I'm still alive... I bet you were wondering.

Oi.

I bet you thought I dropped off the face of the planet, didn't you?

Nope. Still here.

So much has been happening in life, where do I start to bring you back up to speed?

Logical timelines are boring, and I'm sure to leave some important stuff out, so I will just hodge-podge my way through this post, much like I do with life. I'm sure to forget lots of important details and we can only hope that I'll remember to bring stuff up in some later post.

I'm back, baby! And I'll try to stay for a while, though in a moment you will learn why sticking around and visiting with you will amount to an herculean task for me.

Current events of my life in a nutshell:

• About a year and a half ago, I was approached over the course of several months by a couple of BYU professors who were supposed to be monitoring and evaluating their student teacher in my care. Rather than watching her, however, they were recruiting me for their Master's of Art in Art Education program. I said "thanks, but no thanks... I can't afford it." Their response was to assure me that they had a grant that would cover the cost of tuition! That was the impetus I needed to make a huge life decision. I jumped into the deep end with both feet and began my Master's. Of course, life is never so neat and tidy. The "full tuition" grant turned out to be only partial tuition and has left me scrambling to come up with the rest of the funding for my education; but I believe it will be worth it in the end. I will get a significant pay raise once I earn the degree, and I'm working with BYU on adding a secondary teaching certificate to my degree so that I can expand my teaching range up into the middle and high schools.

• The Master's program is in full swing and I am treading water. I'm coming up on the end of my second semester and still have my head above the foam, so to speak. I have written more words in the past few months that I have written since... well, since I last visited with you, to be honest. This program is thesis driven, so I will be writing a great many more words before all is said and done. I seem to be holding my own, and I think I have a lifetime of journal writing to thank for that.

• In the process of jumping into my Master's, I've also started pushing myself to grow as an artist. I set up my studio in my classroom and have produced more artwork in the past year than I have in a long time. I attended the UAEA (Utah Art Education Association) conference and as a result I'm now enrolled to take a three day seminar called the DaVinci Initiative this summer. It is a crash course in atelier training. That's old school artistic training. This will be on top of my summer course load at BYU, of course. I also met some other artists at the conference who have invited me to studio sessions with them. I am now meeting up with a group of artists every Saturday morning to work on figure drawing from a live model. THAT is really pushing me! I rely on photo reference so I can work slowly and precisely. Having to do quick live sketches forces me to be more speedy in my observational skills.

Yawn. Am I putting you to sleep, yet? I'm putting myself to sleep, so let's move this thing along:

• We have a new principal at Harvest who is not convinced that art is all that important. He sees it as "icing" to be enjoyed after the meatier subjects are consumed. We've had some intellectual discussions as I have labored to persuade him otherwise. I feel like I am making some progress. 

• Another BYU professor, is approaching me with a proposal to give me the opportunity to work full time at my school by converting my job with the Beverley Taylor Sorensen grant. I won't go on and on about it, because details are killing this post. If it happens, it will mean more money for me, and a full time job on top of full time school next Fall. Stress, stress, stress, stress. But exciting, nonetheless. More on that later.

• One HUGE development is that HELENA IS GETTING MARRIED! Her fiance, Jayce Morgan, proposed on Christmas Eve in front of all of us and they are getting married on Monday, May 16th. Wedding plans are in full swing and I'll probably write some dedicated posts just about all things wedding in the near future.

• Another huge upcoming event is that MATT IS ALSO GETTING MARRIED! He and his fiancee, Kara, were supposed to be getting married this month, but they have pushed the wedding back to September 24th. They haven't discussed many wedding details with us, besides the fact that she has her dress and their colors will be red, black, and silver.

• To round out my updates on my kids, Will is currently working as a "grease monkey" as a local Grease and Go. It's an oil and lube kind of place. He is covered in black, sooty greasiness more often than not, and is very happy. He bought a Civic, paid it off, and has now bought a little Mazda Miata convertible that is his "project car". He's stripping it down and leaving tiny bits and pieces of it strewn all about my driveway. He's still serving in the Army Reserves one weekend a month and has been promoted to Specialist. He turned in the paperwork to go active duty, but since that has to travel through 9 levels of command structure without getting lost or rejected somewhere along the chain, I'm not going to give it a lot of thought or energy until something comes of it.

There is still lots of life to be told, but this post is already much too long. I will try to write again tomorrow.

Basic Training Graduation

We headed out on the evening of September 9th for the long drive to Ft. Sill/Lawton, Oklahoma.

Earlier that day, Helena talked me into going to get our nails done.  I have never had acrylic nails before... and I probably never will again.  They make it so difficult to do just about everything!  I can't type!  I am having to make corrections to typos in EVERY single sentence.  Ugh!  They also get in the way of working with clay at school.  But, yes, they are very pretty.  Just so impractical that they are driving me crazy!

I realized as we pulled out of the driveway that I hadn't seen Tigger that day.  More on that in the next post.

The drive was LONG and AWEFUL.  I drove the first 9 hours through the night as the others napped.  Helena was the lucky one in our group.  She's the only one that can actually sleep in a car.  Bill dozed off for a few hours, but Brenna (Will's girlfriend) stayed awake with me the whole way.

At the half way mark, and in the morning at about 7 or 8 am, Bill took over the driving and drove us the rest of the way.  I have to say, I LOVE GPS!  Back in the day, we had to drive with a great big road atlas in the navigator's lap as we traveled.  Now, you just enter your destination into the GPS and it programs your route and lets you know exactly where and when to turn.  That was handy, because in Texas and Oklahoma the GPS sent us on some side roads that we would have shot right past.  Taking those side roads instead of the main roads cut at least 20-30 miles off our trip each way.  Done!

I will say now that Oklahoma is FLAT!!!  The "mountains" near the base were hills.  HILLS, people!  LOL!  And the grass barely rates the name.  But, boy, do they have a lot of sky!  I thought there was a lot of sky here in the high desert... NOPE!  They have us beat!

Helena loved the base.  Our IDs were scanned every time we entered, which was about twice to four times a day.  The MPs manning the gates were super nice, though.  The base is large and acts as a city of its own, with schools, stores, housing, and even gas stations.  But, everything very orderly.  VERY.  Helena said it reminded her of Top Gun.  LOL!

Our hotel was adequate, but not luxurious.  We were staying on base, so it had a military feel to it. Meaning the stairwell looked like it needed an upgrade back in 1950s, but the rooms were clean and only felt 20-30 years outdated.  LOL. The on base hotel serves primarily to house military members who are on post for training that is so temporary that it isn't worth the hassle of setting up housing.  So, lots of uniforms everywhere.  Actually, there were uniforms everywhere all over the town of Lawton, too.  The town would not exist if it weren't for the military base, so it is just swimming in patriotism and all things military.

We arrived on the afternoon of the 10th and settled into our hotel to get a good night's sleep, because Family Day started bright and early on the 11th.  At check in, I met another Army Mom, Patti Warren, whose son was in Will's platoon!  She was there alone, so I invited her to join us in the dining hall for breakfast the next morning.  There was a Wednesday evening meal served by the hotel, too, which Brenna and I went to, but Bill and Helena chose to remain in our suite.  I thought it was pretty yummy, but Bill would not have been able to eat it.  We ended up having Patti join us most mornings for breakfast and following us to the various functions in her car, so she wouldn't get lost.

Family Day found us in front of Will's Basic Training Barracks.  There were tents set up (in case it rained, which it didn't) and bleachers for us to sit on.  There were vendors selling pictures, dvds, t-shirts, and necklaces.  I bought a necklace and a dvd.  Will had already bought the pictures.

They marched out in their tropics dress uniform... short sleeve white top with the dress blues pants.  They looked amazing!  A quick demonstration of some of the skills they learned and some instructions on what to do and not to do on leave, then they were released to their families!

It was so good to hug my boy!  He's grown taller!  He walks with precision and bearing, now.  He has also gained a lot of patience,  He's always been pretty short tempered with his dad, flying off the handle in anger when Bill gets too goofy and starts teasing him.  Now, however, Will just patiently rides it out.  He's a grown up!  Wow!

I noticed right away that he had a bruise on his right cheekbone.  I asked him about it and he acted surprised.  He didn't even know it was there.  He couldn't even tell me where it came from.

We drove him to our hotel, the PX, and off post to the mall.  We hunted down the Verizon store and took him in to get his phone upgraded.  We ended up with a smart phone for him, and tablets for him and his sister.  LOL!  I had to up our data package to handle the extra load.  I can't really afford that, so Helena is going to start paying her portion of the phone bill, and Will is going to start paying his portion when he gets home from his training.

We had lunch at Whataburger.  I'd never eaten there, but Will's Texan buddies told him he had to try it, so we did.  We had dinner by ordering pizza.

