I would love to post some funny or cute thing my kids have done recently, like all those 'mommy blogs' out there chronicling the lives of their adorable... and YOUNG... offspring.
The truth is, raising teenagers is not a cute and adorable thing. It is hard, and stressful, and not nearly so fun. I think there was some divine plan in getting to go through all the years of cute and fun before facing this stage, or our species would have killed itself off long ago. We can love our teenagers through thick and thin because we have built up a wealth of happy and loving times to recall and sustain us when the going gets rough.
I do know one thing for sure. High school was WAY more fun the first time around! You know... when I was the student.
My son has not been able to adapt to his Algebra 2 teacher's college lecture style of teaching and is going to fail this term. At least, it would take a miracle for him to pass. Not that long ago, thoughts like that sent me into a panic. Now, I am confident we can overcome this. I went in to see the guidance counselor today and requested that he be switched to another teacher. The counselor was happy to help. We'll put him in summer school for Alg. 2, quarter 1 if need be. I am hoping things go well next term for Will.
On the up side, Will has a mind for chemistry. He gets 'As' on the tests in that class. I sat and watched him do his online homework for that class and was amazed at how easily he calculated the half life of radioactive decay. He really gets it. And, he has 100% in Computer Science. That is the class where they learn computer programming languages. He is learning C++ right now. Just last week, he tapped into the programming code of an old PC game we have called Trespasser. He rewrote part of the code to give himself unlimited ammo and it worked!
Helena has been getting really stellar grades this term. So stellar, that I stopped checking up on her classes online. Big mistake.
She has been skipping out on Orchestra class for two weeks, now. TWO WEEKS! It is last period on B days, so she's been driving home (so she says), then driving back to pick up the boys after school. No one was the wiser. Until I ran into her Orchestra teacher at the local WalMart, that is.
I won't give you the blow by blow of how things went down with that discovery. Let's just say that I was devastated. She lied to a lot of people, including me. She has a TON of truant absences that have frozen her credit in that class. She will not receive credit for this quarter of orchestra until the absences are made up in attendance school. It will take her a while, too, since a truancy carries double jeopardy penalties. That means that for every one truancy, she has to go to attendance school twice to balance the scales.
She is currently grounded from pretty much everything. Her driving privileges have been revoked. Her phone and iPod have been confiscated. I changed her password on facebook, twitter, and YouTube. She is only allowed on the computer for homework. She is restricted to our property unless accompanying her father or me. No friends allowed over. All of this will remain in force until she passes this term of orchestra AND has undone all the truancies in attendance school.
You would think that will all those consequences, she would rebel and throw a huge fit. Actually, the opposite happened. She was so apologetic and understanding! She made a point of telling me she was not mad at me and that she was truly very sorry. I believe her. We all made some colossally stupid mistakes when we were teens.
I am looking forward to lifting these restrictions. And I can't wait to see Helena's friends back around the house again, too! (Hi, Megan... I miss you!)
Now, why in the world am I telling you all of this?!? You would think that I'd want to keep all of this to myself. After all, whenever our kids fail at something, whether it is academic or moral, we blame ourselves. I must have done something wrong, or not done enough of the right thing and that is why my kids struggle, right? That is what we all tell ourselves inside. We see how great their cousins are turning out, or the neighbor's kids for that matter and we feel like failures as parents. Everyone else (in the family, in our circle of friends, etc.) has perfect kids, so I must be the screw up...
The truth is, all teens go through difficult times. It might present itself in different ways, but the road to finding yourself, to figuring out how to be an independent being, is full of stumbling blocks, pot holes, and blind turns. The tendency we parents have of covering that up and only broadcasting the good and wonderful things our kids do sends a false message out there to other parents, who then wonder what in the world they did wrong, because their kids are struggling and everyone else seems to have perfect children!
My kids are beautiful in my eyes. I see so much that is good...no... amazing in them! There are difficult times to overcome, but I still love them fiercely, no matter what the struggles are. I hope they will always know that. And I pray for their happiness.
Primary Program... and other Sunday lessons
Today's Sacrament service was brought to you by the Primary!
The youngest Sunday School classes (broken down by age... 3-11) are collectively known as 'Primary'. In these classes, children learn gospel basics like 'Jesus loves me' (age 3) to Jesus' life and teachings, baptism, and repentance. Once a year, the Primary puts on a program during Sacrament meeting to highlight some of what they have learned. Children read scriptures or give short (and I do mean short!) talks and sing LOTS of songs. There are so many children participating that they fill up not only the choir seats behind the pulpit, but the front pews of the chapel, as well.
The Primary program is always such a hoot! There's the boy on the back row waving enthusiastically to his family sitting in the pews. There is the bitty girl on the front row crying for her mommy until her teacher takes her down and reunites her with mom. There is the squirmy boy who can't stand still during the songs and instead sways his whole body back and forth in order to get his tie to swing like a pendulum. And the kid who is turned completely around in his seat, not paying attention or participating in any way other than physically being up there.
When my family was younger, I was on high alert during the primary program. Guaranteed, every year a child o' mine was one of the children described in the above paragraph. So I couldn't enjoy the show because I was so focused on what my kids were doing. And there were the years when I was a Primary teacher myself, so I was focused on a whole row of squirming bodies instead of just my biological offspring. Now I don't have any Primary aged kids, nor am I a Primary teacher, so I can sit back and be entertained by the show. Children's voices singing about Jesus are so very sweet!
In other church classes, we discussed who Israel was and the gathering of 'Israel' prior to the second coming of Christ.
Israel was Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham. If you drew a genealogical chart, it would look something like this...
The youngest Sunday School classes (broken down by age... 3-11) are collectively known as 'Primary'. In these classes, children learn gospel basics like 'Jesus loves me' (age 3) to Jesus' life and teachings, baptism, and repentance. Once a year, the Primary puts on a program during Sacrament meeting to highlight some of what they have learned. Children read scriptures or give short (and I do mean short!) talks and sing LOTS of songs. There are so many children participating that they fill up not only the choir seats behind the pulpit, but the front pews of the chapel, as well.
