A New Era

Yesterday we received the registration materials for Helena's ballet school. It is summarized below.

Pre-Professional level : 15+ hours per week - $973 per semester (of 12 weeks)

Class Schedule
2:30-6:30 M&W
2:30-6:00 T,Th, & F
9:00-1:00 Saturdays (when needed)

This is an overwhelming schedule! High School lets out at 2:15 and it is a 10 min. drive to the ballet studio! That puts her on the go from 7:30 am until 6:30 at night... and then she would still have to deal with homework, chores, and her church calling (she is the Mia maids president). That is really stressful! That would be stressful even for an adult! Helena has been feeling more and more stressed with every passing year to succeed in school, succeed in ballet, and have a happy, well adjusted family and social life.

She has come to the realization that she doesn't want to be a professional ballerina. She wants to take a break from dancing. She will not return to ballet this fall. She says she wants to take a year off to focus on academics and then re-evaluate the decision next year.

This is a huge deal because dance has been such a big part of who she is for such a long time that I have feared she may lose her sense of identity without it. When we (meaning she with my support) came to this decision yesterday, she actually cried out of relief. She has been dreading/fearing school because she has feared she couldn't possibly succeed. She was stretched too thin and couldn't recognize the source of her distress until the pressure was removed.

I have also come to the realization that she has to make this decision for herself and I need to support her in it. I have wanted her to stay in ballet for selfish reasons. I love the bragging rights that come with a super talented child. This really should be about her needs, though, not my expectations or desires. It is unsupportable to keep pushing such an extreme schedule when she does not have the passion to make it her career.

So, that is it. This will be the first time in YEARS that I will have my daughter home after school and I won't have to be rushing my own schedule to keep up with hers. I think this will make a huge difference in the mood and tone of the house and our relationship; and I look forward to getting to spend more time with her!