My heart is overfull of emotions. Overwrought.
It hit last night. The reality that he is really leaving.
We decided to go to the lake one last time. We loaded up the gear and decided to try out Lincoln Beach, down on the south side of the lake. We had never been to that beach, though I had ridden on my bike past it during my half Ironman a couple of years ago. It's a 50 minute drive away, so it's kind of ridiculous that we drove past both Lindon Beach and the Provo boat harbor (both places where we play). But, new things are good, right?
Wrong.
Lincoln Beach turned out to be a great place to kayak, but not much else.
The shoreline was rocky instead of sandy. Rocks with muddy slime. The water was SHALLOW. I mean ankle-calf depth for most of the way out to the end of the jetty, with a bed of mud/slime to walk in. Once past the jetty, the water deepened slightly (maybe waist deep) and the waves were BIG! The evening breeze travels over the lake from North to South, so what may have started as little ripples to the north had built up to big rolling breakers at the south end.
Lincoln Beach is out in the middle of farm country. It seemed to draw a fisherman and "rednecks" crowd. There were camp chairs plunked down in the middle of the bay, with a group of guys lounging while fly fishing. Not a big deal, other than we felt like we were in their way.
Bill and Helena were going to float around on blow up loungers, but one floating dead fish convinced Helena that she DID NOT like this beach and she was done with the water. They got out and explored on land, instead.
Meanwhile, Will was struggling to get up on his board. The protected water was too shallow for the windsurf board. Will couldn't put down his dagger board (the tail fin that allows the board to trim forward instead of being dragged sideways by the wind). Beyond the jetty the waves and wind were too much for his sail. At least, too much without a harness for him to clip himself onto the boom. And he had left the harness at home, not anticipating the conditions.
So, there I was, paddling around in my kayak, watching Will get frustrated and angry on his last night at home. Suddenly, it hit me that he was leaving. And I just couldn't contain the emotions.
Many years ago, when my youngest brother was killed in a car accident, I discovered that a great release for pent up emotion was to beat it out in physical exercise. I recall one particular bike ride when I was able to pedal like mad while the tears streamed down.
Last night I had my kayak. So, I turned my face to the wind and I attacked those waves as the tears flowed. It hurt and it felt good all at the same time. I'm not sure if there is a better way to describe it. I took on a lot of water and thought (for the first time on that lake) that maybe I should have put on a life jacket. They were good waves!
The evening ended on a good note, with everyone laughing and happy at a nearby Wendy's for dinner. Well, mostly happy. Like I said, I'm overwrought.
And now he is gone.
We drove him down to the recruiting station this morning and saw him off with the families of 3 other recruits who are also going to Ft. Sill. I think I did a fairly decent job of not melting down in front of everybody. Sure, there were some tears, but considering how much I was feeling in the moment, I feel like I held it in pretty well.
He left his room a mess, but I'm staying out of it for a few days, until I can get a better handle on my emotional state.
I will be a weepy mess for a day or two. Or maybe a week or two.
Don't mind me. I'll be back to status quo, soon.
Endings and Beginnings
Hallo! We are just about to say 'good-bye' and 'good luck' to our young soldier. I have tried to pack as much fun into the month of June as I could. It will be his only month of summer vacation, so I wanted it to be fun and memorable.
We had family pictures taken. I'll post some as soon as I get them from Miss Saren (Mrs., actually, but she'll always be a young 'Miss' to me, since I'm turning into an old person). We swam. We went to the movies. We ate out more often than we could technically afford. We BBQ-ed. We had bonfires in the back yard. We went to the lake and windsurfed/kayaked/stowed away on some dude's catamaran (only Will did the last part, but, HEY! sounds cool). And, I took him and his 'battle buddy', Private Paul, up to the Solomon Center in Ogden (2 hr. round trip) so they could do indoor skydiving/rock climbing/indoor surfing! That was a fun day! Well, all except realizing when we got home that he had lost his dog tags. GAH!!! I went into panic mode. They have his name and SS number on them! I know he will be issued new tags when he arrives at Basic. Most new recruits get their first tags at Basic. Will has had dog tags for almost a year, however, because he enlisted last July and has been serving in his Reserve unit ever since. He has already received a promotion, in fact, and will be doing Basic as a Private 2nd Class.
Anyways, I hurried and called every venue up in Ogden and asked for them to look for the tags. And, wouldn't you know it, THEY FOUND THEM! HOORAY! The Flowrider staff found them over by the Costa Vida (where we ate dinner). They are going to mail them back to us, so we don't have to drive for 2 hours to retrieve them. One of life's little blessings!
So, I'm down to counting hours before my son leaves for this big adventure. I'm excited for him, but I'm sad for me. I will miss him something fierce! When Helena moved out, I stood in her room several times and just teared up over missing her... even though she was only two towns over and often brought her laundry home &/or came "shopping" in my pantry. This will be much harder. I have no doubt I will spend some maudlin moments in his room, too. I'm extra thankful that Helena moved back home. That will make this easier for me.
No Skype. No phone calls. No texts.
Only snail mail.
