The Dark Side of an Overactive Imagination

An active imagination is a wonderful thing.  An overactive imagination, however...

I have always been blessed (cursed?) with an overactive imagination.  Occasionally, I'll get lost inside my head.  Others can tell when this happens because I will just stand there, immobile, and seem to gaze directly through them.  I know it creeped out a few people back in my school days.  Several times my kids have walked in on me, standing still as a statue in the middle of a room, doing seemingly absolutely nothing.  What I am doing, of course, is re-ordering the entire universe in my head.  I may just be working out a storyline I think may be entertaining (though I'll never write it), or reworking the remodel blueprints in my head and adding further details to my internal house o'dreams.  Or, as is often the case, I am working through the alternative realities that would have existed had I made various different choices throughout the course of my life instead of the path I am currently following.  It is really mind blowing to think of where I might be and who I could have become, if only I had zigged instead of zagged at some critical juncture in life!

None of that is particularly harmful, however.

No, the dark side of an overactive imagination comes from thinking through all the possible outcomes of what is going on in life RIGHT NOW.  Instead of being content with just the positive outcomes in life, my mind has to pursue EVERY outcome to its potentially gruesome and bitter end.  I end up with some pretty morbid thoughts.

I have probably imagined every possible horror a parent could face.  It is ridiculous to borrow trouble, and I'll admit that my husband laughs at me with puzzlement (and a bit of disgust) when I manage to reduce myself to tears over an imagined tragic ending to someone I hold dear.  It makes it doubly hard to let go of my children and allow them to experience the world, when my mind is parading every possible end result of their adventures to my overactive and oversensitive imagination.

And don't you worry, I do not only imagine the worst for my loved ones.  I do not spare myself, either. I feel rather embarrassed to admit it, but I have imagined my own death countless times.

This would seem really kind of depressing and mentally disturbing, except that my mind is not a one way street.  It imagines in both directions.  So, while I imagine the worst, I also imagine the best!  I try to channel that positive side as much as possible, but I can't seem to let go of the dark side.  Overall, I'd say that the positive far exceeds the negative in my thoughts.  After all, reality sides with the positive nearly always.  Have you noticed that?  At least, in the little daily moments of a personal life.  Don't focus on the headlines.  Focus on your own life and you will find it filled with beauty and wonder.

And if you are like me, with an overactive imagination that sometimes drags you through the dark side of things, use it to your advantage!  Use it as a catalyst to make you act.  Remind those around you that you love them every moment of every day.  Do not be afraid to reach out, smile, or touch someone else near you with love and friendship.  Don't allow yourself to procrastinate on your hopes and dreams.  Get out there now and chase them down until they become your reality!  After all, as your imagination reminds you, there may be no tomorrow.  Now is all we have.

Don't waste it.