Suicide

On a Sunday morning, one week after we got back from Hawaii, a classmate of Will's committed suicide.  Although Will and this boy were not best of friends, they were friendly and had known one another for years.  Will sat next to him in a couple of classes and thought of him as a really great guy.  A nice, friendly, smiling kid.  A well liked kid.  So his sudden and tragic death really shocked Will, and the entire community, for that matter.

We received official notification of his suicide from the school through e-mail only an hour or two after word had spread on Facebook and Twitter.  The school notification was to let parents know that the counselors at the school would be available all day on Monday for students who needed help with grieving and coming to terms with his death.  Will ended up spending the entire day in the counselor's office.  He just couldn't bring himself to go sit in class with his friend's empty seat right next to him.

Will really struggled with his emotions.  At home, his emotions switched from anger to love and endearment and back to anger all day long.  It hurt to see him so upset, and I worried about him.  

I also went through a surprising amount of really strong emotions, even though I had never met Will's friend.  I couldn't get his poor parents and siblings out of my mind.  I was close to tears for days.  I watched Will closely and wanted nothing more than to just hug him and love on him.  But, he is nearly 17, and doesn't appreciate a clingy mom.

The funeral was held on Wednesday.  Will asked for permission to leave school and attend the funeral, which I granted.  He seemed to be much more at peace after the funeral.  I wonder how often he thinks of his friend.  I worry about his mental health.  Is my own son at risk for suicide?  

The weird thing is, I am currently completing a suicide prevention course the district requires of me in order to renew my teaching license next month.  When I started the class a couple of months ago, I barely paid enough attention to take the quizes and check it off so I could move on with my recertification.  Suicide prevention isn't seen as a high priority for elementary teachers.  It is a secondary schools issue.  Now I am laser focused on everything presented and wonder if anything more could have been done to save the life of Will's friend.  

A month has gone by, and Will never speaks about it.  I know that it has left a mark on him, though, as it must have for all the students in the Junior class.  

Such a terrible waste of a beautiful, young life.