The Primary program is always such a hoot! There's the boy on the back row waving enthusiastically to his family sitting in the pews. There is the bitty girl on the front row crying for her mommy until her teacher takes her down and reunites her with mom. There is the squirmy boy who can't stand still during the songs and instead sways his whole body back and forth in order to get his tie to swing like a pendulum. And the kid who is turned completely around in his seat, not paying attention or participating in any way other than physically being up there.
When my family was younger, I was on high alert during the primary program. Guaranteed, every year a child o' mine was one of the children described in the above paragraph. So I couldn't enjoy the show because I was so focused on what my kids were doing. And there were the years when I was a Primary teacher myself, so I was focused on a whole row of squirming bodies instead of just my biological offspring. Now I don't have any Primary aged kids, nor am I a Primary teacher, so I can sit back and be entertained by the show. Children's voices singing about Jesus are so very sweet!
*****
In other church classes, we discussed who Israel was and the gathering of 'Israel' prior to the second coming of Christ.
Israel was Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham. If you drew a genealogical chart, it would look something like this...
Noah
|
Shem-->Eber-->Terah
|
--------------|----
| | |
Abram Nahor Haran
| |
|----------| Lot
Isaac Ishmael |-------------------
| | | |
|------| |--->Arabs<-----Moab Ammon
Jacob Esau |
| |------->Arabs<----------------
12 sons
|
Israelites & Jews
This chart came from HERE, a fascinating, if dry and academic look at migrations of the peoples of the world and how they can all be traced back to the three sons of Noah. This is not a Mormon website, and is not official doctrine, but is an interesting read, nonetheless. Shem was the oldest son of Noah and the only one shown on this particular genealogical chart. According to the web article about the Table of Nations, my ancestry is linked to Noah through Japheth, his youngest son, not seen on this chart. Yet that doesn't preclude me from being linked through the 12 tribes of Israel, also. But for that, we need to back up.
The 12 tribes of Israel refer to the 12 sons of Jacob (who received the name Israel from God), the son of Abraham (Abram). Jacob's sons split into two factions, making a Northern Kingdom and a Southern Kingdom. The northern kingdom was destroyed by attacking enemies and the 10 tribes who settled there were taken captive and all record of them disappeared. They became known as the "lost tribes of Israel". The two tribes left in the southern kingdom were also attacked and taken into captivity around 586 BC (100 years after the northern kingdom was destroyed). Both of these events caused the descendants of Israel to be scattered all through the world. Every generation born causes more and more people to be included in the house of Israel without their even knowing it because the children of Israel married into the cultures and regions where they found themselves.
At any rate, I am rambling on and probably putting you to sleep. I found the genealogical aspect of the lesson fascinating, as you can tell.
*****
This afternoon, after church, our Home Teachers stopped by. This is another church program where two men from the congregation are assigned to stop by our house once a month, bringing a spiritual message and making sure that everything is going well for our family. If the family was struggling (unemployment, illness, needing help with something), the home teachers are supposed to be on hand to find out about the need and get in touch with the right people to help solve the problem. It is a networking and fellowshipping program. For instance, we found out from them that one of our neighbor's injured his hand while trying to finish re-shingling his roof. He's going to need help finishing the job, so we'll probably head over there tomorrow afternoon and lend a hand. We visit and chat and joke around with the home teachers. They are good guys.
One of the home teachers shared a story told by President Monson. He (Pres. Monson) was at the bedside of a dying man who asked "what happens to me after I die?" President Monson was able to read a passage of scripture to the dying man from Alma, chapter 40, verses 11-12, in the Book of Mormon. It says; "...the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." The dying man was reassured and was able to meet death with a calm heart.
I have only once thought I was about to die. Many years ago, I had been driving recklessly and lost control of an SUV on a large sheet of black ice going freeway speeds. Fortunately, I was able to keep the car facing forward and eventually got it back under control. But there was a moment when I thought I had killed us all with my poor judgement. There was no time in that instance to contemplate my mortality and what lay beyond death. All I could think about was trying to get control of the car and not flipping over!
But I can't imagine facing death with the terror of not knowing what is to become of me! To see death as the end of all things? To suddenly stop existing?!? To no longer be me? No. Death is not the end. I am certain of it. More certain than I can testify to here. I know I will continue to be me after I die, and that my Grandparents and little brother are waiting on the other side to welcome me home after I have lived out this life. It is good to know.
Morning Commute
On my way to work one morning last week, I noticed that the moon was hovering just over the western mountains. At the same moment, the sunrise was just grazing the tops of the same mountain range, creating a very pretty picture. I couldn't stop to take a picture, because I had to get to work on time. But, I did try to take several pictures while driving. That has to be right up there with texting and driving, so don't tell the cops, okay? Here are my two most successful shots.
Dark Thoughts
I am sorry I have been absent for a few days. I have been struggling with something for about a week now, and am still trying to come to grips with life as I know it.
Don't panic. It is nothing earth shattering. My family is healthy. My marriage is strong. I still have a job. When looking at it that way, I really have nothing to complain about. Still...
Last week, my boss approached me with an offer of more work. You may remember that the district forced him to cut my contract, resulting in a net loss of over $500 a month, or about $6,300 less for the year. The cut in pay couldn't have come at a worse time for our family, since Bill's bike accident put him out of work for 6 weeks and wrecked havoc with our finances. My boss was sympathetic to our situation and frustrated at being forced to reduce the arts in the school (as a side note, the forced cuts in the art programs also had the terrible side effect of destroying the after school choir and orchestra that he was so proud of, too).
So. My principal offered me a job tutoring small groups of students who are struggling with key core concepts. It pays hourly and sandwiches before and after my actual contracted time as the visual arts teacher. The hourly pay rate is terrible ($8.37), so he sweetened the offer by including a $2000.00 stipend to make it worth my time. After talking it over with Bill, I accepted the position because, dang it!, we need the money.
If it weren't for that need, I probably wouldn't do it.
"But why not?!?" You wonder.
Well, besides the fact that I like working part time much better than full time?