They will give him his mail once a week, and make him earn it with push ups. No packages allowed. Just words of encouragement and photos. He WILL get to call me once on the day after he arrives at the base, to let me know he arrived safely. After that, he MIGHT be allowed to call every few weeks... if he earns it &/or the Drill Sargent is in the mood.
Meanwhile, I have to move on with my plans for the summer.
Normally, I have a routine planned out from day one of summer break. Not this year. I let June roll over me in one big jumble of activity. So, starting July 1st, I am getting back into a schedule. Not a rigid-my-days-are-packed kind of schedule. Just a routine.
Get up at 6
Work out from 7-9 (this could be walking/jogging/bike riding/weights/whatever)
Yard work (and house repairs) until lunch at 11:30
housework for an hour after lunch
personal improvement (sketching/painting/Rosetta Stone) for two hours in the afternoon.
Unplug at 8
Swim from 8:30 to 9:30
Bed at 10
There are some rigid time frames in there. Notably the getting up/exercising/going to bed times. I find I do better at exercise if I am more rigid with it. The rest can shift as needed, and it leaves me plenty of 'down' time to be a lazy summer slug and lounge around poolside or on the porch. I need that just as much as the exercise! And, of course, there will be some interruptions to that plan. The Steel Days Art Show will consume a week in mid-July, and I will be teaching children's community art classes for a week in late July.
Saturdays and Sundays won't have all that going on. Those days will be pretty unstructured.
Actually, I plan to use my Saturdays to work on Will's room. It is due for an overhaul. I won't say more, now. Just know I have some exciting plans that I hope to surprise him with when he comes home!
So, I say farewell to my boy, and hope to welcome him back 6 months from now as a soldier and a man.
We had family pictures taken. I'll post some as soon as I get them from Miss Saren (Mrs., actually, but she'll always be a young 'Miss' to me, since I'm turning into an old person). We swam. We went to the movies. We ate out more often than we could technically afford. We BBQ-ed. We had bonfires in the back yard. We went to the lake and windsurfed/kayaked/stowed away on some dude's catamaran (only Will did the last part, but, HEY! sounds cool). And, I took him and his 'battle buddy', Private Paul, up to the Solomon Center in Ogden (2 hr. round trip) so they could do indoor skydiving/rock climbing/indoor surfing! That was a fun day! Well, all except realizing when we got home that he had lost his dog tags. GAH!!! I went into panic mode. They have his name and SS number on them! I know he will be issued new tags when he arrives at Basic. Most new recruits get their first tags at Basic. Will has had dog tags for almost a year, however, because he enlisted last July and has been serving in his Reserve unit ever since. He has already received a promotion, in fact, and will be doing Basic as a Private 2nd Class.
Anyways, I hurried and called every venue up in Ogden and asked for them to look for the tags. And, wouldn't you know it, THEY FOUND THEM! HOORAY! The Flowrider staff found them over by the Costa Vida (where we ate dinner). They are going to mail them back to us, so we don't have to drive for 2 hours to retrieve them. One of life's little blessings!
So, I'm down to counting hours before my son leaves for this big adventure. I'm excited for him, but I'm sad for me. I will miss him something fierce! When Helena moved out, I stood in her room several times and just teared up over missing her... even though she was only two towns over and often brought her laundry home &/or came "shopping" in my pantry. This will be much harder. I have no doubt I will spend some maudlin moments in his room, too. I'm extra thankful that Helena moved back home. That will make this easier for me.
No Skype. No phone calls. No texts.
Only snail mail.
They will give him his mail once a week, and make him earn it with push ups. No packages allowed. Just words of encouragement and photos. He WILL get to call me once on the day after he arrives at the base, to let me know he arrived safely. After that, he MIGHT be allowed to call every few weeks... if he earns it &/or the Drill Sargent is in the mood.
Meanwhile, I have to move on with my plans for the summer.
Normally, I have a routine planned out from day one of summer break. Not this year. I let June roll over me in one big jumble of activity. So, starting July 1st, I am getting back into a schedule. Not a rigid-my-days-are-packed kind of schedule. Just a routine.
Get up at 6
Work out from 7-9 (this could be walking/jogging/bike riding/weights/whatever)
Yard work (and house repairs) until lunch at 11:30
housework for an hour after lunch
personal improvement (sketching/painting/Rosetta Stone) for two hours in the afternoon.
Unplug at 8
Swim from 8:30 to 9:30
Bed at 10
There are some rigid time frames in there. Notably the getting up/exercising/going to bed times. I find I do better at exercise if I am more rigid with it. The rest can shift as needed, and it leaves me plenty of 'down' time to be a lazy summer slug and lounge around poolside or on the porch. I need that just as much as the exercise! And, of course, there will be some interruptions to that plan. The Steel Days Art Show will consume a week in mid-July, and I will be teaching children's community art classes for a week in late July.
Saturdays and Sundays won't have all that going on. Those days will be pretty unstructured.
Actually, I plan to use my Saturdays to work on Will's room. It is due for an overhaul. I won't say more, now. Just know I have some exciting plans that I hope to surprise him with when he comes home!
So, I say farewell to my boy, and hope to welcome him back 6 months from now as a soldier and a man.
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