Will was antsy around other people.  He didn't want to be around so many uniforms, because pretty much everyone we passed outranked him, and he didn't know if he was supposed to salute officers while we were shopping in the PX.  So we took him back to the hotel and took him swimming in the pool.  Even that made him nervous.  He swam in his PT shorts, which was allowed by the DS, but he was still nervous that he was doing something wrong and would get in trouble.  Still, we picked the only warm and sunny moment of the whole weekend to hit the pool, so that made me happy!

We had to have Will back to his barracks by 2000 (8pm).  All the soldiers and their parents loitered near the barracks up until the moment they all had to go.  Then we went back to the hotel and Helena and I went down to the hotel gym to get our exercising done.  That room was stuffy and hot!  Ugh.  Still, I got it in.

Graduation was held off post in the McMahon Auditorium.  I intended to arrive around 9 am to stand in line because it started at 10.  I lost track of the time in the morning and we ended up arriving at 8 am instead.  Oops!  We were pretty much the first people there.  We saw the soldiers pull up on Army buses and saw Will as he went inside.  Actually, he saw us first while he was still on the bus.  He dropped a window and yelled at us! :)  My cell phone chose that moment to freeze, though, so I don't have a picture of it.

We stood in line for two hours.  Well, I should say, Brenna and I stood in line.  Helena and Bill went back to the car to stay warm.  It was cold and wet, with a fine drizzle coming down.  As the line grew, I saw some of the other Army Moms from the Fb support group, so I was able to go say "hi" and take some selfies with them.  They were the ones who supported me through having my son gone to BCT.  I often felt like I annoyed everyone at home, because they thought I was too emotional and why didn't I get over it, already?  The other Moms on the support group understood me and what I was going through better than my own family did.

Graduation had me emotionally strung out.  When they opened the doors to allow those with disabilities to enter, everyone else came surging forward and I went from being at the front of the line to being behind about 20-30 other people.  It got me riled up.  We were all there for the same purpose, I just found the "want to get to" attitude that we constantly see everywhere else to be so out of place in that venue.  I admit I was really upset when we first got in to our seats and when Helena said, "we should have gone up on the balcony, the camera angle is better from up there", I completely lost it.  I flared up at her and told her to just shut up already!  I was in tears, because I felt that she was right, but there was nothing I could do about it, because the house filled up instantly.  I was a basket case.

It turned out that we were in the best seats of all, actually!  The soldiers came in and sat all down the middle of the main floor and we could see where Will was sitting.  All the parents suddenly crowded the aisles, taking pictures of all the soldiers sitting stone still.  Will said it felt like they were animals in the zoo having tourists take their pictures.  The crowd started thinning out, so I got up to try to take a picture, but right then a drill sergeant came down the aisle and instructed everyone to take their seats.  So, another photo I didn't get.

Oh!  While we were in the lobby waiting to get into the auditorium, a Drill Sergeant was wending his way through the crowd when Bill saw his nameplate was ROSS, Will's Drill Sergeant!  Bill spoke out and told him that Will liked him.  Oi!  I knew that would have repercussions for Will, and sure enough; after everything was over, Will told us that DS Ross called Will out and informed him that "apparently I'm friends with your family, now".  LOL!

The graduation was short and to the point. The moment the guest speaker mentioned these soldiers' bravery for enlisting in a time of war, a mother right behind us lost it and began weeping uncontrollably.  The 200+ soldiers stood and recited the Soldier's Creed, then re-took the oath of service.  That was a powerful moment!  The soldiers came up to the stage one by one, recited their name into the microphone, then marched past each of their Drill Sergeants and Officers, shaking hands with each of them.

And then, it was over!  They marched out together singing a funny cadence about Drill Sergeants ("Drill Sergeant Won't You Leave Me Alone") and we worked our way out of the crush of people to find Will outside.  Brenna and I got separated from Bill and Helena.  I was craning my neck to try to find them and find Will.  I had other people pressed in on me on all sides... so I did not see the curb right at my feet!  I stumbled and fell!  t was so embarrassing!  I skinned my knee and wounded my pride.

But, I finally found them.  Will was in his dress blues, including the jacket.  He looked fantastic!  We got to have him with us until 1900 (7:00 pm) that day.  He wanted to see the Artillery Museum on base... which was outdoors.  So, we wandered around in the rain for an hour or so.  My umbrella did not survive the encounter.  It did great all the way until it was time to get into the car, then it caught a tricky gust of wind and turned inside out and sideways.  There was no fixing it.  We ended up throwing it out before we left.

We had dinner at an all you can eat Chinese buffet.  I honestly don't even remember much else.  Oh, we went to a local KMart to get him some hangars for the garment bag we had bought him the day before to put his dress uniforms into.  Other than that, I can't remember.

We took him back to the barracks right after dinner.  We all needed to go to the bathroom, so Will showed us where those were on the ground floor of the building.  I had already read that we were allowed to be in that part of the building, but apparently Helena didn't hear me say that, because she was terrified we were going to be chewed out by a drill sergeant.  She was skittish coming out of the bathroom and nearly jumped through her skin when we walked out and right into a platoon of soldiers-in-training and their two Drill Sergeants!  LOL!  She said that it was one of the worst experiences of her life and she never wanted to do that again.

1900 came too soon!  We all stood around outside his barracks until we had to say a final goodbye.
Hugs and kisses and then he was gone.  I cried.

He left on a bus the very next morning for his journey to AIT (advanced individual training) at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO.  We left for our arduous trip back home.

And now we are on a new countdown to AIT graduation.  He will graduate from Chemical Weapons School(barring any problems) on Nov. 21st.  Then he just has a short 3 week training on the vehicles his unit uses, and he'll be home in time for Christmas!

Roller Coaster

I don't think I like being an Army Mom.

I don't like the news. No, I hate the news. Every geo-political news story seems scary to me.  As I lay in bed at night, my horrid mind replays all the bad things happening in the world, and my over-active imagination sees my son heading to the battle front in one of a half dozen places around the world. I have to keep reminding myself that he is "safely" still at Basic Training.  And even when he is done with training, he is coming home to serve in a Reserve Unit.

Ha! "Safe" is a relative term. I know he is physically safe. No harm will come to him, unless he pulls a muscle, or something. Still, I worry.

I joined a couple of Facebook support groups for the families of soldiers doing basic training at Ft. Sill.  Some of the support is great!  Some of the "support" actually adds to my stress levels.

For instance, soldiers are allowed only a few, specific items to be shipped to them from their families. Anything on the "contraband" list will result in punishment (sit ups or push ups) for the soldier, and possibly for his/her entire platoon.  I read of one soldier that got a bag of candy. His entire platoon had to do push ups while he sat at a table in the middle of the room and ate the entire bag of candy in one sitting.  If someone's parent gets a little too eager and tags or posts to the pictures on the battalion Facebook wall?  Yeah, sit ups for EVERYBODY!  Sometimes, it is just the soldier that gets singled out. Like, say your family sends you a postcard instead of a letter? The Drill Sergeant is going to read that out loud to the entire platoon for you.  How thoughtful. Some parents have a wicked sense of humor and think sending "Monkey Butt" powder or "Boogie Wipes" to their soldier is a hoot!  Maybe their soldier has a great sense of humor, but what if the Drill Sergeant is in a bad mood for some reason?  Sit ups galore, and they just doomed their soldier to be nicknamed "Monkey Butt" or "Booger" for the duration of basic.

Will is supposed to be "phasing up" from Red Phase to White Phase, soon.  That has less to do with what they are learning and more to do with the level of restrictions placed on them.  During the Red Phase, the soldiers in training have NO privileges.  No phone calls, in particular.  Red Phase generally lasts 3 weeks, but can last much longer if the platoon won't settle down and be disciplined.  When they move to White Phase, they will be allowed their phones on Sundays to make short calls home.  Oh, I can't wait!  But I also know (from the support groups) that often times that phone privilege is lost for the entire platoon due to the bad behavior of ONE soldier.  If any one idiot decides to mouth off to the Drill Sergeant, I won't get to hear from my son.  So, now I am praying for an entire platoon of soldiers to keep their noses clean, just so I can hear my son's voice!

We already know we missed out on a phone call back on Independence Day because somebody cussed in formation and wouldn't fess up about it to the Drill Sergeant.

I am hearing that certain platoons are severely struggling with behavior issues.  I haven't heard of problems with Will's platoon, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's gotten lucky and been placed in a more mature group!  I am hoping that most of what I'm hearing about problem platoons are actually Split Training platoons.  Split Training means 17 year old soldiers who are doing basic training during the summer before their senior year of high school, then the AIT (advanced individual training) or job training next summer after they graduate.  The Army will run entire groups of kids as Split Training platoons in the summer time. A whole platoon of 17 year olds.  Shudder!  A normal platoon will be varied in age from the almost 18 year olds that barely graduated from high school to the "gramps" of the platoon at 35, the maximum age you can enlist in the Army.  That wide of a range hopefully helps elevate the maturity level, right?