To fully answer that question a flashback is in order.
It is the 2002/2003 school year. It is going to be my third year teaching, and I have agreed to transition from the part time visual arts teacher position I have held for the past two years to being a full time 6th grade core teacher. Two of the teachers from the 6th grade team retired at the end of the previous year, and the one remaining teacher recruited me to join her because she liked my teaching style and thought we'd make a good team. I was flattered, of course. And the increase in work load would also double my salary.
The year started out OK. I am still stuck in a trailer, which feels very isolating. My greatest worries, though, are for the kids in my class who are performing well below grade level. What in the world am I supposed to do with 6th graders who are reading on a FIRST grade level?!? They do go to resource for language arts, but they come back to me for science and they can't read even the most simple texts. I have my students keep daily journals. Whenever Travis bothers to write in his, it says "i hate skol. i hate skol. i hate skol..." over and over. How can I blame him when it is all so much over his ability level? How did he fall so far behind and how am I supposed to catch him up 5 grade levels in one year... especially since he 'hates skol'?!?
We have been in school for two months now. The principal called me in to his office to let me know that he got a call from the superintendent about me. Apparently, there is a parent who wants her child taken out of my class immediately because I yell all the time. ?!? What? She says her daughter cries every morning and doesn't want to come to school because I am so mean. I am flabbergasted. This is my star student! She is the best behaved, sweetest girl in the class. She is very quiet, yes. But she is always willing to answer and I would never have thought she was crying right before school or was reluctant to come to my class! The mom and dad (in his cop uniform) ambush me in the library wanting to know why I yell at the class. I don't! It is true that there are a couple of difficult boys in the class, but the class as a whole is just fine. The principal is frustrated that the parents jumped right over every one's heads and went straight to the superintendent without even talking to me first... or him for that matter. So, my star pupil is moved to the class the parent's insist on to smooth things over. I find out later that her best friend was in that class. Opinions on the faculty are that the little girl manipulated her way into getting into the same class as her best friend. Still, my confidence has been shattered. I am gun shy of every parent contact, now.
Four months into school. I am having difficulty sleeping. My mind keeps jolting me awake with anxieties over the low performing students in my class. I am so tired and worn out stressing over other people's children that I have no patience to deal with my own. My children are in after school day care for a couple of hours every day while I work and they are picking up some dirty language and ugly behaviors. Another student is pulled out of my class. This time, his parents decide to home school him because he isn't 'getting what he needs' from me. He never got his work done in class, never took his homework home, and just kept cramming it all into his extremely messy desk. I did everything I could think of to get him to stay on task, do his work, and keep his desk clean. I wish his mother better luck than I had. Still, another perceived failure and my self esteem takes another blow.
It is the end of the year and time for core testing. They don't let me see what is on the tests (to keep me from teaching to the test), but the other teachers have all gone through the testing process before and know what the questions will be like. I don't have any idea and I'm terrified I haven't prepared my students enough! Testing will take a week or two. One of my students takes two minutes flat to fill in random bubbles and hands over the test with a cheeky grin. He knows that I know he just blew off the test. He doesn't care. Does he know that my perceived effectiveness as a teacher is based on his answers to this test?! I encourage him to take his time and check his answers (to take the test seriously), but he refuses and insists he is done with the test. Mike, my most troublesome student, gets expelled from school half way through the tests. He has been so difficult to deal with all year that the school recommended he be put into a special unit for students with behavioral disorders. The special unit wouldn't take him because his parents wouldn't cooperate with them. So he remained with me... that is until he beat up a younger student on the playground and threatened the playground aide. His tests get turned in with half the bubbles blank since he wasn't around to finish them. That ends up showing on my class results, too.
That was the only year I worked full time as a core teacher. It was so full of pain and angst for me, that I decided the money simply wasn't worth it and I requested a return to the part time visual arts position... which was granted, though I was welcome to stay in the 6th grade position, too.
I love my job as an art teacher! I love what I teach and most of the kids are very well behaved in my classroom because everyone enjoys art. There is no concrete leveling. You don't see people label kids as being on a 1st grade level in art when they should be on a 6th grade level. It doesn't keep me up at night and I have never had a parent request to have a child taken out of my art class.
The extra work my principal has given me is a new program implemented in the district called 'Double Dosing'. In this program, students who are struggling are identified by their core teacher and invited to attend before or after school tutoring sessions in the core concept that needs to be strengthened. I am to be that tutor. I am working with the 3rd and 4th grades. Currently, I am working with 3rd graders who still struggle with addition fact families. That means basic addition like 5+6=11. These kids are still working that one out on their fingers at a time when they are supposed to be ready to start learning multiplication. Some of the kids are only struggling a little and are quick to catch on to my game/lessons. But there are a few that are giving me flashbacks to those struggling 6th graders. For instance...
This morning, I was working with them on the fact family of 9+7=16. We had talked about using 10+7=17 as a strategy for helping us to figure this one out, then we wrote the full fact family...
Don't panic. It is nothing earth shattering. My family is healthy. My marriage is strong. I still have a job. When looking at it that way, I really have nothing to complain about. Still...
Last week, my boss approached me with an offer of more work. You may remember that the district forced him to cut my contract, resulting in a net loss of over $500 a month, or about $6,300 less for the year. The cut in pay couldn't have come at a worse time for our family, since Bill's bike accident put him out of work for 6 weeks and wrecked havoc with our finances. My boss was sympathetic to our situation and frustrated at being forced to reduce the arts in the school (as a side note, the forced cuts in the art programs also had the terrible side effect of destroying the after school choir and orchestra that he was so proud of, too).
So. My principal offered me a job tutoring small groups of students who are struggling with key core concepts. It pays hourly and sandwiches before and after my actual contracted time as the visual arts teacher. The hourly pay rate is terrible ($8.37), so he sweetened the offer by including a $2000.00 stipend to make it worth my time. After talking it over with Bill, I accepted the position because, dang it!, we need the money.
If it weren't for that need, I probably wouldn't do it.
"But why not?!?" You wonder.
Well, besides the fact that I like working part time much better than full time?
