My frustrating girl

Helena playing with a plastic bag...

I am learning how to let go and allow my children to live their own lives.

It is probably the hardest thing I have had to do so far as a parent.

When they were little and neglected homework or chores, a little nagging mom factor was all it took to get my way.

Now I can nag until I lose my temper and my cool... but it won't change anything. In fact, it seems to have the opposite of the desired effect.

There is simply a limited amount of things I can do. After that, I have to let them make the decisions on the outcomes.

For instance, Helena's grades are not anywhere near where they should be. She tells me the classes are hard. Duh. They are supposed to be! She is supposed to put in the extra effort to learn what she needs to know. She doesn't put in the effort, though she thinks otherwise.

I have nagged (she ignores it). I have yelled (she mocks it). I have begged (she walks away). I have thrown temper tantrums (she laughs at me... I can't blame her there!). I have offered my help (she doesn't want it), I have even tried to arrange tutors (she really threw a fit about that one)! I have taken away all electronic devices. She is only allowed on the computer for educational purposes. She is grounded from friends (except when they come over to work on homework/group assignments with her) and parties. She isn't allowed to get her license until grades improve.

I am not sure when she will decide to step up to the plate and deliver so she can have a better quality of life. I just know that I have to stop stressing about it because it is really beyond my control. After all, I have my own life to live! I can't keep ruining my own mood just because she is screwing up her life.

Oh. But it is hard!