And then there's the tearful and panicked mother on the support group who reports that her SIT (soldier in training) missed passing the riffle qualifications by one shot, and is being given the choice of being "recycled" or go home!  "Recycled" means starting basic training over.  She is panicked because she can't contact her to talk it out and can only hope she makes the right choice.

Great.  Something else to worry about!  Bill says not to worry, Will is gonna pass his qualifications.  I believe that.  I have confidence in my son and his abilities.  I just have to tell my imagination to shut up!  At least I don't have to worry about his running qualification times!  He told me in a recent letter that he ran a 6:36 mile!  (I struggle with a 10 minute mile, shhh!)

I have started stalking the mailman.  I have discovered that he normally delivers our mail at about 10 am.  So, when he didn't show up and didn't show up... and it was 4 pm and still no mail... I was about to get on the phone to the post office to find out JUST WHAT IS GOING ON ANYWAYS... when he showed up at 4:05......  And then there was no letter.  What a let down!  But, at least my letter to Will got picked up!  I was ready to snatch it out of the box and drive it down to the post office myself to make sure it made today's post!

Oh. One more thing.  Apparently today someone started a rumor that there was an active shooter running around on the base.

Just a rumor people.  Go about your business.  There is nothing to see here!

AURGH!!!

I am fine with the fact that it was only a rumor.  Great.  Glad to hear it.

But, did you realize that I had not once connected other base shootings to a potential for a threat to my own son until just this very minute?!  Thanks, you moron!  Whomever you are starting pernicious rumors!  I was happily ignorant until now.  Sheesh.  Now my imagination is gonna have a field day with that one tonight as I lay in bed trying to go to sleep without watering my pillow.

Ah. Being an Army Mom is mentally hard.

BUT I FEEL SO VERY PROUD OF HIM!!!  I want to shout it from the roof tops!  I want to tell every stranger I meet, "Hello. Nice to meet you.  Did you know my son is in the Army?  Why, yes, he is brave and wonderful and amazing and all of those other truly awesomely nice things! He's my hero and I just wanted you to know about him, so he can be your hero, too!"

A little over the top?

That's the roller coaster I'm on right now, folks!  When is this ride over? ;)

Missing Summers Past

Do I have a bunch of other things I should be doing?  Of course.  If I wanted to do them, though, don't you think I would have started on them by now?  Sheesh.  Summer is my time to procrastinate horribly on all things not lazy and summery.

Now that we have that out of the way, I have to tell you why this is the hardest summer, ever!

No, really.

Summers had been my time to play with my kids.  We hung out at the pool, or the lake, or the water park (notice the water related theme?), we watched movies, or we wandered around town looking for fun stuff to do.  We'd flood the backyard and paddle around in it, then watch the dragonflies dance across the makeshift pond.  When they were little, they'd have sleep outs in the tree house up in the cherry tree.  Later, the backyard campouts moved down to a tent in the yard when they got too big for the tree house.  Their friends came over and we had late night bonfires, roasting hot dogs and s'mores while lazily listening to the crickets and the train whistle in the distance while counting stars.  Sweet summertime teen romances flared up only to die down with the start of a new school year.

My summer was full of my kids.

Not so much, anymore.

Helena works full time.  Her boyfriend has relocated to Oregon, so when she's not at work, she's Skyping him.  That is how it should be.  When she has a day off, we spend it together, so I'm not totally alone, but her days off are few and far between.  It's not the same as when we all had summer vacation together.  She has grown up.

Will is gone.  We write letters.  He writes letters.  I had NO IDEA how difficult this would be for me. I think about him constantly.  Correction, I worry about him constantly!  He is doing something so difficult, only made worse by the disgusting heat he has to do it in!  I can't fall asleep at night for worrying about him.  I wake up early worrying about him.  If I could siphon off some of my energy and willpower and send it to him, I would in a heartbeat.

I thought I was prepared for this.  After all, I was an Army Sister, and a Navy Sister-in-Law.  And I was a Marines Step-Mom.  And I did worry about my brothers and my step son.  But not like this!  I can't decide if it is just because he is my youngest, or if it is because we share a special bond that is rare for a teen son and his Mom.  All I know is that I pray for him almost constantly.  I watch the news with extra concern.  It feels like the world is imploding and I want to keep my son safe, but I can't because he is a soldier and that is what he chose.

I have always been a worrier, anyways.  I used to worry about the kids walking home from Elementary School.  I worried when they got their driver's license.  I worried when they went on their first dates.  I worry whenever they have to face something new.

It is amazing I don't have a stomach full of ulcer holes, actually.

So, I wish I could go back in time and relive those summers past.

If you are in the thick of a child filled summer, CHERISH IT!  It will not come again!  Play with them! Swim with them!  Forget about the chores!  Who cares about the house!

Go!

Do stuff WITH the kids!

Make memories and savor every moment.

Endings and Beginnings

Hallo!  We are just about to say 'good-bye' and 'good luck' to our young soldier.  I have tried to pack as much fun into the month of June as I could.  It will be his only month of summer vacation, so I wanted it to be fun and memorable.

We had family pictures taken.  I'll post some as soon as I get them from Miss Saren (Mrs., actually, but she'll always be a young 'Miss' to me, since I'm turning into an old person).  We swam.  We went to the movies.  We ate out more often than we could technically afford.  We BBQ-ed.  We had bonfires in the back yard.  We went to the lake and windsurfed/kayaked/stowed away on some dude's catamaran (only Will did the last part, but, HEY! sounds cool).  And, I took him and his 'battle buddy', Private Paul, up to the Solomon Center in Ogden (2 hr. round trip) so they could do indoor skydiving/rock climbing/indoor surfing!  That was a fun day!  Well, all except realizing when we got home that he had lost his dog tags.  GAH!!!  I went into panic mode.  They have his name and SS number on them!  I know he will be issued new tags when he arrives at Basic.  Most new recruits get their first tags at Basic.  Will has had dog tags for almost a year, however, because he enlisted last July and has been serving in his Reserve unit ever since.  He has already received a promotion, in fact, and will be doing Basic as a Private 2nd Class.

Anyways, I hurried and called every venue up in Ogden and asked for them to look for the tags.  And, wouldn't you know it, THEY FOUND THEM!  HOORAY!  The Flowrider staff found them over by the Costa Vida (where we ate dinner).  They are going to mail them back to us, so we don't have to drive for 2 hours to retrieve them.  One of life's little blessings!

So, I'm down to counting hours before my son leaves for this big adventure.  I'm excited for him, but I'm sad for me.  I will miss him something fierce!  When Helena moved out, I stood in her room several times and just teared up over missing her... even though she was only two towns over and often brought her laundry home &/or came "shopping" in my pantry.  This will be much harder.  I have no doubt I will spend some maudlin moments in his room, too.  I'm extra thankful that Helena moved back home.  That will make this easier for me.

No Skype.  No phone calls.  No texts.

Only snail mail.

They will give him his mail once a week, and make him earn it with push ups.  No packages allowed.  Just words of encouragement and photos.  He WILL get to call me once on the day after he arrives at the base, to let me know he arrived safely.  After that, he MIGHT be allowed to call every few weeks... if he earns it &/or the Drill Sargent is in the mood.

Meanwhile, I have to move on with my plans for the summer.

Normally, I have a routine planned out from day one of summer break.  Not this year.  I let June roll over me in one big jumble of activity.  So, starting July 1st, I am getting back into a schedule.  Not a rigid-my-days-are-packed kind of schedule.  Just a routine.

Get up at 6
Work out from 7-9 (this could be walking/jogging/bike riding/weights/whatever)
Yard work (and house repairs) until lunch at 11:30
housework for an hour after lunch
personal improvement (sketching/painting/Rosetta Stone) for two hours in the afternoon.
Unplug at 8
Swim from 8:30 to 9:30
Bed at 10

There are some rigid time frames in there.  Notably the getting up/exercising/going to bed times.  I find I do better at exercise if I am more rigid with it.  The rest can shift as needed, and it leaves me plenty of 'down' time to be a lazy summer slug and lounge around poolside or on the porch.  I need that just as much as the exercise!  And, of course, there will be some interruptions to that plan.  The Steel Days Art Show will consume a week in mid-July, and I will be teaching children's community art classes for a week in late July.

Saturdays and Sundays won't have all that going on.  Those days will be pretty unstructured.

Actually, I plan to use my Saturdays to work on Will's room.  It is due for an overhaul.  I won't say more, now.  Just know I have some exciting plans that I hope to surprise him with when he comes home!

So, I say farewell to my boy, and hope to welcome him back 6 months from now as a soldier and a man.

Reserve vs. Active Duty

Will dropped a bombshell on us this week.

He's considering switching from Army Reserves to Active Duty Army.

!!!