To fully answer that question a flashback is in order.
It is the 2002/2003 school year. It is going to be my third year teaching, and I have agreed to transition from the part time visual arts teacher position I have held for the past two years to being a full time 6th grade core teacher. Two of the teachers from the 6th grade team retired at the end of the previous year, and the one remaining teacher recruited me to join her because she liked my teaching style and thought we'd make a good team. I was flattered, of course. And the increase in work load would also double my salary.
The year started out OK. I am still stuck in a trailer, which feels very isolating. My greatest worries, though, are for the kids in my class who are performing well below grade level. What in the world am I supposed to do with 6th graders who are reading on a FIRST grade level?!? They do go to resource for language arts, but they come back to me for science and they can't read even the most simple texts. I have my students keep daily journals. Whenever Travis bothers to write in his, it says "i hate skol. i hate skol. i hate skol..." over and over. How can I blame him when it is all so much over his ability level? How did he fall so far behind and how am I supposed to catch him up 5 grade levels in one year... especially since he 'hates skol'?!?
We have been in school for two months now. The principal called me in to his office to let me know that he got a call from the superintendent about me. Apparently, there is a parent who wants her child taken out of my class immediately because I yell all the time. ?!? What? She says her daughter cries every morning and doesn't want to come to school because I am so mean. I am flabbergasted. This is my star student! She is the best behaved, sweetest girl in the class. She is very quiet, yes. But she is always willing to answer and I would never have thought she was crying right before school or was reluctant to come to my class! The mom and dad (in his cop uniform) ambush me in the library wanting to know why I yell at the class. I don't! It is true that there are a couple of difficult boys in the class, but the class as a whole is just fine. The principal is frustrated that the parents jumped right over every one's heads and went straight to the superintendent without even talking to me first... or him for that matter. So, my star pupil is moved to the class the parent's insist on to smooth things over. I find out later that her best friend was in that class. Opinions on the faculty are that the little girl manipulated her way into getting into the same class as her best friend. Still, my confidence has been shattered. I am gun shy of every parent contact, now.
Four months into school. I am having difficulty sleeping. My mind keeps jolting me awake with anxieties over the low performing students in my class. I am so tired and worn out stressing over other people's children that I have no patience to deal with my own. My children are in after school day care for a couple of hours every day while I work and they are picking up some dirty language and ugly behaviors. Another student is pulled out of my class. This time, his parents decide to home school him because he isn't 'getting what he needs' from me. He never got his work done in class, never took his homework home, and just kept cramming it all into his extremely messy desk. I did everything I could think of to get him to stay on task, do his work, and keep his desk clean. I wish his mother better luck than I had. Still, another perceived failure and my self esteem takes another blow.
It is the end of the year and time for core testing. They don't let me see what is on the tests (to keep me from teaching to the test), but the other teachers have all gone through the testing process before and know what the questions will be like. I don't have any idea and I'm terrified I haven't prepared my students enough! Testing will take a week or two. One of my students takes two minutes flat to fill in random bubbles and hands over the test with a cheeky grin. He knows that I know he just blew off the test. He doesn't care. Does he know that my perceived effectiveness as a teacher is based on his answers to this test?! I encourage him to take his time and check his answers (to take the test seriously), but he refuses and insists he is done with the test. Mike, my most troublesome student, gets expelled from school half way through the tests. He has been so difficult to deal with all year that the school recommended he be put into a special unit for students with behavioral disorders. The special unit wouldn't take him because his parents wouldn't cooperate with them. So he remained with me... that is until he beat up a younger student on the playground and threatened the playground aide. His tests get turned in with half the bubbles blank since he wasn't around to finish them. That ends up showing on my class results, too.
That was the only year I worked full time as a core teacher. It was so full of pain and angst for me, that I decided the money simply wasn't worth it and I requested a return to the part time visual arts position... which was granted, though I was welcome to stay in the 6th grade position, too.
I love my job as an art teacher! I love what I teach and most of the kids are very well behaved in my classroom because everyone enjoys art. There is no concrete leveling. You don't see people label kids as being on a 1st grade level in art when they should be on a 6th grade level. It doesn't keep me up at night and I have never had a parent request to have a child taken out of my art class.
The extra work my principal has given me is a new program implemented in the district called 'Double Dosing'. In this program, students who are struggling are identified by their core teacher and invited to attend before or after school tutoring sessions in the core concept that needs to be strengthened. I am to be that tutor. I am working with the 3rd and 4th grades. Currently, I am working with 3rd graders who still struggle with addition fact families. That means basic addition like 5+6=11. These kids are still working that one out on their fingers at a time when they are supposed to be ready to start learning multiplication. Some of the kids are only struggling a little and are quick to catch on to my game/lessons. But there are a few that are giving me flashbacks to those struggling 6th graders. For instance...
This morning, I was working with them on the fact family of 9+7=16. We had talked about using 10+7=17 as a strategy for helping us to figure this one out, then we wrote the full fact family...
9+7=16
7+9=16
16-9=7
16-7= ...
Then I asked one of the little girls to supply the final answer. She sat there puzzled, with a deer in the headlights sort of glazed look and said, "5?" Oh! I'd hate to know what it feels like to see the world through her brain! She must live in a constant state of confusion. It makes me sad for her, but also very anxious because I don't know how to get through to her!
Aurgh! I have only been doing this for a few days and I am already feeling my stress levels climb through the roof! I am losing sleep over trying to figure out how to help them succeed. Literally. I woke up 5 times last night feeling anxious.
And, just in case I wasn't feeling stressed enough... I got a phone call from the high school orchestra teacher on Monday. Apparently, Helena hasn't shown up for class in over a week! I was at a conference down at Utah Valley University at the time I got that news. A quick phone conversation with Helena ensued, and I cut my conference attendance short (I missed the last presentation) to go home and have a mother/daughter conference, instead. She doesn't want to do orchestra anymore. I don't want to pay my bills anymore, but that is still happening! She agreed that there are things we have to do, even if we don't want to. She meekly apologized to both me and her orchestra teacher and resumed attending the class.
