company wants me to choose a repair shop and have it repaired, though they admit that once the shop begins to work, they will probably reassess and claim total loss, too.

I have stressed all week about what to do.  Do I go with my insurance or hers?  Option A or option B?

We're going to do option C.

We're going to keep the car, after all.  The insurance will give us a salvage $ amount (which will be more than the amount on the check the moron left on my windshield).  It isn't as much money as the total loss $ amount.  It seems crazy not to go with the biggest payout amount, but bear with me.  The total loss amount requires that we give them the car and find a replacement for it.  The amount will not be enough to buy something decent.  At least, not without a whole lot of looking and luck.  We don't want to end up with a car payment on a car that we intend to send with Helena to college.  We know the Alero.  We know that we've taken good care of the engine and that it should last a good long while, still.  We can pull the rear end of the car back into shape without worrying about cosmetic details for not a lot of money.  I can put the rest into a 6 month CD and sit on it until spring.  Then I'll use it as a down payment on a car for me.  I don't want to get  a car for me in the middle of the holiday season, because then its renewal will hit at the holidays every year.

So, there you have it.  Helena will end up with a knock about salvage title for college and I have 6 months to work out exactly what I want to get for myself to drive.  I really want a sports car, but it will probably end up being an SUV or crossover of some kind with 4WD and room for a bike and/or skis.  I live in Utah, after all.

Wallowing

Today was a seriously horrible day, for lots of reasons that I don't want to go into right now.  I could spend paragraph after paragraph telling you all about all the things that went wrong today that left me in tears more than once over the course of the day, and over different reasons each time.

But I won't.  One; I don't want to relive the feelings I have been feeling and writing them down will just make me cry again.  Two; I don't want to be consoled and told that everything will be alright if I just do A, B, and/or C.  And three; telling it won't make it go away or fix any of it.

So, with that completely unfulfilling post I will say good night.  I hope things will seem brighter in the morning, because life seems very bleak to me in the dark of this night.

Day Full of Doctors

For being a day off, today felt like a lot of work.

I took Helena to her doctor this morning to be checked out after the accident last Thursday.  Her back is stiff and sore.  He ordered back x-rays to make sure nothing is out of alignment.  So, we went straight over to the hospital to get that done.  By the time I got her to school, she had missed first through third periods.  All that was left was lunch and fourth.  Ah well.

After dropping her back at school, I went straight to the physical therapist.  His name is Russ.  We (meaning Bill) know Russ very well.  Bill and Russ have been mountain biking buddies for quite a while, now.  And Russ helped Bill regain the use of his right arm after the monster reconstruct of it this summer. In fact, Russ told me today that 1) he is very impressed with the surgeon's skill in rebuilding Bill's arm, and 2) Bill is an 'animal' when it comes to both mountain biking and physical therapy to regain total use of the arm.

Physical therapy was awesome!  I have never had it before, so I didn't know what to expect.  He asked questions about the accident and what my body did in the crash.  Then he poked and prodded, twisted and turned my neck and back asking what hurt and what my range of motion was.  Once he established that, he worked out a schedule of stretching exercises for me to do so that, as the muscles heal, they will remain long and stretchy instead of tight and constricted with scar tissue.  Then I had electrodes placed on my back and neck while heat was applied.  That felt tingly, but not bad.  After that, they used ultrasound waves to send heat into the deep muscle tissue.  That didn't feel like anything.

Then, I got a back massage!  Other than the sore parts, that felt great!  Finally, Russ pulled and pushed a bit and made sure I could explain to him all my homework stretches before sending me on my way with a schedule of return visits for the week.

After therapy, I just had enough time to get to the pharmacy to fill some prescriptions before picking the kids up from school.

Then it was off to do the groceries that had been neglected over the weekend (because I was too sore and tired to do it).

Finally, the kids and I went to our dentist appointments.  Those had been scheduled 6 months ago.  Once again, Will has no cavities.  I don't know how the kid does it, but I am not complaining!  I, too, passed with flying colors, but Helena wasn't so lucky.  She has a cavity that will have to be taken care of next week.  Boo.

We stopped at Wendy's on the way home.  That is a standing tradition.  Those with no cavities get to have a fast food meal of their choice.  Will wanted a Baconator (ugh).  By the time we got home for the day it was after 5 pm and I was beat!  It really was a day full of doctors.