He hasn't gone to Basic Training, yet, so making the switch now will be easier than at any other point in his military service.  He has been going to his Reserve drill weekends every month ever since July.  I think it is the drill weekends that have made him change his mind.  He feels that his service in the Reserves is not meaningful enough.  Their unit building is run down.  Command has not bothered to check in with the unit in a long time.  He feels like what he is doing there is a sham, I guess.  He also feels that his MOS (Army job) isn't what he wanted.  He's scheduled to be training in Chemical Operations, but he actually always wanted to be a door gunner on a helicopter.  There is no MOS for that, so in order to qualify for it, you have to become a helicopter mechanic and work your way up to Crew Chief.  And only on helicopters that have door gunners.

Great.

I can understand how he feels.  I appreciate it.  I do.  I was concerned when he joined that he didn't take long enough choosing his MOS.  I wanted to go home and sleep on it, but the recruiter told him that if he didn't choose right away, the jobs with the signing bonuses would potentially be gone.  Ten thousand dollars is a strong incentive!

So.  Here we are.

I was very comfortable with the arrangements as they are.  He would only be gone for 6 months, then home again to do drill weekends, go to school, get a job (possibly as an EMT, since he is working on his certification right now), even move out and have college adventures.  But all of it would be right here, close to home.  I wouldn't have to say "good-bye".

All of that would change if he choses to go Active Duty.

After Basic and AIT (Advanced Individual Training, aka, job training), he would go off to whatever duty station the Army assigned him to.  He would be gone.

I can't tell you how much my heart hurts right now to even think of it.

My kids have been growing up at a nice, slow pace.  Helena is at home, going to school, working, dating... having adventures that don't take her too far away from me.  She still likes to plan us into her life and, most importantly, do things with me.

Will wants to leave.  I'm not ready for that!  Is he ready for that?  I'm not sure.  He still needs me to get him up in the mornings and cook him breakfast.

I picture him far from home, with no family to turn to when he is lonely or depressed.  What if he struggles to make friends?  I worry about his spiritual well being, too.  He doesn't go to church; will he find God when he is on his own?

GAH!  I'm an emotional mess!  Why do they have to grow up?!?

He leaves for drill weekend right after school today, so we won't be able to do anything about this until next week.  I don't even know if it is possible to make the switch, anyways.  Still, it is going to be a tough weekend for me, and possibly a tough spring... if I find out that I'll have to say "good-bye" this summer.

2014

Hello there.

Bet you thought I'd forgotten my little online journal.


Nope.

I've just gotten way too distracted by life.

But, I'm here, now.  And I'm gonna try to stay with it.

It's a time for new resolutions, after all!

That's right!  WELCOME TO 2014 AND THE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION POST!

I'm a goal setting kind of person.  I don't get too bent out of shape if I fail to reach them all... I just like to set them and see how far it takes me.  So, here goes!

Last Sunday, the bishop mentioned some advice he'd been giving on setting goals.  He called them goals, not resolutions, because you really should be constantly assessing, adjusting, and setting goals.  It is not just a New Year thing.  Anyways, he said the advice was to set 3 health goals for yourself...  one for physical health, one for mental health, and one for spiritual health.  That sounds like a great idea.

Of course, I have a boatload of PHYSICAL HEALTH goals I'd like to tackle.

For instance, I want to;

• Get to bed 'early' every night.  'Early' means 10-10:30 nightly (as I type this at 11:30 pm).  The problem with that is that I still have a wandering teen in the house to wait up for on occasion.  And, lets face it, I'm a night owl and have to force myself to bed most nights.   Grrrr.  Instead, I want to set a goal to try for 8 HOURS OF SLEEP per night.  I think I can manage that, most of the time.
• Get up at 6 am every school day to MAKE BREAKFAST FOR WILL.  That one is more for Will's physical/mental health than for mine.  I know.  I'm a horrible mother!  Most mornings he rolls out of bed at 7:20 am and leaves for school at 7:30... with no breakfast.  I've never been one of those "let me feed you all the meals" kind of people.  Still, I'm gonna try!  That means I will have to strive for that 10 pm bedtime on school nights if I'm gonna make that first goal.
• BUILD A NEW WORKOUT SCHEDULE AND STICK TO IT.  I've fallen off the workout wagon, somewhat.  And by fallen off, I mean I'm still holding on to the wagon and am being dragged in the dirt behind it.  I've struggled all through the holidays.  I'm making it to about 1/2 of my scheduled workouts each week.  I know I can do better.  I know I will feel better if I do better.  So, I will.
• BREAK THE STUPID SODA HABIT!  Here's another wagon I fell off of, people.  Gah!  Stupid, stupid soda!  Why does sugar have to taste so good?!  I feel like this is my Achilles heel.  My willpower battle royale.  So, I will keep up the fight and try again.
• GO TO THE DOCTOR and have the various things taken care of that need attention.  Vericose veins & moles.  I met my deductible this year, so I might as well take care of stuff. ya know?

MENTAL HEALTH Goals

• DE-CLUTTER.  I want to pick one room each month and get rid of as much as I possibly can.  Clear out the accumulation of 13-14 years of living in one place.  You know what I mean.  Things can pile up over time.  Papers and books and nick-nacks.  Picture frames I meant to paint all black, fill with pictures, and hang on the wall; but are instead all piled in a corner of the dining room gathering dust.  The puzzle that was built and mod-podged, but is waiting on top of the dryer for me to find a 22"x24" (or was it x28"?) frame so I can hang it on the wall.  All those random bits and pieces of living that need a proper home, or just simply need to go away permanently.  How is that mental health, you ask?  A cluttered home = a cluttered mind.  I think I could focus better with a more spartan house.
• KEEP UP WITH ROSETTA STONE.  I have been working on learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone.  I work at a Spanish Immersion elementary school, and the administration has provided Rosetta Stone for all the teachers and students to use.  Really such a great resource!  I could have chosen any language to work on, and I was tempted to brush up my French.  But, I want to learn Spanish, for work.  Learning a language should keep my mind sharp, especially since it sometimes feels like some of the gears are starting to slip from time to time.
• KEEP UP WITH MY BLOG.  This is my journal.  I need a place to crystalize my thoughts, and this is that place.  It is such a shame that so many good thoughts got lost over the months that I neglected to write.  I focus my writing on the positive events in my life, and it helps ME to stay positive.  Otherwise, I might let the negative creep in and get too much of a foothold in my life.  Keep your sharing POSITIVE!  Whether in a blog, or on Facebook, only record the positive.  You get back what you send out, so be careful what you send out there!

SPIRITUAL HEALTH Goals

• RENEW MY TEMPLE RECOMMEND.  I haven't held a current recommend in years.  I don't really have a good reason.  Just laziness.  I'm a slacker.  I need to rededicate myself and get back to the temple.  I'm looking forward to some Celestial Room meditations.  
• PRAYERS/SCRIPTURES EVERY MORNING.  That's gonna be part of the getting up at 6 am gig.  I'm shooting for a morning something like this:  15 min. me time (potty, stretching), 15 min. prayer/scriptures, 30 min. breakfast prep., have breakfast with Will (& hopefully Helena), send Will out the door at 7:30, get myself ready for work & out the door around 8:15.

So, there you have it.  I'm not good at the one goal per section kind of thing.  Still, I like my goals and I'm looking forward to implementing them.  Tomorrow I think I'll build that workout schedule!

If you are setting goals this week, I wish you all the best in achieving them!  I'm no cynic about New Year's Resolutions... I've accomplished many of mine over the years, so I know they are worthwhile endeavors.

So, set your goals and chase 'em down!

Cheers to a bright 2014!

Matt Came Home!

So many big changes around here!

Matt contacted us asking to come back home.  We were thrilled!  He said he hoped to be home before Will's birthday on the 23rd of May.  He just didn't quite have enough money to make it up here, yet.

Then we found out about a possible job opportunity for him here... if he could get here quickly.

He still didn't have enough money to get himself here, so we chipped in and paid for a u-haul to get him part way.  Matt drove the u-haul to St. George, and Bill drove down to meet him and bring him the rest of the way home.  In hindsight, it probably would have been cheaper to just rent a u-haul for the full distance, but we weren't the ones making the reservations, and really, we were piecing together the finances to get this done.

This all happened on Mother's Day.

I told Helena and Will that their dad had been called away on an emergency job.  Something about a broken pipe and a flooded basement.  They bought it completely, because that kind of thing has happened before.  They were a little disappointed, because it was Mother's Day, after all, and we planned to spend it together.

So, it was extra fun to see the looks on their faces when Bill pulled up in his work truck, towing a trailer... with MATT!  Oh!  The looks on their faces were priceless!

Now Matt is home!  He is living in Helena's old room, for now.  He is broke and doesn't have a job, yet.  He has applied several places, including the job opportunity I already mentioned, but hasn't heard back from anyone, so far.