Then there is the fact that both of my kids have 'locked' credits because they need to make up tardies (absences in Helena's case) at tardy/attendance school.
Season ski passes are only offered through Halloween and I really wanted to get one for Will, but I am not sure if I can come up with the money. And the marathon registration fee will go up by $10 by then, too, if I don't register early. I hate money.
Oh, and Bill wants to get the ball rolling on a house refinance since rates are so low right now. I think it would be great to save some money (of course!), but I just dread the additional paperwork and deadlines involved. Just right now I want to crawl in a whole and disappear for a month or so.
Sorry for the long winded and very depressing post. I have been trying to weed my way through my feelings and needed to compose them on paper (computer screen) to analyze them. I think what I have found is that I am not one of those people who thrive on adversity and challenges. There are lots of jobs out there that are much more stressful than teaching. There are also teachers who deal with much more difficult and daunting challenges than trying to tutor a few struggling students. I know that. I certainly don't deserve any sympathy on that score. Big deal that I now put in more hours than I wanted to? Or that I have returned to teaching high stakes subjects? We all have to do things we don't want to in this life.
I have also wondered why I am so 'normal' for an artist. You know what I mean. Most artists have ... interesting ... personalities and some could be described as downright ... odd. weird. messed up.
I think I am so 'normal' because I avoid confrontations of all sorts. I thrive on peace. I am very laissez-faire. What will be will be and all that. When I am faced with a situation that doesn't fit those parameters (like trying to get students caught up to grade level when the odds are stacked against it, or parenting a teen for that matter), I start to freak out. Headaches, Insomnia. Distracted thoughts. Feelings of panic. Depression. Dang. I AM one of those crazy artists.
Fast and Testimony Meeting
Before I ramble on about today's Sunday service, I just wanted to say this...
I know that a lot of you, my friends, are not Mormon. Or even particularly religious for that matter.
That's OK with me.
I am not trying to 'convert' any of you with my Sunday posts.
I am writing these posts for my children. To let them know what is in my mind and my heart as I attend Sunday services. To hopefully try to encourage them to want religion in their lives, too.
You, of course, are welcome to read, as well! No matter what your religious affiliations, a good message is... well... GOOD, you know?
*****
On the first Sunday of every month, there are no assigned speakers or an assigned topic for the sermon. Instead, after the Sacrament has been blessed and passed, congregation members are invited to come up to the pulpit and bear their testimonies. A testimony in a court proceeding is your declaration or your witness, sworn under oath. A religious testimony is somewhat similar. It is your personal witness or declaration of the gospel. Congregation members are asked to keep their testimonies centered on Christ (otherwise you sometimes get long rambling stories about random stuff). There is no age restriction, anyone can bear testimony... although parents coming up and whispering stuff into a little child's ear so he/she can parrot it back in the microphone is discouraged. Children who choose to bear testimony are supposed to be able to do it unassisted.
This once a month meeting is called 'Fast and Testimony Meeting'. I've described the testimony part of it, but need to mention the fasting part of it. Once a month, congregation members are asked to voluntarily fast for two meals. It is not just a matter of going without food. The fast is supposed to be focused... started with a prayer and a specific purpose chosen by the person doing the fasting. Maybe they need help and guidance with a particular problem at work, or at home. Sometimes the congregation will focus their fast together to center the prayers of everyone on behalf of a particular member's needs.
I am not always very good about fasting. Most of the time I've eaten breakfast before I even realize it is the first Sunday of the month. Oops. However, I have found that a fast is an effective way to focus the mind on matters of the spirit. I find answers to prayer more easily when I am fasting.
Anyways, some testimony meetings drag on with long breaks between congregation members getting up. Other testimony meetings are just crammed with members all waiting to bear witness of Christ and the meeting runs over time to allow them to speak. This Sunday was a moderate day. Not too many long silent breaks, but we didn't go over, either.
The testimonies came from a broad spectrum of people. There were elderly members bearing witness to the goodness of God through several generations of their families, expressing grief over missing a cherished spouse who had passed on, and their feelings of hope and joy that one day they will be reunited. A couple of kids got up. The first person to bear testimony was a 12 year old girl. Her family is new to the congregation and she wanted to thank God for giving her new friends here in the congregation. The other child was a boy who expressed his faith that his dad (who has been unemployed for several months, now) will find a job, soon.
The testimony that stood out the most for me, though, came from a young woman. I call her 'young' because she is younger than me. She probably falls in the 25-35 year old range. She told about her frustrations at trying to get to church on Sundays, but finding it too difficult since her new nursing job had her working a 13 hour shift on Saturday nights. She was to the point of quitting her job so that she could go to church, but she needed her job. She prayed for an answer to her dilemma. In the end, she was able to find the courage to go to her boss and ask about changing shifts. That takes a lot of guts when you are the new employee. Now she works the Friday night shift instead and is able to come to church.
That sort of hit me. I don't have any schedule conflicts keeping me from church, but there are times when I just don't feel like going. And, of course, my kids don't want to come to church more often than not. Yet here is this woman who is willing to risk her job in order to come to church on Sunday. I admire her for that.
So, all in all, it was a good meeting and I am glad I went!
I know that a lot of you, my friends, are not Mormon. Or even particularly religious for that matter.
That's OK with me.
I am not trying to 'convert' any of you with my Sunday posts.
I am writing these posts for my children. To let them know what is in my mind and my heart as I attend Sunday services. To hopefully try to encourage them to want religion in their lives, too.
You, of course, are welcome to read, as well! No matter what your religious affiliations, a good message is... well... GOOD, you know?
*****
On the first Sunday of every month, there are no assigned speakers or an assigned topic for the sermon. Instead, after the Sacrament has been blessed and passed, congregation members are invited to come up to the pulpit and bear their testimonies. A testimony in a court proceeding is your declaration or your witness, sworn under oath. A religious testimony is somewhat similar. It is your personal witness or declaration of the gospel. Congregation members are asked to keep their testimonies centered on Christ (otherwise you sometimes get long rambling stories about random stuff). There is no age restriction, anyone can bear testimony... although parents coming up and whispering stuff into a little child's ear so he/she can parrot it back in the microphone is discouraged. Children who choose to bear testimony are supposed to be able to do it unassisted.
