Same Day Surgery...Two Week Recovery

You might have noticed that the entire holiday Bill has been pretty much out of the picture.

He has given me permission to blog about this.

He has been bothered for a while by a cyst on his left testicle.  Most men have them and they are no big deal.  Unless you are a long distance, crazy mountain biking freak like Bill.  He has spent so much time in the saddle that the cyst had become a painful problem even when he wasn't in the saddle.

The doc said it should be removed.

He tried to get it done once before, but changed his mind and canceled the procedure because it stopped hurting and who really wants a doctor tinkering down there?!

But, of course, the pain free time was short lived and Bill decided to take the plunge and let the doctor operate.  He also decided that while the doc was already down there, he might as well perform a vasectomy, too.  I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Don't get me wrong.  We are done having children and have been for 14 1/2 years.  Still, a vasectomy is such a permanent procedure!  But, it was his decision and I support him in it.  Interestingly enough, a married man has to have a signed and witnessed release form from his spouse before the doctors will perform a vasectomy.

The first procedure is called a spermatocelectomy (boy, the spell check really doesn't like that word!) and requires general anesthesia.  We checked into the hospital at 1:00 in the afternoon on December 21st.  They had him in pre-op by 2:00, but didn't take him away for the procedure until 4:00!  That was really mean, I think.  They left him laying on a hospital bed in nothing but one of those breezy gowns for two hours with nothing to do but get more nervous!  I sat with him the whole time.  Helena and her friend, Megan, came to the hospital and kept texting me, wanting to know where we were, and why was it taking so long?  Bill suggested that I go out to see them, but I refused!  I was there for him, they could wait.  They ended up going back over to Megan's house to wait for me.  They wanted to come to the hospital and keep me company while I waited out the surgery.

Meanwhile, Will was hanging out with his friend, Dallan, and managed to tell Dallan's parents that Bill was having a TUMOR removed!  Oi!  That caused some concerned neighbors and took some explaining after the fact.  Ah, well.  He meant well and he didn't really know there was a difference between a cyst and a tumor.

Anyways, the time finally came for Bill to be wheeled away.  The nurse and anesthesiologist stepped back for a moment while I gave Bill a kiss goodbye.  Once he was finally in surgery, I went down to the hospital snack shop and had a fantastic bacon cheeseburger!  Helena and Megan joined me in the snack shop and had a shake.  Helena picked out an ugly little 'get well' balloon-on-a-stick, which she, Megan, and I signed with a Sharpie borrowed from the Same Day Surgery check in desk.  Lest you think I am harsh in saying the balloon was ugly, it was her intention to find the ugliest one.  I think she succeeded.  The girls left not long after that.

The rest of the wait was short.  The doctor came out to see me after his predicted hour had ended and told me that all was well.  He said a nurse would come get me in 30 minutes or so when Bill had come out of the anesthesia. 

When the nurse  brought me to Bill, he was only kind of awake.  His very first words to me in his half conscious state were "can I have a kiss?'  That made me so happy!

I won't give you the blow by blow of his recovery before being released from the hospital.  I will only say that Bill is WAY too healthy for the hospital monitors!  The heart rate monitor alarm was pretty much a constant annoyance to us and the nurses because it is set to trigger at 50 beats/min.  A normal person's resting heart rate is between 60 and 80 beats/min.  Bill's normal resting heart rate is between 40-45 beats/min.  The nurses agreed that they weren't concerned about Bill's heart rate, that sort of low heart rate is to be expected in endurance athletes.  They were just frustrated at being unable to successfully reset the monitor to a lower threshold.

He was finally released to go home.  By the time we got out of the hospital, we were on the far side of 8:00 at night.  We stopped at the pharmacy closest to the hospital for his pain meds because it was getting close to closing time for all the pharmacies in the area.  Bill was so loopy on Percocet that he was actually kind of funny in the pharmacy!  He picked out a sucker for Will's stocking that had a small but REAL scorpion embedded in the middle of it!  And a ring for Helena that was actually pretty cool.  Then, before finally going home to rest, he had me take him to our favorite restaurant, Rubio's, for dinner.

So, there you have it.  The reason Bill has not gone skiing, or sledding, or to work for that matter.  This entire holiday was a recovery period for him.  Which is why he chose to do it now, of course.  He always takes the week between Christmas and New Year's off to spend it with the family, so it was a good time to recover from surgery, too.  I would say that I can't imagine what his recovery has been like, but that is not true.  I am pretty sure it has been quite similar to my recovery after the episiotomy I was given when Helena was born.

I am so glad you are feeling better, honey!!