Getting Back Up To Speed...

Okay.  I can breathe, now.

It has been a crazy few weeks here in the Watson house.  I have wanted to write, but have had too many pent up emotions to be able to write the right thing, if that makes any sense.  It is NEVER a good idea to write in the heat of anger, or frustration, or anxiety, or depression... because once thoughts are out there, they are impossible to retract.  And there were thoughts swirling around in my head that would have been damaging to expose to the light of day.  Now that the crisis has past, and life has slowed down to its blissful summertime crawl, I can start to articulate where I have been these past weeks that I have been absent from you.

Simply put, I was agonizing over my high school senior; now high school graduate.  She impersonated an anchor and nearly sunk all her chances of graduating high school with mere days between herself and the deadline.  In only 10 days, she went from 4 NC's (No Credits) in 3rd quarter and SIX 'F's' in 4th quarter, to passing all classes and receiving all credits for graduation... with only one day to spare on the deadline!

This was more than just a nail biter for the whole family.  There were a lot of fights, frustration, and tears involved, as you can imagine.  Those who were in the know kept asking "why is she doing this to herself?!  She is such a smart girl!", over and over.  Which, by the way, was the least helpful thing on the planet.  I was in so much stress and pain over it, that I didn't really want to discuss how a child o'mine could so completely sabotage herself.

Anyone who is a parent can tell you that they feel responsible for everything their children do or do not accomplish.  That is a load of twaddle, of course.  At some point, your children become autonomous and are fully responsible for their own actions and outcomes.  Still, I don't think that feeling every truly leaves a parent.  It is wondrous and amazing when your child soars and achieves.  It truly sucks if your child struggles and fails.

While trying to deal with the graduation crisis, I was also inundated with phone calls and paper work from insurance companies about the car accident, going to physical therapy for my neck and shoulders, trying to train for a marathon (which has now been deferred to next year), and shopping for and buying a car.  Life never throws challenges at you in the singular.  It always seems to be a hailstorm of challenges hitting all at once.

It got to the point that I just had to drop everything and focus only on my daughter and her needs.  Everything else just had to wait.  I skipped out on Art Council meetings, even though I am supposed to be helping with the art show next month.  I put off dealing with the insurance stuff.  Just everything I could shove out of my head went by the wayside, because this one thing and the agony it was causing was too much overload for me to be able to handle anything else.

But, even the darkest night has to end, and this one ended with a beautiful sunrise (metaphorically speaking)!  She did pass all of her classes, she did graduate with her class, we did celebrate!  School ended for another year.  We now have only one child still in high school.  Will is going to be a Junior in the fall, which means we only have two years left of public school!  I have flipped that mental switch from being a highly scheduled employed person and parent of high school students, to the free spirited there-are-no-clocks-or-schedules kind of unemployed person I become in the summer months.  I have a loose summer schedule, but it gets rearranged more often than not.  The daily schedule always includes a trip to the pool.  "Trip" meaning a leisurely stroll over to it.

Have I ever told you that I LOVE SUMMER!

The only firm item on the schedule right now is Will's driver's ed class.  We signed him up for the afternoon session, because who wants to start summer vacation with an early morning class?  Pffft!  Not Will, and certainly not his taxi driver!

There are still lots of things to blog about, and lots of pictures waiting to be shared, too.  But I have babbled on long enough for one post, so I'll let you get back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Until next time... a very relieved me.