This once a month meeting is called 'Fast and Testimony Meeting'. I've described the testimony part of it, but need to mention the fasting part of it. Once a month, congregation members are asked to voluntarily fast for two meals. It is not just a matter of going without food. The fast is supposed to be focused... started with a prayer and a specific purpose chosen by the person doing the fasting. Maybe they need help and guidance with a particular problem at work, or at home. Sometimes the congregation will focus their fast together to center the prayers of everyone on behalf of a particular member's needs.
I am not always very good about fasting. Most of the time I've eaten breakfast before I even realize it is the first Sunday of the month. Oops. However, I have found that a fast is an effective way to focus the mind on matters of the spirit. I find answers to prayer more easily when I am fasting.
Anyways, some testimony meetings drag on with long breaks between congregation members getting up. Other testimony meetings are just crammed with members all waiting to bear witness of Christ and the meeting runs over time to allow them to speak. This Sunday was a moderate day. Not too many long silent breaks, but we didn't go over, either.
The testimonies came from a broad spectrum of people. There were elderly members bearing witness to the goodness of God through several generations of their families, expressing grief over missing a cherished spouse who had passed on, and their feelings of hope and joy that one day they will be reunited. A couple of kids got up. The first person to bear testimony was a 12 year old girl. Her family is new to the congregation and she wanted to thank God for giving her new friends here in the congregation. The other child was a boy who expressed his faith that his dad (who has been unemployed for several months, now) will find a job, soon.
The testimony that stood out the most for me, though, came from a young woman. I call her 'young' because she is younger than me. She probably falls in the 25-35 year old range. She told about her frustrations at trying to get to church on Sundays, but finding it too difficult since her new nursing job had her working a 13 hour shift on Saturday nights. She was to the point of quitting her job so that she could go to church, but she needed her job. She prayed for an answer to her dilemma. In the end, she was able to find the courage to go to her boss and ask about changing shifts. That takes a lot of guts when you are the new employee. Now she works the Friday night shift instead and is able to come to church.
That sort of hit me. I don't have any schedule conflicts keeping me from church, but there are times when I just don't feel like going. And, of course, my kids don't want to come to church more often than not. Yet here is this woman who is willing to risk her job in order to come to church on Sunday. I admire her for that.
So, all in all, it was a good meeting and I am glad I went!
First Snow
Homemade Caramel Apples
Last Monday a large chunk of my day was dedicated to trying to make the fancy store variety caramel apples. It took a lot of time and effort to finally create 8 amazing looking treats! I gave away 4 of them and kept the rest for my family.
They were yummy, but the store bought ones still won out on the taste test. They must do something to the caramel to make it so much softer? I am going to try one more time on Halloween and then probably throw in the towel until next year and move on to more Thanksgiving-ish endeavors.
They were yummy, but the store bought ones still won out on the taste test. They must do something to the caramel to make it so much softer? I am going to try one more time on Halloween and then probably throw in the towel until next year and move on to more Thanksgiving-ish endeavors.
Beauty Secrets
I don't claim to be any kind of a beauty. But I do want to stay looking as young as I possibly can, for as long as I possibly can. I think every women wants that. I feel like I have been more successful than not; most people mis-guess my age by about 10 years. What I mean by that is that when they guess my age, they think I am 10 years younger than I actually am. Most of my student's parents, for instance, are quite shocked to find out that I am the mother of nearly grown kids.
So, here are some of my 'beauty secrets' that have helped me defy my age (so far).
First off, I just have to say that I believe in growing old gracefully. That means that I won't resort to any kind of plastic surgery to make my face look younger than it actually is. That also means that when I do go grey (hopefully white), I will probably just go all white rather than try to maintain a color. I have no problem with coloring hair, it just isn't me.
Now, on to the secrets!
So, here are some of my 'beauty secrets' that have helped me defy my age (so far).
First off, I just have to say that I believe in growing old gracefully. That means that I won't resort to any kind of plastic surgery to make my face look younger than it actually is. That also means that when I do go grey (hopefully white), I will probably just go all white rather than try to maintain a color. I have no problem with coloring hair, it just isn't me.
Now, on to the secrets!
- DRINK LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER!!! That is your number one age fighting tool! Not juice, not soda, not coffee or tea. Water. It flushes out your system of toxins that might settle in the layers of your dermis and do damage.
- SUNSCREEN! When growing up in the Seattle area, I scoffed at this one. Who needs sunscreen? Who ever sees the sun, anyways? Well, when I moved to Utah, I discovered just how powerful the sun can be. My first summer here, I went to the pool and spent the entire day swimming, splashing, and sunbathing... with no sunscreen. I didn't realize what a severe mistake I had made until it was too late. I was beyond burned. I got physically ill. So sick that I was shaking uncontrollably with chills and fever. I was nauseated, lightheaded, and had a migraine. I had sunstroke. I blistered on every inch of my body that had been exposed. It took a long time to heal, but boy!, did I learn my lesson! I ALWAYS wear sunscreen now! Winter, spring, summer, fall... it doesn't matter. Nothing less than 55 SPF for my face, and nothing less than 30 SPF for the rest of my body.
- SUNGLASSES! While we are on the topic of sun avoidance, let's talk about sunglasses. You can prevent lots of eye wrinkles and crinkles just by being religious about wearing sunglasses. They keep you from the constant squinting you'd be doing without them. I wear them in all seasons. They are so much a part of me, that most of the time they are just perched on top of my head while I am indoors and my students come to expect them to be there.
- NO SMOKING! This one is no secret (of course, neither are the first 3, really). Studies have shown again and again the toll smoking takes on the body. I am grateful that I have never in my life been tempted to pick up such a toxic habit! It always seemed so backwards to me... inhaling smoke?!? That's what they always caution about it you're stuck in a fire; the smoke will kill you before the fire will! So it only stands to reason that you shouldn't let any kind of smoke get inside of you, right?