Having him back home is a bit of a struggle and an adjustment for both us and him.  He is used to being on his own and having no one care about where he goes or what he does.  We want to know those kinds of things.  No, we're not just nosy.  He is borrowing one of our cars until he can get his feet under him.  He is living in our house for the same reason.  We love him and are so glad to have him back home, but we are realistic about the fact that he is 25, and should really be finding a place of his own as soon as possible.

So, keep him in your thoughts and prayers.  Keep your fingers crossed that he gets a job soon and can save up enough to get his own place.  Pray that he finds a good living situation that is nearby and affordable.  Pray that he finds a good deal on a reliable car.  Pray that he does start school (one of his goals while he is here) and that he does well at it.

But, oh, it is good to have the whole family here, again!

Too Much to Write About...

OK.  So I know I have neglected this thing something fierce.  I apologize.  There is lots to tell you, and I'm not going to be able to do everything justice in one post.  I think that's part of the problem.  If I don't get things recorded right away, they start stockpiling in my mind and it gets overwhelming thinking of all the things I need to write about.  I really haven't forgotten about writing, you see.  I am constantly composing posts in my head.  Unfortunately, most of those posts never happen because I am not in a position to actually write them in the moment.  So what you read on the blog is only a fraction of what gets composed in my head.  Then, if it piles up in my head, you don't get to read any of it because I get shut down by thinking of how much catching up I have to do.  And, the "catch up" posts are never as vivid and detail rich as the original composition in my head.  So, again, sorry about that!

What have you missed?

• Bill and I traveled to Oahu for a week to celebrate our 20th anniversary.  Lots of stories to tell you.  Awesome pictures will be posted to Facebook at some point... probably.

• As soon as we got back, Helena moved out and is now living with her best friend in a basement apartment two towns over.  I am super sad she is no longer my little girl and I miss her something fierce!

• On the same weekend Helena moved out, one of Will's classmates (and friend) committed suicide.  I did not know the boy, but man!  It made me so sad for his family and worried about my own son and his mental health.  I am exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions between joy on my anniversary trip, and grief the following week for the senseless loss of this young man.

• Will took the ACT for the first time back in March and got a FANTASTIC score!  We're super proud of his brains.

• We refinanced the house to a 10 year term with a rockstar interest rate.  It will save us tens of thousands of dollars without changing our monthly payment!  Yeah, baby!

• I am still training for the marathon, though it is painful and difficult.  Today's run was 16.5 miles.  I doubt I will ever do another marathon after crossing this one off my bucket list.  I am even considering removing the full Ironman from the bucket list simply because 26.2 miles of running is super hard on my knees.

• Will is off on another National Guard drill weekend.  He still plans to enlist on his 17th birthday.  I can feel how very little time I have left with him before he, too, moves out.  With Helena and Will both gone, the house feels WAY too quiet and empty.  I find myself wandering into their rooms and just standing there, feeling sad.

Each one of these things deserves its own post.  I will try to work my way through them tomorrow.  That should be a good Sunday activity, right?

Life's Mosaic

It has been a difficult few days.  It is not always fun to be the momma.  Sometimes you have to be brave enough to speak hard truths even though your children may hate you for it.  Hopefully, only temporary hate, though.  The hope is that they will see the love behind the words and find they are still able to love their momma despite it all.

I try to keep perspective when I am feeling down and despised by someone I love.  I try to remember that there are much worse things than having your child angry at you.  I have faced harder things.  Like the death of a loved one.  I will take my child's fierce anger over that anguish any day.

We have all had good days, even great days.  Days filled with laughter and sunlight and joy.  They are often unexpected gifts.  Just this past week I was doing who knows what upstairs and stopped just to listen to and enjoy the sound of two almost grown girls laughing together in the basement bathroom as they got ready to go out for the evening.  It reminded me of so many other laughing, fun moments I have had the privilege to be witness to as my children have grown.

Life is so full of brightness.  We sometimes forget that when we are struggling and down.  Hard times can leave us feeling that the darkness is all there is and we start to lose hope.  We can go for days, weeks, or even months or years struggling with dark and difficult times.  When that happens, we begin to wonder why God has forsaken us.  Why hasn't he answered our prayers?  Why do we suffer in the dark?

And then I thought of something.

I thought of the moments of my life like the pieces of a mosaic.  Each day of my life, each moment I live through, is a piece of that mosaic.  On the good and beautiful days, I am placing a brightly colored piece in the mosaic.  On hard or difficult days, I am placing a dark piece into the mosaic.  As I work, I can only see one small piece of the whole artwork.  Only one small portion of my life.  It is easy to loose perspective when that is the case. I can't tell you how many times I have told my students to step back and look at their work from a distance... to see the whole picture and gain a new perspective.

Such it is with our lives.  If we could see our lives through God's eyes... see the whole mosaic with all the light and dark pieces in their proper places... we would see a beautiful soul in the process of evolving into something wondrous and extraordinary.  A mosaic of only light pieces would be bland and uninteresting.  A mosaic of only dark pieces would be dreary and equally uninteresting.  But the patterning of light and dark... that makes the composition stronger.  And stunning to behold.

No one wants dark and difficult days.  No one wants trials or tribulations.  Yet, when looking back on them, we recognize their worth.  I am a stronger, more empathetic person for the darkness I have overcome.  I can serve and lift others who are struggling in similar ways.  I am who I am because of all the experiences I have lived through; not just the happy, easy moments.  In fact, it is actually the difficult times that refine character and make us stronger.

Am I asking for more dark pieces in the mosaic of my life?  Absolutely not!  But I recognize that there is a reason for the struggles, and a purpose and pattern to all we experience in this life.

Remember to step back from time to time and look at the bigger picture.

Seeing it can give you strength.

Trust Issues

Will and I went to Parent/Teacher conferences at the high school this afternoon.  Not much to report there.  We got in and out and on our way in just a little over an hour.  I was starving, so I decided we needed a Wendy's pit stop.  On our way there, Will made a comment that was the genesis of this post.

"I don't really like driving."  he said.

He went on to explain that he thought driving was a pretty poorly laid out means of transportation, with a high level of risk and too many opportunities for a bad ending.  The fact is that two massive metal contraptions pass within feet of one another at high rates of speed, filled with strangers who are trusting one another to not zig when they are supposed to zag.

I completely understand where my son is coming from on this, because I have always felt the same way.  I had a really hard time coming to terms with driving when I was a teen.  In fact, I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18 years old for that very reason.  I really didn't like driving.  I wasn't a bad driver (neither is Will), I just didn't like it.

After Will said that this afternoon, I remembered a Top Gear episode Helena was watching the other day.  One of the show's hosts, Jeremy Clarkson, had an opportunity to drive a specific car on a specific race track that he had already "driven" in a popular video game.  He was trying to see if he could drive it just as fast in real life as he had in the game.    He couldn't.   His analysis of why he was unable to recreate the same track times caught my attention.  He said that while he was racing around the track, his mind would suddenly think, 'what if a tire blew right .... now?'  or   'what if I lost traction going around this curve?'  Essentially, the whole time he was racing the car in real life, his mind was supplying him with every worst case scenario it could come up with, causing him to drive more conservatively than he had in the video game, where his brain KNEW there were no life-or-death consequences to his actions.  His conclusion was that race car drivers must not have much of an imagination, or a means of shutting it off.

That's Will's and my problem.  Too much imagination.  Both of our brains are supplying us with an instantaneous barrage of worst case scenarios every time another car passes us while driving.  It is also why I am such an absolutely ROTTEN passenger.  At least when I am driving, I do have control over one aspect of the whole dodgy experience.  When a passenger... I have absolutely NO CONTROL of any of the variables!  My mind goes into overdrive supplying me with all sorts of not so calming assessments of what might go wrong at any given moment.  Sometimes, truthfully, I just have to shut my eyes in order to remain calm while sitting in the passenger seat.

I really don't mind driving so much anymore.  I was able to reassure Will that it gets better with time and experience.  You learn to deaden your imagination a bit and trust the strangers around you ... sort of.





OK.  Maybe not the trusting strangers part.  I still expect anyone and everyone around me to pull a stupid stunt with their vehicle...

Late Teens

And, no, I am not referring to teens that are always late...

... oh, wait a minute.  Yes, I am.

The late teen years (16-19) are an incredible adventure... 

... for the teen.

For parents, the late teen years can be full of frustrations and expenses.  Expenses?  We have watched our car insurance double, our food and utility bills go up, and experienced sticker shock at gift giving times.  There are school fees and technology needs (no joke).  But the expenses are really just part of the experience of raising kids, and are manageable because we know they are temporary.  Soon enough the kids will leave home and the expenses will drop substantially.

No, the frustrations are the part I really want to talk about.  

