"Brothers on a Sunday Morning"

12x18

(18x24 framed)

Pastel on paper

I started this so long ago I can't really remember when.  I think it was three years ago.  It sat on my easel in a mostly unfinished state until this fall.  I worked on it a little bit about a month ago, then finally finished it two days ago.  It had been taped onto the backing board for so long that the tape wouldn't come off the board.  Sigh.

Why did it take me so long to finish it?  Because I wasn't satisfied with how it was turning out.  I've had several positive comments on it from other people and that makes me feel good.  But it isn't how I had envisioned it in my head.  The colors aren't as unified and pure.  The proportion and rendering is too tight.  I tried to explain to Bill tonight how I struggle with my art, and I'll try to voice it here... if only for myself.

I want to loosen up on the rendering.  I don't feel like I need to be quite so obsessed with accuracy.  I'd like to push it to a more impressionistic level.  However, I also want to tighten up on the color palette.  The colors need to be more vibrant and unexpected.  I get so bogged down with shading that the colors get muddled.  And I definitely need a stronger light source.  More chiaroscuro. 

But most of all, I want to find my voice.  What am I trying to say with my artwork?  Is there a message I want to leave for the world?  Is there a theme I could focus on?  These aren't questions that anyone else can answer for me.  I have to do some soul searching, break out my sketchbooks, and start scribbling away at some ideas that have been marinating in my head for a while, now.

Hopefully I will find some answers.