- LOTION, LOTION, LOTION! I live in a desert. I am a very dedicated to keeping my skin hydrated. I have lotion in my bathroom, my bedroom, my classroom, and my purse. Also, before I step out of the shower, while I am still dripping wet, I rub on a layer of oil. Yes, oil! It seals in some of the moisture and creates a barrier to prevent it from evaporating in this dry climate.
- FOR ZITS AND OTHER 'RED' SPOTS... Did you know that you can use allergy eye drops to pull the redness out of acne on your face? That stuff is supposed to remove the redness from eye tissue, but it will do the same for other tissue as well! Just squeeze a drop of it on the red spot and rub it in. It will take a few moments, just like it does for your eyes, but it works.
- FOR PUFFY EYES... I have heard people say that you can put a spoon in the freezer, then use it to reduce swelling and puffiness around the eyes by putting it up to the eye and letting a pocket of cold air form between the eye and the metal of the spoon. I usually don't have spoons sitting around in the freezer, or the time to put them in and wait for them to get cold. Instead, here is a quick fix, as long as you're careful! You know those nasal sprays meant to reduce inflammation in your sinuses? It will reduce swelling elsewhere, too! Spray some in your hand and carefully use your fingers to dab some of it on the swollen tissue under your eyes. Be careful not to get it in your eyes!
I can't really think of anything else off the top of my head, so now it is your turn! What are some of your beauty secrets? Leave a comment and share the wealth!
General Conference
Once every 6 months, my church holds a General Conference for the membership world wide. At these meetings, the leaders of the church speak to us. There are 5 two hour sessions spanning a Saturday and a Sunday. When I was a child, my family drove a long distance to sit in a larger church building that could hold multiple congregations all at once, so we could watch one session re-broadcast on a screen. I hated it because it meant sitting still for two whole hours, listening to what I thought were boring old people, instead of just one boring hour in Sacrament meeting, then off to my fun age appropriate classes.
When I moved to Utah as a young adult (to attend BYU), I discovered that I could watch General Conference on the TV in my living room! That was SWEET! I could sit around in my PJs, listening to church while eating popcorn and candy! My parents and siblings still had to drive to a meeting house. Not me, baby!
Of course, nowadays, with all the amazing technologies available, you can watch General Conference LIVE anywhere in the world, provided you can connect to the Internet. So, you can watch at home on the TV, the computer, or iPod/smart phone. You can choose to watch/listen on the go while traveling, or while camping with the family... so long as you can get reception.
I missed yesterday's sessions of conference because we were out and about shopping and at Will's lacrosse game. Sorry, but you can't really listen to church services and cheer on a lacrosse team at the same time. So I made a point of listening to both sessions today. Bill and I went on a 20 mile bike ride this morning (oh! It was so beautiful out!) and got back just in time for the first session to start.
I won't give you a blow by blow of all the speakers, because truthfully, my concentration phased in and out and I didn't catch all of it. Instead, I will give you some thoughts that stood out to me... messages that seemed to jump right out and grab my attention. I have learned to pay close attention when that happens, because it usually means that it is a little bit of gospel that I needed right at that moment.
MESSAGE NO. 1
A message to the dads of the world. How do you raise a daughter in this toxic world? With all the miserable messages being pushed at young women in the media (men will love you if you dress a certain way, buy a certain product, act out in this way), it can be a scary thing watching your daughter grow to be a young woman!
The answer? LOVE HER MOTHER! Show her by your actions what it means to be a loving husband and father so she will know what to look for when it is her time to consider starting a family of her own. The messages you portray daily in your actions as a husband will speak much louder than all the other crazy messages she gets elsewhere. It will give her the confidence to know how her future husband ought to behave towards her. And how her dates should be treating her now.
Of course, I took from this that I also ought to be modeling with my daily actions what a WIFE should be. Both for my daughter and for my sons. How I treat my husband will shape their perceptions of what a marriage should be like.
MESSAGE NO. 2
It seems like these days our cultural code of conduct has become "Anything goes, if you can get away with it". But God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and our moral code of conduct has not changed. The 10 commandments are still in force today.
- Thou shalt have no other gods before me. OK
- Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them. no problem here.
- Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain. This one has always bothered me. Not because I disagreed with it, but because so many people break it ALL THE TIME! I have always been so uncomfortable hearing people using God's name (and Jesus' name) as a swear word. Don't get me wrong. I swear more often than I like to admit. But not those names. I feel VERY uncomfortable hearing people abuse this very plain commandment just about all the time.
- Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates. I am a big offender here. I am always using Sundays as a catch up day on my laundry and if I'm really confessing here, I will admit that I didn't get the grocery shopping done yesterday, so I did it today. I definitely need to re-evaluate my attitudes toward Sunday.
- Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. OK.
- Thou shalt not kill. Usually not a problem, as long as he isn't referring to those pesky spiders that keep sneaking into my house! ;)
- Thou shalt not commit adultery. This is one that our culture in America is screwing up pretty royally. Adultery encompasses the whole spectrum from pre-marital sex, to pornography, to plain old cheating on your spouse. I am here to tell you all that there is something very pure and precious about being able to say that my husband is the only man who has ever 'known' me. That is a gift that I gave to him years ago. And that fidelity is a gift that I keep giving to him each and every day of our lives together. A very precious gift.
- Thou shalt not steal. This is one of those 'duh!' kind of things. But, really. Stealing can be as small as taking office supplies from work for use at home. Of course we wouldn't dream of walking in a store and stealing there, but what about that pen from work? Can we be absolute about this one? We should be!
- Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. No lying. Check. I've never been good at it anyway.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s. Durn it. I struggle with coveting sometimes. Not my literal neighbor, of course. But I do love to look at magazines of beautiful houses and yards. That's not bad, as long as I don't let it make me dissatisfied with my home. And, yes, I will admit that as a child I giggled over the word 'ass' in the scriptures. Really mature, I know.
The message here is that people seem to think that going their own way, making up their own moral code of conduct will bring them happiness. The truth is that there is nothing that can bring more lasting joy to our lives and more peace to our souls than following Jesus Christ.