Thinking back to when I was 16-19 years old, I still didn't really see my parents as individuals.  Not yet.  They were still MOM and DAD.  MOM and DAD had one function only.  To provide for us kids.  That meant they were supposed to feed us and clothe us, take us on vacations, pay for our stuff, and nag, pester, and harass us about school/church/chores.  In the meantime, it was my job to inform them of how outdated their view points were, how things were different now, and that they should just trust me and let me do whatever I wanted.  [Yeah, I never convinced them of any of that, by the way.]  By the time I was 19, I was pretty convinced I was all grown up.  I was "An Adult", who didn't need my parents telling me when to be home or what to do.

It wasn't until I was truly an adult (meaning I had moved away and was now fully supporting myself financially) that I started seeing my parents as individuals with needs and wants that really had NOTHING to do with their kids whatsoever!  Woah!  And I didn't empathize with my parents' struggles with teen aged kids until I had teens of my own.  So, I don't expect my kids to understand or empathize with me anytime soon.

Still, it would be nice.

Where is all of this rambling-ness going, you ask?

I just really, really want my daughter to be courteous and come home at a reasonable hour on weeknights.  Not stay out til midnight or later because she doesn't work until evening shift and can sleep in the next day.  Great for her, crappy for me.  I do have to go to work in the morning and would like to have a good night's sleep.

Just give her a curfew, you say?  Yeah.  Nineteen is a difficult age for that.  She feels she has a right to stay out as late as she wants.  And really, if she was living in an apartment with roommates, she could.  But she is not living in an apartment.  She is living at home.

She has told me to just go to bed and not wait up for her.  My response to that is simply that just because she is being selfish doesn't mean I am going to be selfish.  You see, I wait up because I love her.  I wait up to make sure I don't sleep right through a call for help.  I wait up to remind her that she is not an island.  Her actions do affect those around her who care about her.  

It is true that apartment living with roommates is much more "freeing".  But roommates don't wait up for you... because they don't love you.  It doesn't matter to them one way or the other if you make it back home again in one piece.  That sounds callous.  Of course, they'll care.  After the fact.  After something disastrous happens.  But they won't stay up waiting for a phone call that tells them you need help.  Someday, she'll have a spouse who will wait up for her, because he will love her and not want to go to bed until he knows she is home safe.  

I know she'll move out sometime soon, if only to feel that freedom of having no one care enough to wait up for her.  It feels so liberating, at first.  But, really, it can be incredibly lonely.  I remember living in an apartment with 5 other girls and feeling severely depressed and homesick because no one truly loved me in that apartment.  I didn't realize that was the reason for the homesickness, at the time.  I just knew I was miserable and lonely in a house full of other people.  

Until the day she moves out, it is my job to love her enough to want to wait up to see her safely home.  And care enough about her to hear about her adventures.

I just wish she could see me more as an individual who needs a good night sleep before I go to work and less like MOM who has outdated points of view.  I know she loves MOM.  I just wish that she loved Kate enough to come home early on weeknights.  

Senior Registration - Part 2

Wednesday's registration went off without a single hiccup!  HOORAY!

I admit, I borrow trouble on a regular basis.  On Wednesday afternoon, I hurriedly shut down my classroom early in order to make sure I made it home in plenty of time to sign into class registration at exactly 3:00.  I worried that I'd be stuck in traffic, or that I'd get pulled over and ticketed (so I did NOT speed), or that some less than brilliant individual would unexpectedly pull their minivan in front of me, causing a crash (like that would ever happen...)

Thankfully, none of the above occurred and I arrived at home with almost 30 minutes to spare.

Why exactly 3:00, you ask?  Because that was the moment the registration portal opened... and classes fill up on a first come, first served basis.  If you aren't quick enough, the carefully designed schedule you and your child spent several days constructing could go up in smoke.  That happened to us one year.  I had troubles with signing in that put me 5 minutes behind the curve.  Only 5 minutes.  We were left scrambling to try and construct an acceptable schedule on the fly as classes literally got pulled out from under us right and left.  What a nightmare!

But not this time!  I was in and out and on my way in five minutes!  Of course, I only had to build half of a schedule.  Here it is...

A DAYS
A1  Seminary
A2  AP Calculus AB

B DAYS
B1  English 12
B2  Government/Citizenship (Sem 1) - Weight Training (Sem 2)

That's it!  Will has all his science requirements done.  In fact, he has all his math requirements done, too.  That calculus class is being taken as an elective.

I'm glad I was able to get in successfully, because 4 of the 5 classes I signed him up for were full only moments after I was done.  Weight training was the only one not filled.  That class will be mixed with younger kids.

Will is going to be done at the high school at 10:30 every morning.  That will give him time to come home and eat an early lunch before heading off to his afternoon class at Mountainland Applied Technology College.  I have not yet signed him up for that class, because I have to wait for the admissions to come available.  That won't be until sometime this summer.  But I have spoken to the secretary, gotten his demographics entered in their online system, and am setting up an appointment with the counselor there.  He will be in class at the college from 11:30 until 2:30 every day, learning all sorts of computery stuff.

I think he will be very happy.  All that time just focusing on computers.  Also, high school has not been a great time for him.  His "friends" have turned out to not be very great friends, after all, so I'm hoping he'll meet some new people over at the IT class.  It should be full of high school seniors from schools all over the valley who are all into computer stuff.

In the meantime, Will is still planning on joining the National Guard on his 17th birthday and spending this coming summer at basic training!  More on this later...

Senior Registration - Part 1

I can't believe it is here already!  It is registration time for Will's Senior year in high school.

My baby.

Ugh.  I know he'll hate me saying that.  After all, he's a lean 6'1"teenager, now.  He has big hands and big feet, and he has to practically fold himself in half just to hug me these days.

There is so much potential hanging around him that it is practically a vibrating force.  I can feel it.  He is thinking about and planning for the future.  More on that in another post sometime later, though...



Will has almost all his graduation requirements filled.  He still needs a senior English class, and the Government/Citizenship class that all seniors are required to take.  Other than that, he needs 5 elective credits.  So, just 6.5 credits stand between him and graduation.  And a schedule that has slots for 8 potential credits.

Here's the plan as it stands today...

He'll take Senior English and AP Calculus AB (first semester college calculus).  Both are full year classes.  He'll take Gov/Cit first semester, and weight training second semester.  And he'll take release time for seminary, which won't earn any credits, of course.  That will all be scheduled in his mornings.  The mornings net 3 credits for him.

In the afternoons, he'll leave the high school campus and travel over to the MATC (Mountainland Applied Technology College) campus at Thanksgiving Point for their Information Technology certification course all year.  In this course, he'll get a chance to certify in A+, Network+, Linux+, Security+, and a bunch of other stuff that means absolutely nothing to me and just looks like a bunch of letters strung together.

The Tech college and the high school have an agreement.  He can take the tech college class and receive high school credits!  Four of them, in fact.  And, the courses are tuition free to high school students!  This class normally has a $2,000 tuition fee, so it is really great that he can take it free while still in high school!  There is a lab fee of a couple hundred dollars, but I'll gladly pay that to give him a head start in a field he is interested in.

If we manage to build the schedule we have planned, it will give him 7 credits to finish high school.

High school registration was supposed to happen at 3:00 this afternoon, but the district is experiencing some network hardware malfunctions, so registration has been postponed to Wednesday.

So, Part 2 of this post will come later this week when we have successfully managed to get Will signed up for the classes he wants.

Stay tuned!

Anything that can go wrong...

You know the saying.

This is a grump-fest post.  Please don't feel like you need to cheer me up or anything.  Sometimes I just need to write down some of the stuff banging around in my head to make it stop bothering me.  Believe me, once I finish this post, I will feel lots better and I'll be able to move on cheerfully.  First, though, a rant.

Why is it that bad stuff all happens a once?  I mean, really?!