Car Accident!

On Thursday afternoon, I hurried home from work to pick up Helena and take her to a doctor's appointment.  Just a routine, every day kind of checkup.  However, getting from point A to point B in Utah County these days is an exercise in frustration, no matter which path you choose to take.  Road construction has turned into some kind of mutating virus in the county.  There is no where I can go without running into orange construction cones and flaggers standing there with a stop sign.  I am not exaggerating.  I only wish I was!

As I drove from American Fork to the doctor's office in Orem, I contemplated the pros and cons of side road construction vs. freeway construction.  It was only a little after 4:00, so I thought the freeway would be my best choice, because then I wouldn't have flaggers stopping me.

That turned out to be the wrong choice.

There was a long line of cars trying to merge onto the freeway from the on-ramp when a semi drove past in the merging lane.  The ramp is short, and the cars on it came to a complete stop, unable to merge due to the semi.  YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO COME TO A STOP ON THE ON-RAMP!  But, of course, I had to stop because the cars in front of me were stopped.

The car behind me didn't stop.

You know how you glance in your rear view mirror as you hit your brakes... to check and see if the car behind you notices you are slowing down?  Or is that just me?  Well, I glanced in the rear view and thought she was stopping, so I turned my attention forward because I was a bit freaked to be stopped in the first place when suddenly, with a loud metal punching sound, we lurched forward!  My sunglasses flew off my head as my head snapped backwards, then my whole body surged forward and my head hit the sun visor above the windshield.  I had my whole body weight pressing on the brake pedal, but that didn't stop us from being pushed into the car in front of me.

I said a few choice words and pulled off to the side, along with both the car in front of me and the car behind.  I asked Helena if she was alright.  I knew her head had done the same pinball maneuver mine had; I had seen it in my peripheral vision.  Before the accident, she had been reading a book.  The book was now at my feet.  I was shaking and disoriented.  Just moments before I had tucked my phone under my leg, but now I couldn't remember where it was so I could call 911.

Fortunately, I didn't need to.  The moment I found my phone I looked through the rear view mirror and saw lights flashing behind us.  A patrol car was already on the scene.  He must have been just a few cars behind us on the ramp.  I was so glad!  Only a few moments later, another patrol car arrived.  The first officer talked with the second, then drove away.  The second was a highway patrol.  I wonder if the first was a city policeman and he turned it over to the highway patrol since it was his jurisdiction?  I was too rattled to look.

It took quite a while to get to the point when we could go our way again.  I won't bore you with a blow by blow.  The officer was very friendly and kind.  He took care of all the paperwork for us and had us stay in our car.  I never spoke with the drivers of the other two cars at all.  By the time he told us we could go, Helena's appointment was cancelled and we just headed home.

My soda was sitting in the cup holder when we were hit.  Soda went everywhere, which I only noticed after the fact.  I found it interesting that the soda can itself sustained such damage!

The back end of my car.  The damage doesn't look all that bad, to me, but Bill and Steven both think the insurance company will 'total' the car.  Oh, I hope not!  I do not want to deal with finding another car.  The appraiser came by my school yesterday and took pictures.  We should know by Monday whether it is a repair or replace situation. 

There is no way she can ever deny she was the one who hit me.  Her license plate number is stamped onto my back bumper! 

My front license plate is now all bent out of shape from hitting the car in front of me.  The damage on the front is very minor.  I was shoved into them, but didn't do much damage at all that I could see... if any really.  Probably just some scuffs.

So.  There you go.  Now my back and neck are sore and I have had a constant low-grade headache ever since.  I went to the doctor today.  He didn't seem very interested in seeing me.  He said it was just muscle strain and I should just take anti-inflammatory and rest for a week from my exercise routine.  He gave me a physical therapist recommendation.  It happens to be Bill's physical therapist (from his bike accident) and biking buddy, Russ.  So it is good to already know the therapist.  Though I am not thrilled to be off my workout routine.  Harumph.

Helena is off in St. George with her best friend, experiencing the Red Rock Retreat... Dixie State College's high school senior recruiting program.  Since it is where she wants to go to school, we signed her up for it.  Her doctor's appointment is rescheduled for when she gets back and we'll see then if she has any side effects from the accident.  Yesterday she told me her back was sore, too.  She is young and strong, though, so I'm not worried!