MESSAGE NO. 3
This one was a great analogy-story. The speaker related something that happened to him while on vacation with his family. There were warning signs on the beach of a rip tide. He felt that he was a good swimmer, and if he stayed in the shallow water, all would be well. He was enjoying himself in the water when he looked to the beach where his family was playing, only to discover that the current had taken him farther out than he had anticipated. He struggled and struggled to return to shore, only to find the current too strong for him. As he grew weary and began choking on the waves, he was in real danger of drowning. Finally he called out for help and a life guard was there almost instantly. Apparently, the life guard had seen him go out in the water, knew he'd get into trouble, swam around the current to the spot he knew the current would carry him, and waited for him to ask for help.
The Holy Spirit is like the life guard. He is always right there for us, anticipating our need for help. All we have to do is call out!
I love stories I can relate to! I am a swimmer. I have been in the surf during a rip tide (although I never got into trouble because I turned back when the life guard told me to).
MESSAGE NO. 4 (last one, promise)
This was another analogy. Apparently they catch my attention.
This speaker was telling a story about his 3 year old granddaughter. Her mother was giving her choices with consequences attached to them. Choice/consequence no. 1, eat your dinner & get to have some ice cream. Choice/consequence no. 2, don't eat your dinner, no ice cream and go straight to bed. The granddaughter came up with her own solution to the problem...
Ice cream for dinner and no bed!
We chuckle over that, but how many times do we think we can choose, not just our actions, but the consequences, too? If she could have it her way, she would end up malnourished and exhausted. Consequences are not meant to be a punishment, but a way to keep us healthy.
My favorite quote of the day came from this message, too...
"Your eternal destiny will never be a matter of chance,
it will always be a matter of choice."
Lacrosse
Today's lacrosse game was played against Pleasant Grove. We were creamed again. However, our offense did manage to score three points, so it wasn't a complete shut out.
Will had several good plays and was put in for most of the game. Once, when he was pulled for a few minutes in the third quarter, the opposing team scored three goals back to back in quick succession. Will was put back in pretty quickly (along with another boy). Most of the defense team members just stand around because they don't seem to know what they are doing. Will is the most aggressive defender on the team, and isn't afraid to attack in order to defend. Nor is he afraid to draw the foul if it is to the team's advantage. For instance, the other team stole the ball and was speeding down the side of the pitch, so he pushed the ball carrier out of bounds, drawing a foul, but stopping the other team's momentum.
Here are this week's collection of lacrosse pictures!
Will had several good plays and was put in for most of the game. Once, when he was pulled for a few minutes in the third quarter, the opposing team scored three goals back to back in quick succession. Will was put back in pretty quickly (along with another boy). Most of the defense team members just stand around because they don't seem to know what they are doing. Will is the most aggressive defender on the team, and isn't afraid to attack in order to defend. Nor is he afraid to draw the foul if it is to the team's advantage. For instance, the other team stole the ball and was speeding down the side of the pitch, so he pushed the ball carrier out of bounds, drawing a foul, but stopping the other team's momentum.
Here are this week's collection of lacrosse pictures!
Will is at the bottom of the pile on the left of this shot. It really isn't supposed to be a tackle sport!
No, he isn't trying to trip the ball carrier. He is trying to hit the other player's stick to knock the ball out.
Sending the ball back into play after it went out of bounds. I was sitting pretty far away, so the picture is fuzzy.
I am loving the action pose in this one!
Will is more often than not in the middle of the action on the defender's side of the pitch. It seems like many of the other defenders are afraid to hit and be hit.
Number 27 is a midi, which means he plays both offense and defense and can travel the entire pitch (defenders stay on one side and attacker stay on the other, but midi's cross the line). He is a pretty good player, for our team, that is! Will is in the left of this shot (#14) about to hit somebody with his stick.
Lacrosse is actually very fun to watch. It is fast paced and the quarters are short. The entire game is played out in about an hour. I also like that it is an ancient Native American game. A truly American sport! It can't really help being exciting. After all, you've got a bunch of teen aged boys running around in helmets and armor bashing at each other with metal sticks! What's not to like about that?!?
Go AF Cavemen... and Fresh Market!
I stopped by Fresh Market yesterday to pick up a gallon of milk and couldn't help but take a picture of this soda display! Grocery stores have been making cool displays like this for a while now for everything from college teams to holidays, but it was neat to see the local grocery store using the display technique to support the local high school.
I wasn't the only one stoping to take pictures, either.
Way to go, Fresh Market!
Halloween Portraits?
I have been playing around with Picnik, trying to figure out a way I can get my 6th graders to make a Halloween portrait. I think it would be super fun...
...if.
If I could arrange for them to all use the premium features. The free features are not nearly as cool as the premium ones. I purchased a premium membership for my family, but I don't ethically think that extends to all my students.
If I could make sure they keep their portraits rated G on the gore and violence scale. There are options that are just too over the top for elementary students. Blood, injuries, and guts. However, there are fun fangs, glowing eyes, and other fun (non-slasher movie) things they could enjoy, too.
Here are some portraits I created this evening that range from slightly creepy in a fun way, to down right disturbing and almost scary. They are all from the same base photo of me.
...if.
If I could arrange for them to all use the premium features. The free features are not nearly as cool as the premium ones. I purchased a premium membership for my family, but I don't ethically think that extends to all my students.
If I could make sure they keep their portraits rated G on the gore and violence scale. There are options that are just too over the top for elementary students. Blood, injuries, and guts. However, there are fun fangs, glowing eyes, and other fun (non-slasher movie) things they could enjoy, too.
Here are some portraits I created this evening that range from slightly creepy in a fun way, to down right disturbing and almost scary. They are all from the same base photo of me.
Ghost me.
Creepy-up-to-no-good me.
Slightly disturbing and headed toward slasher flick me.
Out and out over the top slasher movie she's gonna die me.
Hey, look! I'm an ogre! I think the boys in the class will like this one.
So. I have a week or two to decide. I'll let you know how it goes.
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