• You already know my new car is in the body shop getting plastic surgery after an unfortunate incident that messed up its tail end.  Still not back.
• You also already know I hate my weenie-mobile rental car.  Now more than ever for reasons about to be revealed.
• Monday, Will drove to school and accidentally left the parking lights on in the Expedition, which killed the battery.  Dead as a doornail (what a weird phrase!).  Do you know how long it takes to use a weenie-mobile battery to jump start a big beastly Expedition battery?  A little over 40 minutes.  Since we were in the mostly empty school parking lot... no sweat.
• This morning, while Will was driving to school, the Expedition suddenly lost power everything (steering and electrics), then died on him when he managed to get it pulled mostly onto the side of the road.  He was blocking the right turn lane, but at least he was out of the middle of the road, right?
• Automotive gymnastics was not on my to-do list today, but I still managed to get the weenie-mobile nose to nose with the Expedition despite all the other drivers on the road looking at me like I'd lost my mind.  Oh, and to get the full visual, be sure to put me in pajamas!
• Trying to jump start an elephant like the Expedition with a mouse like the weenie-mobile in the middle of traffic during morning rush hour?  Not on my list of fun activities for the day.  It didn't work, of course, because we didn't have 40 minutes to sit around and wait for a big enough charge to build up.
• Don't you think tow companies are in the business of coming to the rescue of stranded motorists?  If you thought so, you'd be as wrong as I was.  I was told by two different companies that they "didn't have time to come out to tow my car".
• I can feel more expenses coming on with these new car troubles.
• Helena's phone is on the blink (it only works sporadically at this point), so she missed the text from her boss telling her that the shifts had been changed and why wasn't she at work today?  
• Helena also managed to fall on the stairs today while home alone and is now sporting wicked scabs and bruises all over her legs and feet. (I am truly glad it wasn't worse!  What if she'd broken a leg while all alone at home!  Poor girl.)
• Will's friend, Dallan, actually DID break his leg yesterday.  He'll require surgery that sidelines him for the entire skiing season.  Poor boy!  Dallan is Will's best skiing buddy, so I know Will's bummed, too.
• Will has been given an "Unexcused Absence" by his English teacher for leaving class early.  That freezes his grade until he goes to Attendance School TWICE.  An unexcused absence is considered a sluff and carries double penalty.  Each attendance school session costs $5.
• I've had a dead toe nail ever since the half Ironman back in August.  Could it just fall off already?!?
• And to top it all of?  I HAVE A STUPID COLD SORE!  Gah!  

See.  I feel better already.

PS:  I do need to say this...

As Will and I were stuck on the side of the road, desperately trying to figure out how to get out of the way of traffic and get the dumb Expedition back home, Liz M (Bill's niece) happened to drive by in her (nicer, newer, better-er) Expedition and asked if we needed a tow!

!!!!

Hooray for Liz!!!!

I sent Will home in the rental while I rode in our Expedition as Liz towed it back home.  She was my life saver this morning and completely turned a disastrous situation around!!!  (Note to self:  I was very impressed that Liz just happened to have a tow rope in her car.  I should get one and put it in my car, just in case...... whenever I get my car back, that is)

PPS:  I also need to say this...

When Bill got home from work this evening, he used his gargantuan work truck to jump start the Expedition and then left them hooked up charging the battery for a couple of hours.  That should keep the Expedition running until Saturday, when he can take it in to have the battery and alternator checked.

PPPS:  Really, I'm just about done...

Can you tell that some of my rants are just silly?  Those are my way of humorizing my life.  If you can't laugh at yourself, life is pretty grim.

...and Now He Drives!

I briefly mentioned in the post titled "First Accident" that Will has his driver's license.  He took driver's ed over the summer (early June, in fact), but only finished up the road portion of the class in early October because the school got backlogged and didn't get around to scheduling him until then.  Yeah.  I signed him up for SUMMER driver's ed so I could have a full week of early morning road tests done DURING our busy school schedule.  Thanks for that!

Anyways, he completed it just fine and was able to get his driver's license over the weekend.  Today was the first day there was a car available for him to drive himself to school.  We have two cars.  I drive one to work (which is currently a 'weenie-mobile' rental car while my damaged car gets repaired), and the other is for whomever in the family needs it at the time.  Sometimes Bill takes it off into the mountains for adventuring, but usually it is used by Helena to get to and from work.  Now, it is also for Will to get himself to and from school.  So, we have to plan out the week in advance to see where everyone needs to be, and when.  If Helena doesn't work until afternoon/evening shift, then Will can take the car to school.  If Helena works morning shift, Will is out of luck and I drive him to school.

This is not an easy thing for me; letting my youngest son drive.

Fourteen and a half years ago, my youngest brother was 16 years old, and just 3 months into having his driver's license when he was killed in a car accident.  That was a dark and difficult time for everyone in our family and I hesitate to even bring it up, for fear of bringing my mother pain.  I know she reads this blog.

A tragedy like that is something you never truly 'get over'.  Will was only 2 years old at the time, so he never got to know the uncle of whom he reminds me.

Because he does.

There is much in Will's personality that is similar to my little brother, Kris.  Will has a sensitive soul.  He is empathetic in a way that is rare in someone so young.  Kris was the same way.  Sometimes, I even thought his features were similar.  So, I have seen echoes of my little brother within my son as he has grown.

And now he is driving.

It makes me extra nervous, beyond the norm.  Last weekend's car accident didn't help, either.  I wish I knew how long it will take me to become okay with him driving.  Three months?  Six?  A year?  Until he is 18?

Never?!  Gah!  I hope not!

I am grateful for the probationary nature of new driver's licenses here.  Besides night-time restrictions (no driving from midnight to 5 am), he is also not allowed to have ANY passengers other than family members for the first 6 months.  This is supposed to eliminate showboating for peers during the first months of building driving experience.  The woman who issued him his license was also kind enough to remind him that, until he is 18, his driver's license belongs to his parents, who can take it away from him at any time and for any reason.

He drove to school for the first time, today.  He left 30 minutes early to avoid the "rush hour" parking situation at the high school parking lot and texted me upon his safe arrival.  After school, he went to see teachers about improving his grades... and to allow the parking lot to empty out before he drove home.  That will be the routine until further notice.

I can't and won't stop him from driving.  It is part of growing up and I can't deny him an important part of that transition from childhood to adulthood.

But, oh!  It is hard.

First Accident

If you think about it, we are all a little crazy.  We all strap ourselves into moving metal boxes and travel around KNOWING that eventually the odds are that we will crash.  Someone will do something stupid - maybe you, maybe me - and two cars will collide.  We wouldn't bother throwing our money at car insurance, otherwise.

Accidents happen.  They are a fact of life.  A fact that we all acknowledge subconsciously as we go about our lives.

Late Friday night (okay, it was actually early Saturday morning according to the clock), Will was hungry.  He wanted to fix some food, but the kitchen is right next to the master bedroom and my husband, Bill, was asleep.  I suggested that Helena drive him to Wendy's late night drive through and chucked a $10 bill at them.  Will actually just got his driver's license that very day, but a brand new under 18 license in the state of Utah comes with restrictions.  One of those restrictions is no driving from midnight to 5 am. So, if he wanted to go, he had to have Helena drive him.  They left around 12:15 am.

At approximately 12:45 am, Bill's phone started to ring... loudly!  I had been in the bathroom scrubbing my face.  I don't usually answer Bill's phone, but it was so loud and it was so late, I decided to look at the caller ID.

It was Helena.

I quickly answered it to receive the phone call that every parent dreads.

Helena and Will had been in a car accident.

My heart sunk to the floor!  I quickly got from her reassurances that both she and Will were not hurt.  Then I found out that she had decided to take my car.  My NEW car.  I asked her if it was her fault.  She told me in a shaky voice that she didn't know, but she thought it might be.

Oh!  I was MAD!  She told me where she was and I told her to hold tight, that I'd be right there.

It was a dark and stormy night.  When I got to the scene of the accident, I could see the damage to my car, but I couldn't see any other vehicle.  That confused me.  I pulled up behind the kids so my headlights could shine on the damage and I set my hazard blinkers.

All my anger bled away when I got to Helena.  She was crying and saying "I'm so sorry!" over and over.  My poor baby!  I just stood there in the rain, holding and comforting her while she cried.

She pointed out where the other car was, about 2 blocks away on the other side of the street and told me her story.  She was pulling left out of Wendy's drive through when the tail of the car was hit by another car in the closest lane to the curb.  She pulled over right away and immediately started panicking, saying "Mom's gonna kill me!"  She didn't know what to do.  She started trying to call me right away.  She tried 7 times.  Because I was in the bathroom, I didn't hear my phone (which is habitually set to vibrate) in the living room.  That's when she decided to try her Dad's phone number.

As Helena was standing around looking at the damage to the car and wondering what to do, two young  gentlemen in a pickup truck stopped and asked her if she needed help.  She briefly told them what happened and they drove over to the other vehicle to check on its occupant(s).  When they returned to Helena, they told her that NO ONE WAS IN THE OTHER CAR!  They advised her to call the cops.  Once they knew her mom was on the way, they took their leave.

I got on the scene about 10-15 minutes after the accident.  Once I calmed Helena down and told her it would be alright, I called 911.  By the time the local police arrived, it had been over 20 minutes since the crash.

The police confirmed that the other car was vacant.  So weird!  The police were as puzzled as we were.  After having Helena fill out an accident report, the officer sent us home, telling me I could call her during the next graveyard shift to find out if they had located the other driver.

We had all sorts of theories about why the other driver would bail like that.

1. Avoiding a DUI.
2. Underage/No license/joyriding with Mom's car.
3. A combo of 1 & 2.
4. A freshly "hot" car.
5. A warrant out for his/her arrest.

Okay, so that last one was a stretch.  I have a hard time picturing a warrant dodging Nissan Cube owner.  

It turned out, none of them were the case.  The driver/owner of the other car was just an odd duck.  She claims that she sat in her car for 10 minutes, but never saw the driver of the other vehicle, so she got out and started walking for home.  Really?  She has a 2010 Cube, but no cell phone?  And walking for home one town over is somehow a better alternative than asking the workers at the convenience store (or the McD's, or the Wendy's) RIGHT THERE to call the police for her?  She earned a citation for leaving the scene of an accident for that stunt.

Anyways, once I got everybody back home, I woke Bill up and told him the news, mostly so he wouldn't be shocked by the damage to the car when he stepped out to go to work the next morning.  Then I spent another hour talking to Helena about how lucky they'd been that the hit was to the back of the car and not where they were sitting...

... and to reassure her that, yes, this is a huge deal right now, and we'll get through it.

That's just it.  We will get through this.   It was scary, she needs to be more careful, and it is a big hassle with insurance and repairs and rental cars...

... but there will come a day a year from now when we can look back on this and realize that we did get through it and we did move on.  And there will be a day 5 years from now when we will realize that this accident wasn't even a very big deal in the whole scope of a lifetime.

She and Will are both home safe and sound, and that is really all that matters.

Park City Point 2 Point

This past weekend (Labor Day weekend, to be precise), Bill and I went up to Park City for a few days so he could compete in an endurance mountain bike race called the Park City Point 2 Point (PCP2P).  It was an approximately 80 mile race with a 14,000 foot elevation gain!  In other words, it is wicked hard!

Bill decided he wanted to be able to stay in Park City so we wouldn't have to get up so terribly early on the morning of the race, and so that we could relax and enjoy our after race celebrations.  He booked a hotel in town, and we left the kids at home.  This was the first time we have left them to their own devices, with no one checking up on them.  They did great, and I didn't even worry about them... even though I knew Helena and her best friend, Megan, were planning an adventure filled day in Salt Lake City that included City Creek Center and culminated in their first ever concert, Sugarland!

You'll have to ask Helena all about her big adventures, though I know the concert was at an outdoor venue and they got rained on.  Still, I think she had a blast.  I hope so, anyways.

Will also hung out with a friend, Braxton, while we were gone, but they stayed closer to home, just rattling around Walmart and watching movies at the house.

So,  back to the race!

On Friday night we drove up to Canyons Resort to get Bill's race packet and swag bag.  Also to pick up the jersey I had secretly ordered for him!

I had never been to the Canyons Resort before.  Man, that place is nice!  Bill and I both want to take the kids there for a Christmas Ski vacation... we just can't afford it.  That place is really high end.

I should actually back up and amend that statement.  Bill and I went there for a Sting concert years ago, before it was called Canyons.  It has gone through such an overhaul with all new buildings that I didn't recognize it as the same place!  Bill is the one that made the connection for me.

There was a lot more (and cooler) swag for this race than for any race I have ever done.  Apparently, mountain bikers know how to get the goods!  Bill came home with tons of treasures to share with the kids, both from the swag bag, and from winning raffle prizes at the end.  Bill also saw several other racers that he knows from the many group rides he's gone on.

Once we were done at Canyons, we checked into our hotel and decided to have dinner at the hotel restaurant.  Bad Idea.  The service was slow, the water tasted TERRIBLE (really, ugh!), and the food was mediocre, at best.  By the time we were done with dinner, it was getting late, so we called it a night and went to bed.

We got up super early (or at least, super early for me) on Saturday morning.  It was still dark out and very overcast.  I walked over to the grocery store next door, hoping to pick up something for Bill, when the rain began.  It was too early (4:30 am), the store was not open 24 hours like I had hoped, so I went back to the hotel room to finish getting ready to go.  By the time we got in the car and headed out to the start of the race, there was lightning and thunder and heavy rain.  We were nearly the first ones there.  Only the guy putting out the signage for the race beat us to the start.

We sat in the car for an hour as other people arrived and the rain continued to pour down.

We were both certain they were going to put off the race until the next day, at the very least.  The trails were all turning to mud!  However, after that hour, the rain let up and a pre-race meeting was held to decide what to do.  Most of the racers were willing to go for it, despite the mud, so, after clearing it with the various resorts that the race cut through (to make sure they didn't object to their trails being thoroughly trashed by mud racing), the race was on!  The start was just shifted to 8 am instead of 7.

Here is a picture of Bill with a couple of his mountain bike buddies, Josh and Ryan.  After the race started, I ended up spending the rest of the day with their wives, Kelly and Marion.  Both ladies were very nice to me.  They had been good friends for years, ever since their husbands started mountain biking together.

Here is a shot of Bill at the beginning of the race, before all the mud.

After seeing them off, I followed Kelly and Marion over to Deer Valley Resort, so we could cheer them on and so Kelly and Marion could be the support personnel for their husbands at the first checkpoint.  The race provided special needs bag service, so Bill packed his needed stuff into bags that the race support delivered to the checkpoint for him.  In other words, Bill didn't need me as support staff, just as his own personal cheerleader.  I was happy to do that!  So we cheered at the base of the Silver Lake Express lift, then rode to the top (holy cold, batman!) to meet them at the checkpoint.  Bill was significantly ahead of his friends, so by the time we got to the top, he was already in checkpoint!  I ran over to him quickly and gave him my love (oh. my. gosh.  he was coated in mud!) and saw him off.  There was another checkpoint at Park City Mountain Resort, but he told me not to worry about going there (since we didn't have a time frame for when he'd be there) and that he'd see me at the finish.

We waited around for Josh and Ryan before going back down the lift.  I swear their husbands told Kelly and Marion not to bother coming to Mountain Resort, but apparently that wasn't the case.  They were both peeved that their wives weren't waiting for them at the next checkpoint.  What did the ladies do instead?  They went shopping at the outlet mall with me.  Oops.  Sorry, boys.  I can't help thinking that is partially my fault.  It was my idea to go the mall.  After all, it was my weekend getaway, too.  However, both ladies swore they heard their husbands say 'see you at the finish', so I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

After a fun time at the outlet mall shopping and people watching, some misadventures in traffic (man!  Park City motorists are RUDE!), and a delicious pizza/salad lunch at a place called Maxwell's, we headed back to Canyons Resort and the finish line.

The weather ranged all over the map.  It went from blustery with lightning and rain, to sunny enough to strip off all the layers.  Bill came across the finish line in the sun at just over 8 hours 11 seconds!  The sign says 8'14" because of the staggered start.  You have to subtract 3 minutes from that time to get his actual time.  His friend, Josh, came across the finish just under 2 hours later.  Ryan did not finish.  Marion drove over to Park City Mountain Resort to pick him up.  Both guys got stuck in a hail storm that Bill missed, being ahead of them.  Josh said he's never doing this race again, but Bill hopes to sign up for it again next year.

We hung out for a little while longer there at the resort, giving Bill a chance to score a raffle prize goody bag and a jar of pickles.  Then we said good-bye to his friends and went back to the hotel to get cleaned up for a celebratory dinner at the Blue Iguana in the upscale part of Park City.

Sunday morning, we had a hard time searching out a decent place for breakfast, since many places were closed and we weren't willing to chance it with our hotel's restaurant again.  We finally found a pancake house down at Kimball Junction (next to the outlet mall) attached to the Best Western.

When they say 'pan'cake, they aren't kidding!  That thing was disgustingly huge!  I only ended up eating two bites of it and took the rest of it, along with some of my eggs and hashbrowns, home for Will to eat.

I have to say this, and pardon me for being rude, HOLY FAT PEOPLE!!!  We had just spent the entire weekend surrounded by over 1,000 extremely fit and healthy people.  Racers and spouses alike seemed trim and athletic.  So it was a bit of a shock to walk into the pancake house and see the majority of the clientele were obese.  To watch overweight people load their plates at the breakfast buffet again, and again... and again.  (We ordered off the menu.  No thank you, buffet.)  I was also disturbed to see the family at the table next to ours let their small children run around the restaurant in nothing more than a one-sie!  Ugh, people!  Find some class.

Sorry.  Rude and judgemental of me.  I know.

Still, breakfast was delicious and our waitress was very nice.  On our way back to the hotel to get checked out, we were about to drive past the Olympic Ski jump from the 2002 winter Olympics.  Bill made the comment that a friend had posted on facebook about seeing the ski team practicing just the other day.  So, we decided to detour and take a look.  They were!

There is a practice ski jump that ends in a giant pool of water!  The athletes ski down wet ramps, do flips in the air, then land in the pool of water below.  There is someone at the controls watching them do it, because right before they land in it, the water suddenly froths with aeration to soften the landing for them.  It was truly awesome to watch!

So, there's our weekend.  After that, we checked out of the hotel and headed home to spend Labor Day Monday with the kids, doing not much of anything.  Huge congratulations to Bill for such a monumental race!